Paul Tonkinson
paultonkinson.bsky.social
Paul Tonkinson
@paultonkinson.bsky.social
Autistic or an idiot? Nope, how dare you? I'm both.
I generally use this place to throw some thoughts that amused me.

But, sometimes I just want to say how incredible my wife is. She's so smart, kind, talented, and fit as owt. My best human.
March 9, 2025 at 8:05 PM
If I spoke about myself in the third person, could my pronouns be my actual name?

Genuine question, not any kind of gender 'gotcha' or piss take.
March 8, 2025 at 11:21 PM
My wife bought microwave burgers for lazy lunches. She got the kind without cheese slices, as we already have packs of cheese slices. She then ate all the cheese...
March 8, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Got to mourn on Tuesday. Sadness over batter mix used to make pancakes instead of Yorkshire Puddings. A true tragedy of our time
March 2, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I had less shower gel in the bottle than expected, so I had to finish by bottom half with some of my wife's.

Top half Lynx Africa, bottom half Lush's Snow Fairy.

It's a confusing mixture.
February 28, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I'm watching 1883, the Yellowstone prequel. It has a warning for product placement.

What the Hell have they got I could buy now? Cola with cocaine? Shitty rifles? Hookers with multiple stds?

To be fair, it's do live near Rotherham, so all are possible.
February 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I broke wind. The dog looked at me in disgust, and then did the smelliest fart in history.
Out winded by a small dog.
February 22, 2025 at 8:18 PM
We got a new hand sanitizer at work a few weeks back. It smelt far too like some of the beers I have enjoyed for me to be entirely happy.
February 17, 2025 at 2:33 PM
I enjoyed the Barbie film, but I don't understand why Trumps renaming the Gulf of Mexico after America Ferrera
February 16, 2025 at 6:31 PM
I'm 44 years old and still struggle with child proof caps on medicine. I didn't realise they worked on mental/emotional age too.
February 16, 2025 at 9:31 AM
I'd love to watch Muppets Harry Potter. Gonzo would be an incredible Snape.
February 15, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Parsley on my waffles and beans, because I'm watching Hells Kitchen and don't want to be shouted at because of my lack of seasonings.
February 12, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Watching Hells Kitchen, and I don't care how childish it is that I'm laughing every time @gordonramsay0.bsky.social says he's desperate to get his scampi out.
February 12, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Would a beaver steak count as a full 'surf n turf'?
February 12, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Either my dog or my wife has started peeing on the carpet during the night. She claims it's the dog, but she always seems to have a poo bag to hand, so I am wondering...
February 11, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Well. Here I am I guess. Not that I ever used the other place, but I don't want to give any clicks or views to the Nazi scumbag.
February 8, 2025 at 4:51 PM