Richard Scott
@peanutgallerycomix.bsky.social
Founder of Peanut Gallery Comics. Writer, cartoonist, songwriter, comedian.
Pinned
My latest cartoon collection is available at the Barnes and Noble website. I hear things about it. Good things. You should get.
I keep being told that the gray in my hair makes me look dignified. For a guy with this much dignity, I sure laugh at a lot of fart jokes.
January 7, 2026 at 12:54 PM
I keep being told that the gray in my hair makes me look dignified. For a guy with this much dignity, I sure laugh at a lot of fart jokes.
"Impeach the motherfucker." You know, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that could poison the public discourse. At least, that's what I heard from the cripple-mocking, Nazi-loving pussy-grabber.
January 4, 2026 at 6:38 PM
"Impeach the motherfucker." You know, this is exactly the kind of rhetoric that could poison the public discourse. At least, that's what I heard from the cripple-mocking, Nazi-loving pussy-grabber.
A question I have to ask multiple times a week.
January 4, 2026 at 3:16 PM
A question I have to ask multiple times a week.
I've been saying this for years. Mainly because many of the most notably dumb guys I've met were named Dave.
January 2, 2026 at 8:30 AM
I've been saying this for years. Mainly because many of the most notably dumb guys I've met were named Dave.
My resolution is to give up binge-drinking. But because I follow the Chinese calendar, I don't have to stop until the Year of the Horse.
January 2, 2026 at 3:54 AM
My resolution is to give up binge-drinking. But because I follow the Chinese calendar, I don't have to stop until the Year of the Horse.
Happy New Year to my friends and supporters. Well, to most of you, anyway. And a couple of you get only a happy February, September, and parts of April. You know who you are and what you did.
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 AM
Happy New Year to my friends and supporters. Well, to most of you, anyway. And a couple of you get only a happy February, September, and parts of April. You know who you are and what you did.
Ugh! Same problem every January 1st: Where to store all my old "Shirtless Jack Klugman" calendars.
January 2, 2026 at 3:52 AM
Ugh! Same problem every January 1st: Where to store all my old "Shirtless Jack Klugman" calendars.
"New year, new you!" Well, the "new" me appears to be grayer, wrinklier, and gassier.
January 2, 2026 at 3:51 AM
"New year, new you!" Well, the "new" me appears to be grayer, wrinklier, and gassier.
"Slumberland is open on New Year's Day!" Oh, thank heavens. My resolution was to have the dullest shopping day ever.
January 2, 2026 at 3:51 AM
"Slumberland is open on New Year's Day!" Oh, thank heavens. My resolution was to have the dullest shopping day ever.
See my Top 10 New Year's resolutions! You simply won't believe #8!
(It's to avoid clickbait.)
(It's to avoid clickbait.)
January 2, 2026 at 3:50 AM
See my Top 10 New Year's resolutions! You simply won't believe #8!
(It's to avoid clickbait.)
(It's to avoid clickbait.)
You like Detective Comics (minus Batman, of course)? Then check out this piece from 2008. My ode to the greatest line of dialogue in DC history. youtu.be/p9EeZWMxFMU?...
And Now...the FRUIT!
YouTube video by PeanutGalleryComics
youtu.be
December 30, 2025 at 8:40 AM
You like Detective Comics (minus Batman, of course)? Then check out this piece from 2008. My ode to the greatest line of dialogue in DC history. youtu.be/p9EeZWMxFMU?...
Today is the day that I spend drinking egg nog and curling up in front of the fireplace. And by "egg nog," I mean liquor. And by "fireplace," I mean porn sites.
December 25, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Today is the day that I spend drinking egg nog and curling up in front of the fireplace. And by "egg nog," I mean liquor. And by "fireplace," I mean porn sites.
The good news is that I found no coal in my Christmas stocking. The bad news is that I learned where Santa stores all his reindeer poop.
December 25, 2025 at 9:35 PM
The good news is that I found no coal in my Christmas stocking. The bad news is that I learned where Santa stores all his reindeer poop.
