Hate having to devein shrimp. Would it kill them to douche
November 2, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Hate having to devein shrimp. Would it kill them to douche
Does biweekly mean twice a week or once a year on bisexual awareness week
September 28, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Does biweekly mean twice a week or once a year on bisexual awareness week
Indoor skydiving costs $90 for 2 minutes?? I once paid $4 to go in a tanning bed for 8 minutes. LIKE this if you think it should always cost the same to go inside a machine!!!
September 26, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Indoor skydiving costs $90 for 2 minutes?? I once paid $4 to go in a tanning bed for 8 minutes. LIKE this if you think it should always cost the same to go inside a machine!!!
Since autumn has a cutesy nickname the other seasons should, too: wither, sprout, scorch
September 26, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Since autumn has a cutesy nickname the other seasons should, too: wither, sprout, scorch
Teachers serving pie on 3/14 was fun and all but if mathematicians discover a new number they should name it chikenstripsandfries
September 26, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Teachers serving pie on 3/14 was fun and all but if mathematicians discover a new number they should name it chikenstripsandfries
The body is tea but the face is yerba mate
September 8, 2025 at 8:33 PM
The body is tea but the face is yerba mate
You can’t flush toilet paper in Greece but they never said you couldn’t stuff it down the sink
August 19, 2025 at 10:02 AM
You can’t flush toilet paper in Greece but they never said you couldn’t stuff it down the sink
Does “special sauce” denote a particular family of sauces (like barbecue sauce) or is every restaurant’s special sauce uniquely special
August 15, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Does “special sauce” denote a particular family of sauces (like barbecue sauce) or is every restaurant’s special sauce uniquely special
Blood on the Clocktower is funny because I’ve never been so blasted that I thought I was a washerwoman
August 11, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Blood on the Clocktower is funny because I’ve never been so blasted that I thought I was a washerwoman
I asked my server “what do you recommend between the jerk chicken and the rasta pasta” and she said “well are you in the mood for chicken or for pasta”
July 12, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I asked my server “what do you recommend between the jerk chicken and the rasta pasta” and she said “well are you in the mood for chicken or for pasta”
If you get chemicals in your eyes you’re supposed to flush them with clean water for 15 minutes? Girl the drought
July 6, 2025 at 10:04 PM
If you get chemicals in your eyes you’re supposed to flush them with clean water for 15 minutes? Girl the drought
Friday night ❌
Frinight ✅
Frinight ✅
June 17, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Friday night ❌
Frinight ✅
Frinight ✅
Does anyone actually unironically use the word “santorum”
June 15, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Does anyone actually unironically use the word “santorum”
If I were a singer my first album would be called Greatest Hits
May 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
If I were a singer my first album would be called Greatest Hits
Drag king name Justin Ordinary-Dude
May 12, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Drag king name Justin Ordinary-Dude
In lieu of flowers the family requests tasteful nudes with good lighting
April 29, 2025 at 7:32 PM
In lieu of flowers the family requests tasteful nudes with good lighting
I wrote the “We all have a story to tell” intro so it was fun to say it on the show and troll Vic in different small ways because I’ve known them for a very long time. When they set up my rap I was similarly throwing to whacky stuff of Vic on the monitor but those became too complicated to shoot
March 30, 2025 at 2:09 AM
I wrote the “We all have a story to tell” intro so it was fun to say it on the show and troll Vic in different small ways because I’ve known them for a very long time. When they set up my rap I was similarly throwing to whacky stuff of Vic on the monitor but those became too complicated to shoot
Reposted by Paul Robalino
been looking forward to this episode for almost a month and it was worth it. i wish linkin park was real
March 28, 2025 at 1:33 AM
been looking forward to this episode for almost a month and it was worth it. i wish linkin park was real
What if it were spelled “munky”
March 22, 2025 at 7:59 PM
What if it were spelled “munky”
Why are drag queens the only ones who can adopt and raise career “daughters.” I want an improv son
March 15, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Why are drag queens the only ones who can adopt and raise career “daughters.” I want an improv son
Hope I’m invited to SNL 100
February 19, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Hope I’m invited to SNL 100
Nice to meet you too. I’m a comedy writer. No not standup. More like TV. Well it’s all online. Digital content yeah. I’m not sure if you’d know it. You may have seen clips on TikTok or… well it’s like game shows and stuff. Right. Yeah not like scripts or movies. It used to be called CollegeHumor.
February 15, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Nice to meet you too. I’m a comedy writer. No not standup. More like TV. Well it’s all online. Digital content yeah. I’m not sure if you’d know it. You may have seen clips on TikTok or… well it’s like game shows and stuff. Right. Yeah not like scripts or movies. It used to be called CollegeHumor.
Some cities botched “Everybody on Mute” so with CC Tour coming I need everyone on their a-game for the “Throw Your Keys Up” Challenge
February 10, 2025 at 6:31 AM
Some cities botched “Everybody on Mute” so with CC Tour coming I need everyone on their a-game for the “Throw Your Keys Up” Challenge
If infinite realities exist that means there’s a timeline where I make $400k salary eating Theo James’s ass full time
a woman is screaming with her hands in the air in a crowd .
ALT: a woman is screaming with her hands in the air in a crowd .
media.tenor.com
January 28, 2025 at 8:18 PM
If infinite realities exist that means there’s a timeline where I make $400k salary eating Theo James’s ass full time
I feel like you gotta pick just one. Are you my rich BFF or are you my favorite Wall Street girly
January 23, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I feel like you gotta pick just one. Are you my rich BFF or are you my favorite Wall Street girly