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pete.social
Pete.
@pete.social
1K followers 550 following 3.2K posts
Chicagoish | Eagle Scout | Seeking Dopamine 🍕 | 🍔 | 🏎️💨 | ✏️ | 🖊️ | 📓 | 🛠️ | 🧰
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · Nov 12
Disclaimer: I repair toilets for a living and spit out hot takes for Dopamine hits. Like my work, I am largely full of shit. Consume at your own risk.

If you’re following me, I’ll follow you back when the ADHD Paralysis cools off.

🦆💨
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 1d
“The Conservative Justices Don’t Trust Any Science” would have also worked as a headline.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 1d
Goddammit, I forgot about these no-talent assclowns…
pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 1d
You’re*
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 1d
Huh. Did Newsom’s comms team decide to jump ship?
pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 1d
Sadly, they lack self-awareness.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 1d
We must find him.

And make him do a kickflip.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Coalition of the Bill[ing]
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Chemical A0-3959X.91 – 15?

Straight out of the airlock with this one, no EVA suit!
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
That alternately reality exists.

It’s Canada. 🇨🇦
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Just don’t tell any users that they were training Niantic’s AI to better utilize automated munitions in urban areas.

Gotta catch ‘em all! 🎉
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Ms. Weiss:

Are you seeking a deputy editor who was once ostracized by The [Failing] New York Times for being a fan of Chick-fil-A? The answer is likely yes. Please see my enclosed resume.

- Adam Rubeinstein
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Andrew Card whispering, “We call them skeets.” In to President George W. Bush’s ear.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Thirty years later and this guy is still bitter about wrongly backing the USFL.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Just when we thought America couldn’t be outdone…

Cadillac Hertz Ford Mach-E GT-H Team Dunkin’ Donuts, Powered by The Starbucks Rich Energy Refresher.

Each time Sonny Hayes puts a mid pack driver in the wall, Dunkin’ will give each customer an official Black & Gold Cadillac F1 Team Donut.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Reintroduce Nextel Direct Connect™️ to America.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
“Hollywood is so drowning in mediocrity that I’ve been forced to watch my late brother’s films!”
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 2d
Spread this far and wide.
meganpiont.bsky.social
Megan Piontkowski illustration @meganpiont.bsky.social · 6d
"How to Report ICE" 10/2:

Buffalo, CA, Chicago, CO, DC Metro, DE, FL, Indianapolis, KC Metro, MD, MA, NC Triangle, much of NJ, NM, NYC, Phoenix, Philly, Pittsburgh, Portland OR, RI, Rochester NY, St. Louis Metro, St. Peter & Mankato MN, VA, WI, WY

San Francisco in Spanish

tinyurl.com/mupyyr2x
Aloe plant "reading" a "How to Report ICE" zine.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 3d
No one around here can get the spices right. They’re better off where they are.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 3d
You want rest!? THREE DOLLARS!!
unmitigatedgaul1.bsky.social
OG Unmitigated Gaul @unmitigatedgaul1.bsky.social · 3d
🤣🤣
No poop for you!
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 3d
We must be reminded that expertise is dead, and that he wrote a book about it.

Somewhat Tapperesque, really.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 3d
I am reminded of the scene from The Big Lebowski when Brant is walking The Dude through Mr. Lebowski’s house and waxing about his honorary degrees, etc…
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 3d
The guy from MySpace
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 4d
[checks resume] Florida State University grad. Sounds about right.
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pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 4d
Low-Rent Travis Bickle, seen walking from the office.
pete.social
Pete. @pete.social · 4d
The conversion is heteroflexible.
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