idea: female pop singer who’s a fat fuck named “Larde”

all you Monday Morning Quarterbacks still complaining about people not voting (either at all or for the Wrong Guy) need to shut up

vegans will say some shit like “i can’t eat that, i would never in my life harm an animal!” and then go home and crank the FUCK outta their Hog

my hot take of the night is that there are a lot of things out there that i am, in fact, Not A Big Fan Of

no one would be doing anything if it weren't for aphex twin

thinking about that time i got suspended when i was 10 because some kid whose first name was "tony" but last name wasn't "hawk" came to school one day all like "hey guys... didn't you know? i'm tony hawk!!!" and when i said no you're not he started crying and ran to the principal's office

why dont any rappers use this

who should i follow on here so that my default feed isn’t just guys with glasses and beards talking about you already know what

i wonder which laptop she wrote this on

if an ICE agent comes up to me and asks for my help i’m gonna unhinge my jaw clap my hands together and say “if i do will there be for me the CANDY???” in exactly the voice you’re imagining

this is just twitter for people who never did the “run the gauntlet” challenge at a fifth grader’s birthday party

january’s the most *EXTREMELY LOUD BUZZER MOMENTARILY MUTING ALL OTHER NOISES IN USER’S IMMEDIATE VICINITY SOUNDS WITHOUT WARNING* month fr

made an appointment today to go get orally probed by a doctor in two months because he apparently wants to Get To Know my insides Like That. hope he remembers to eat a bunch of pineapples the night before!

normalize using the word “probe” as a sexually connotative verb

why does everyone use proper capitalization here

new here. what’s spaceghostpurrp’s @???