I lived in Moscow for 7 years and it tracks that these yahoos are associated with the Logos School (and if they're associated with Logos, they're almost definitely associated with Christ Church and New Saint Andrews—basically christofascists)

Right?!

I’ve been researching Canadian tech services to replace American companies like Kickstarter, MailChimp, etc… so it’s great to add Helcim to my list.

6. If you're a small- or medium- size Canadian business "transitioned" to Global by your credit union, read your monthly statement very, very carefully, & if you don't like what you see there, know that you have options! You're not stuck in the business equivalent of an abusive marriage for life.

5. Global Payments is the worst "business partner" I've had in 25.5 years of business. I would not recommend their predatory pricing and unresponsive so-called customer service to my worst enemy.

4. Our new processor, Helcim, is a Canadian company from Calgary. They might not be right for everyone, but they're a godsend for us.

Our monthly Helcim fees are ***85% less*** than they were with Global.

Consequence: no price increases at PFB in 2026!

3. Long story short, we broke up with them. Global Payments makes it hard to exit their toxic ecosystem, even after returning all equipment and signed paperwork. They drag their heels. Their "retention specialist" ignores emails til you email multiple times a day. Meanwhile, fees, fees, fees!

2. My audit of our Global bill revealed that their ever-proliferating mystery fees & line items were between 2x and 3x our actual credit card discount rate...& increasing at 10% to 15% annually. Unsustainable!

The marshmallow test, but for presidents.