@phishytacos.bsky.social
Portrait of my boyfriend as a gum machine in his primary school play
December 22, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Portrait of my boyfriend as a gum machine in his primary school play
Dyslexic Hitchcock be like: "Dial...M? For Murder!"
December 22, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Dyslexic Hitchcock be like: "Dial...M? For Murder!"
Christmas pints with the boys and walking home, friend is blasting Hamilton from his phone. That's not on is it pal
December 21, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Christmas pints with the boys and walking home, friend is blasting Hamilton from his phone. That's not on is it pal
I despise patient confidentiality solely because there are so many funny names and I gotta keep that to myself
December 19, 2025 at 11:33 AM
I despise patient confidentiality solely because there are so many funny names and I gotta keep that to myself
You're a real cunt, mister Grinch
December 15, 2025 at 2:56 PM
You're a real cunt, mister Grinch
Favourite type of Spotify playlist has to be:
"[music genre] playlist" 😄
and right below it:
"ACTUAL [music genre] playlist" 😐🖕
"[music genre] playlist" 😄
and right below it:
"ACTUAL [music genre] playlist" 😐🖕
November 12, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Favourite type of Spotify playlist has to be:
"[music genre] playlist" 😄
and right below it:
"ACTUAL [music genre] playlist" 😐🖕
"[music genre] playlist" 😄
and right below it:
"ACTUAL [music genre] playlist" 😐🖕
Just saw an Instagram comment claiming Columbus was Jewish (that's why he was evil), that's my fault for scrolling at 2am
People really just say anything now
People really just say anything now
November 12, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Just saw an Instagram comment claiming Columbus was Jewish (that's why he was evil), that's my fault for scrolling at 2am
People really just say anything now
People really just say anything now
JUNGLE IS MASSIVE!!!
JUNGLE IS LARGE!!!
JUNGLE IS AVERAGE!!!
JUNGLE IS RE-EVALUATING SOME ISSUES AROUND SELF-PERCEPTION AND THE WIDER CULTURE!!!
JUNGLE IS LARGE!!!
JUNGLE IS AVERAGE!!!
JUNGLE IS RE-EVALUATING SOME ISSUES AROUND SELF-PERCEPTION AND THE WIDER CULTURE!!!
November 7, 2025 at 3:30 PM
JUNGLE IS MASSIVE!!!
JUNGLE IS LARGE!!!
JUNGLE IS AVERAGE!!!
JUNGLE IS RE-EVALUATING SOME ISSUES AROUND SELF-PERCEPTION AND THE WIDER CULTURE!!!
JUNGLE IS LARGE!!!
JUNGLE IS AVERAGE!!!
JUNGLE IS RE-EVALUATING SOME ISSUES AROUND SELF-PERCEPTION AND THE WIDER CULTURE!!!
Great moment last night in which boyfriend said "how long does a shot last on hells kitchen" and we began counting manically in unison the shot lengths and it devolved into just yelling "1, 1, 1...2!!! 1, 1"
September 12, 2025 at 8:06 AM
Great moment last night in which boyfriend said "how long does a shot last on hells kitchen" and we began counting manically in unison the shot lengths and it devolved into just yelling "1, 1, 1...2!!! 1, 1"
If I was Charlie Kirk I simply wouldn't have allowed that to happen to me
September 11, 2025 at 11:52 PM
If I was Charlie Kirk I simply wouldn't have allowed that to happen to me
I don't think anyone else is saying it but I think it's really selfish of Charlie Kirk to die just before 9/11 - way to steal attention away from an important anniversary
September 11, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I don't think anyone else is saying it but I think it's really selfish of Charlie Kirk to die just before 9/11 - way to steal attention away from an important anniversary
5 is the only odd number I trust implicitly
September 9, 2025 at 5:30 PM
5 is the only odd number I trust implicitly
There's a monkey man in Llandudno
The Llandudno Monkey Man
The Llandudno Monkey Man
September 4, 2025 at 10:19 PM
There's a monkey man in Llandudno
The Llandudno Monkey Man
The Llandudno Monkey Man
Long covid but it's wide covid and it just makes you wide
September 1, 2025 at 10:03 AM
Long covid but it's wide covid and it just makes you wide
Nothing makes you lose the will to live faster than receiving a notification to say your payment for Microsoft 365 has gone out
September 1, 2025 at 9:11 AM
Nothing makes you lose the will to live faster than receiving a notification to say your payment for Microsoft 365 has gone out
I painted the mona Lisa
