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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 33m

Hey, @rozzypunter.bsky.social is brand new on here, and I never even knew she was a punster! Go on, give her a follow! 🙂

Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Robyn Painter @rozzypunter.bsky.social · 6h

Wasn't expecting Bonnie Tyler to be employed as a spokesperson for a workwear company, but I guess it's the locutorships of Carhartt

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 13h

I tried to come up with an anagram of 'inane grave'. Never again.

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 13h

😂

Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 21h

- I've just started a new job making jewellery out of small puff pastry cases.
- Vol-au-vent earring?
- No, they pay me.

#LunchPun

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 21h

- I've just started a new job making jewellery out of small puff pastry cases.
- Vol-au-vent earring?
- No, they pay me.

#LunchPun

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 1d

Just thinking of Bromine makes me feel cold. Br.

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 1d

I'll never admit that I'm still the one who keeps stopping my wife's 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman' CD, because I've got pausable Shaniability.

#LunchPun

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 2d

My mate says his pet rodent is so well behaved that he could trust him with the most valuable work from his collection of French Impressionist paintings. I bet him £100 that he couldn't. It's time for him to put his Monet where his mouse is.

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 2d

My mate says his pet rodent is so well behaved that he could trust him with the most valuable work from his collection of French Impressionist paintings. I bet him £100 that he couldn't. It's time for him to put his Monet where his mouse is.

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · Nov 16

My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels.

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · May 8

Actor: How would you rate my ability to take direction?
Director: Below average.
Actor: *bellows* AVERAGE!!!

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 4d

In this one, I imagine the actor to be Brian Blessed...
bsky.app/profile/paul...

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · May 8

Actor: How would you rate my ability to take direction?
Director: Below average.
Actor: *bellows* AVERAGE!!!

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

Word is that Barbie’s sleep-deprived, vengeful and she's run out of firewood. She’s been burning the Ken doll at both ends.

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

- Say what you like about ET - The Extraterrestrial, he was born that way.
- Innate alien?
- Di ET - L'extraterrestre potete dire quello che volete, lui è nato così.

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

Park Ranger: Welcome to Yellowstone Park.
Me: Thanks! *yells* OWSTONE PARK!

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

Waiter: *offering crudités* Savoury snack?
Me: Very snack.
Waiter: No, no... Raw vegetables!
Me: *roars* VEGETABLES!
bsky.app/profile/siro...

sirocyl @sirocyl.bsky.social · 5d

Train announcement: This station is Sayville.
Me: "Ville?"

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

Park Ranger: Welcome to Yellowstone Park.
Me: Thanks! *yells* OWSTONE PARK!

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

Park Ranger: Welcome to Yellowstone Park.
Me: Thanks! *yells* OWSTONE PARK!

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

This makes me imagine that you're introducing me to the messiah.

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

- Say what you like about ET - The Extraterrestrial, he was born that way.
- Innate alien?
- Di ET - L'extraterrestre potete dire quello che volete, lui è nato così.

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

I can't believe I got sacked for throwing shade at people. Though I never wanted to work in a light fitting shop anyway.

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 5d

Word is that Barbie’s sleep-deprived, vengeful and she's run out of firewood. She’s been burning the Ken doll at both ends.

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · Nov 15

I'm running a Beatles pun contest, and I'm getting Paul McCartney to heyjudicate.

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Reposted by Paul Eggleston

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · Sep 3

I've just mushed up a load of Frosties and milk into a paste and used it to fill the gaps between my tiles. They're Grrrrrrrout!

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Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 7d

I feel like I might have somehow annoyed the Statue of Liberty when I climbed up to her summit carrying a sleeping bag a few weeks ago. I've been living rent-free in her head ever since.

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