Do you ever wonder if the term "shit eating grin" comes from the fact that if you eat poop you realize it tastes really good, and now you're in on the secret?

My favorite part of drunkenly talking to people on the phone is when the conversation ends at 6am with the phrase "my whole day is ruined"

This is my rule for drinking in DND. You get a temporary +3 to your charisma, but disadvantage when speaking to a sober person.

Example: You can easily convince another drunk person to buy you a drink, but you have a way harder time convincing your Uber driver to stop at Taco Bell on the way home.

If you don't see the problem in handing the wealthiest man in the world access to the keys to the Treasury Department then I feel sorry for you. I can't imagine the stink having your head shoved that far up your ass.

I feel weird not having anything posted on here yet. Like an awkward silence... So here's a picture of a bird.