Just so da vinki thought I was cool
Just so da vinki thought I was cool
August 29, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I painted the mona Lisa
Just so da vinki thought I was cool
Just so da vinki thought I was cool
Every Hells Kitchen:
Narrator: "Bingus is the only one holding his team together"
*Bingus looking sweatingly determined over a grill*
Narrator: "Bingus has made an unrepairable mistake - Chef Ramsey has punished his team accordingly by splashing them all with hot burning oil"
Narrator: "Bingus is the only one holding his team together"
*Bingus looking sweatingly determined over a grill*
Narrator: "Bingus has made an unrepairable mistake - Chef Ramsey has punished his team accordingly by splashing them all with hot burning oil"
August 25, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Every Hells Kitchen:
Narrator: "Bingus is the only one holding his team together"
*Bingus looking sweatingly determined over a grill*
Narrator: "Bingus has made an unrepairable mistake - Chef Ramsey has punished his team accordingly by splashing them all with hot burning oil"
Narrator: "Bingus is the only one holding his team together"
*Bingus looking sweatingly determined over a grill*
Narrator: "Bingus has made an unrepairable mistake - Chef Ramsey has punished his team accordingly by splashing them all with hot burning oil"
Potential wedding speech idea:
Hire a hype man just to yell really loudly through a mic "THIS AINT YOUR MOMMAS WEDDING SPEECH"
Also hold for applause, laughter, hooting, and hollering after every sentence
Hire a hype man just to yell really loudly through a mic "THIS AINT YOUR MOMMAS WEDDING SPEECH"
Also hold for applause, laughter, hooting, and hollering after every sentence
August 22, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Potential wedding speech idea:
Hire a hype man just to yell really loudly through a mic "THIS AINT YOUR MOMMAS WEDDING SPEECH"
Also hold for applause, laughter, hooting, and hollering after every sentence
Hire a hype man just to yell really loudly through a mic "THIS AINT YOUR MOMMAS WEDDING SPEECH"
Also hold for applause, laughter, hooting, and hollering after every sentence
Travelling back in time to stop Ryan Murphy from ever making Evan Peters wear the 'Normal People Scare Me' shirt
August 21, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Travelling back in time to stop Ryan Murphy from ever making Evan Peters wear the 'Normal People Scare Me' shirt
Okay but what if Trump had said "grab him by the pussy"
is this anything?
is this anything?
August 19, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Okay but what if Trump had said "grab him by the pussy"
is this anything?
is this anything?
Being properly medicated and getting really into Linkin Park in a way that's not a cry for help
August 10, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Being properly medicated and getting really into Linkin Park in a way that's not a cry for help
I think there should be a dentist who has nothing but big gold teeth and he just smiles a big gold smile over you whilst he operates
July 21, 2025 at 2:13 PM
I think there should be a dentist who has nothing but big gold teeth and he just smiles a big gold smile over you whilst he operates
Reposted
"get together and cry with the boys (sexual)"
July 11, 2025 at 8:27 AM
"get together and cry with the boys (sexual)"
Gay Rock Station:
"Gay Rock 98 FM, cumming at ya, one nation under COCK" ~eagle cry~lightning bolt~guitar riff~male moaning~
🦅⚡🎸😩
"Gay Rock 98 FM, cumming at ya, one nation under COCK" ~eagle cry~lightning bolt~guitar riff~male moaning~
🦅⚡🎸😩
July 1, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Gay Rock Station:
"Gay Rock 98 FM, cumming at ya, one nation under COCK" ~eagle cry~lightning bolt~guitar riff~male moaning~
🦅⚡🎸😩
"Gay Rock 98 FM, cumming at ya, one nation under COCK" ~eagle cry~lightning bolt~guitar riff~male moaning~
🦅⚡🎸😩
Foreign Affairs correspondent trying to break down the news to kids: "Israel has been acting really BRAT towards Iran. Or the other way around, whichever, both are BRAT"
June 29, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Foreign Affairs correspondent trying to break down the news to kids: "Israel has been acting really BRAT towards Iran. Or the other way around, whichever, both are BRAT"