sometimes it feels as if i should restrict myself and write something not in the "dead dove do not eat" category of kinkery if i'm doing this sorta stuff
dunno maybe i'll do some genderfuckery focused TF stuff i havent written much of that that might be fun
i can write positive happy chars i swear

But it's more fun to have reoccuring characters/reused characters people can grow attached to the personalities of.
It's just a pain in the bones.
Grumblemumble.

Cause, like, it's fine if it's a one off character, right? But then you want to reuse them, and then if it's been a while, you have to reread the whole thing you've written, get a bead on everything all over again.
But it's drugery. It's paperwork. I don't wanna. >:I

or maybe the fact that i like writing/making things and i envy the people that get to make video essays on their passions yet there is not a chance in hell i get to talk about the ins and outs of writing wholly weird erotic fiction on the tubes.

basically i just want a step by step walkthrough of how to write a fat juicy knot explaining the why of what features i want to include and emphasise and i aint gonna get that.

next time i rant about, i dunno, feeling like i gotta write dicking adjacent stuff half the time. grumble mumble

the graphic is like, important for people, i know that much. and i just have to kinda, wing that half. guess. its hard! i want to read a book explaining this shit rather than guesswork. i want a quick reference table for descriptions of different genitalia features. but finding that is; nada.

and like, that's a luxury of writing! you can lean into less visual ways of painting your eroticism; you can lean away from the innate detail of your scenes making physical/anatomical sense and abstract that away, because you can focus on the feeling, the experience. but still