I don't celebrate any holiday on this day, but for those of you who do, please enjoy this Day of Shitty Television Specials.
December 25, 2025 at 9:34 PM
I don't celebrate any holiday on this day, but for those of you who do, please enjoy this Day of Shitty Television Specials.
As Christmas specials go, "Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk" is pretty terrible.
December 25, 2025 at 9:33 PM
As Christmas specials go, "Ultimate Wolverine Vs. Hulk" is pretty terrible.
So this is Christmas. And what have I done?
No, seriously, what have I done?! There's blood everywhere!!
No, seriously, what have I done?! There's blood everywhere!!
December 25, 2025 at 9:33 PM
So this is Christmas. And what have I done?
No, seriously, what have I done?! There's blood everywhere!!
No, seriously, what have I done?! There's blood everywhere!!
If anyone's wondering what Xmas carols Krampus sings, they're the same ones but in German.
December 25, 2025 at 9:32 PM
If anyone's wondering what Xmas carols Krampus sings, they're the same ones but in German.
Well, I finally got visited by the fat bearded man, coming down my chimney with his bellyful of jelly. Unfortunately, it was just Randy Quaid, and all he did was steal my TV and take a shit in the sink.
December 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Well, I finally got visited by the fat bearded man, coming down my chimney with his bellyful of jelly. Unfortunately, it was just Randy Quaid, and all he did was steal my TV and take a shit in the sink.
It would be un-Christian of me to hope that Diaper Don chokes on a chicken bone this Xmas. Fortunately, I'm not Christian. And neither is he.
December 24, 2025 at 6:14 AM
It would be un-Christian of me to hope that Diaper Don chokes on a chicken bone this Xmas. Fortunately, I'm not Christian. And neither is he.
Would I be Santa Claus? Let's see: Work 1 day of the year? Check. Obesity problem seen as an endearing character trait instead of a personal failing or serious medical condition? Check. Only downside is that Mrs. Claus' boobs have got to be sagging so much they bang elves on the head left and right.
December 23, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Would I be Santa Claus? Let's see: Work 1 day of the year? Check. Obesity problem seen as an endearing character trait instead of a personal failing or serious medical condition? Check. Only downside is that Mrs. Claus' boobs have got to be sagging so much they bang elves on the head left and right.
Spam email: "Beautiful women want to hear from YOU!"
True, but first they want to hear my credit card number.
True, but first they want to hear my credit card number.
December 23, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Spam email: "Beautiful women want to hear from YOU!"
True, but first they want to hear my credit card number.
True, but first they want to hear my credit card number.
I looked up a woman that I found attractive in high school. I saw her Facebook profile and thought, "Wow, she still looks great!" Then I realized, "Oh, that's her daughter, standing next to that mummy smoking a cigarette."
December 16, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I looked up a woman that I found attractive in high school. I saw her Facebook profile and thought, "Wow, she still looks great!" Then I realized, "Oh, that's her daughter, standing next to that mummy smoking a cigarette."
Remember when Marjorie Taylor Greene said we can now buy dildos and butt plugs at Target? She said it like it was a bad thing. But I'm more skeptical that she's ever shopped at a place as fancy as Target. Even Wal-Mart shoppers look at her and think, "Who let her kind in here?"
December 15, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Remember when Marjorie Taylor Greene said we can now buy dildos and butt plugs at Target? She said it like it was a bad thing. But I'm more skeptical that she's ever shopped at a place as fancy as Target. Even Wal-Mart shoppers look at her and think, "Who let her kind in here?"
I'd get to work sooner if it weren't for all these damn speed bumps--or, as the traffic cop calls them, "pedestrians." #drivingtips
December 12, 2025 at 9:13 PM
I'd get to work sooner if it weren't for all these damn speed bumps--or, as the traffic cop calls them, "pedestrians." #drivingtips
Naked And Moist is a good indie band name.
December 11, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Naked And Moist is a good indie band name.