I even dropped my ipad and ended up shattering a glass. Unfortunately, the psychiatrist I was seeing is kinda shit. He failed to tell me anything about this medication. We didn't discuss potential side-effects. I have no idea how long it might take for things to really stabilize.

As for akathisia, I do get the feeling sometimes that I NEED to do something, though it's not as bad as before. It's difficult to assess, because isn't that just motivation? Thankfully no psychical restlessness. However, the past few days, I've been very uncoordinated. Dropping things all the time.

It's been three weeks now since I started, two weeks since feeling any affect. I've ended up settling a bit lower than I would've liked. I've even considered going up in dose. But things are still changing. Sleep isn't good. I wake up several times a night, but no night sweats.

i told myself before trying this pill to not get my hopes up. never get your hopes up for anything relating to healthcare.

it would be devastating, honestly. i have to admit, the past few weeks HAVE felt better, even before I tried this medicine. i was no where near as bad as i was. i've gone out more in the past 2 weeks than i have all year.

with this medicine, there's a chance i'm not at the top of that ride yet. thats concerning too. to get to this point, for it all to turn wrong and then this becomes another medication like the forbidden fruit. to bring me so close to what i've dreamed of, only to be just out of reach.

thats what's happened in the past, through the depression. i'll feel happy. i'll talk to people. i'll go places. then the crash, and i hate myself. i tell myself i stupid i looked. how dumb i sounded. how annoying i must've been to everyone. that it was embarrassing, and i should never do that again

it's promising though. i felt so good the past 12+ hours, i was actually worried. it felt wrong in a way, but I've felt so bad for so long, maybe i don't know what it means to be me. i'm worried i'm on a ride, though, that i'm going up, i'm at the top, but i'm about to crash down.

I've been awake for awhile, but i want to stay awake for the day so i can sleep at night. mentally i feel alert, but my body is starting to tire. hopefully, i'll adjust to this. hopefully it doesn't get to be too much

I vacuumed some, cleaned the bathroom sink and tub. scrubbing the tub was hard. my hands and arms feel weak, almost shaking from the effort.

I tried cleaning around my apartment. as i imagined, after several months of barely doing anything, sometimes not even leaving the bed for an entire day or so, it was more physically taxing then it should be

i will post here about my experience so far with my new medication and such...