Happy to be back and drawing a vtuber who kept me entertained while I was recovering 🦊🧡

This move is not approved by the American Pool Players Association*

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It's been an.. eventful past few days for me but.. I'm glad to be back 🩷

Thank you all, sincerely, for everything, I'm going to be strong for you all. I promise. 🩷

That's why I want to make things right and to be better. I *will* be posting art here soon for all of you finally, and while I cannot promise what comes next, I can promise you that I won't be going anywhere again, I want to be strong, for myself and for everyone that's supported me.

I don't want to use my struggles as an excuse, and I understand if some, due to how volatile my mental state truly is with the still high risk of another spiral and hiatus, do not wish to continue supporting me. Im sorry, deeply. This all is up to me to make things right, no one else.

I have also begun eating regularly again and gaining weight, experiencing some of the early positive changes seen from starting HRT, and slowly have been able to get back to feeling like myself again. My support structure knows about the state I am in, and are all active in ensuring that Im okay.

2 years worth, to help me in the process of getting better. Since the start of september I have been taking estradiol enanthate injections, and while I am not fully back to a stable mental state, and won't be due to underlying issues, I am better off than I had been in those few months.

experiencing some of the worst gender dysphoria, that i had felt up to that point, worsening everything further, and I would have relapsed if not for the intervention of onenof my closest friends. Jay, knowing that i was struggling with my mental health, went out of her way to pay for me to get HRT

At the lowest point of my spiral, in mid august, I weighted just 83 pounds, down for 105 in June. During this time of supervision and recovery, I attempted to distract myself by drawing. I tried to go back into a routine, to put on a happy face but i just couldnt, I had been close to relapsing again

then had to be placed under the supervision of a guardian, my sister, to ensure that i would not harm myself in any way. This is the true nature of all those times previously before this forced hiatus where I was spending long periods at my sisters without updates, it was for my mental health.

barely eating if at all, and in these 6 months I had to be admitted into the hospital for a mental health hold and screening due to the state I was in, and was deemed to be at risk. I was held for almost a week, half of which were with no electronics access

For those who have seen my irl photos you know that I am very skinny, this is not just due to genetics, its due to something ive never discussed with anyone outside of my family. I suffer from anorexia, when in states of depression or anxiety, both of which i suffer from, tied to my gender dysphoria

This all was a spiral 3 years in the making. Ongoing legal troubles with my parents, dysphoria, and resurfaced trauma all made mental health issues ive been dealing with since i was 16 far worse, leading to a spiral that was only stopped by the close friends, family, and medical professionals.

Subscribe Star supporters have access to an *EXCLUSIVE* follow up piece as well!

Available here! : subscribestar.adult/posts/1761525

yippieee!!

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