Where can you go swimming but only because a shadowy government agency has made you? The conspira-sea.

What did the King bring to the S&M party? His Royal Harness.

If a submarine is made perfectly to its usual design, is it still considered substandard?

When you’re invited to an Open Mic, there are so many options. You could be going to comedy, music, an autopsy or just to meet a very emotionally available guy.

When my N64 finally died I was unconsolable.

I shall go on, for tomorrow is national go on day and everyone at work is doing it

How many light bulbs does it take to change the structure of a joke?

I’m going to start a French 80’s hair metal band called ‘Bonjour-vi.’

“Romeo, Romeo, where fart thou Romeo?”

What is the worst sea to swim in? The leprosy.

Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. Give a man a rod and he can eat for a lifetime. Give a man Rod Stewart and the police become involved.