Patrick Masterson
@pmmmasterson.bsky.social
In God we trust — all others pay cash.
cyberpunk trophy on the beach at sunset
November 11, 2025 at 6:00 PM
cyberpunk trophy on the beach at sunset
I don't know who among The Knees, Stuck or Deeper are most responsible, but every tall guy under the age of 28 is at Empty Bottle right now.
November 11, 2025 at 3:36 AM
I don't know who among The Knees, Stuck or Deeper are most responsible, but every tall guy under the age of 28 is at Empty Bottle right now.
In the 12 years since Dusted's move to Tumblr, I think my review of the new Irish Exit album is the only one to have been flagged with a content warning. See what the bots are hating on here.
Irish Exit — Tantrums in Tandem (Cropsey Records)
Even if you are the type of person not to overthink the notion that it should be “Irish goodbye” instead of “Irish exit” — not for nothing, but The Temple Bar can’t sufficiently resolve its origins —....
dustedmagazine.tumblr.com
November 10, 2025 at 10:23 PM
In the 12 years since Dusted's move to Tumblr, I think my review of the new Irish Exit album is the only one to have been flagged with a content warning. See what the bots are hating on here.
Genuinely cannot believe there's new Mssingno in the world and that it is, comfortingly, a Brandy flip. I still think about how great that Christmas Eve '16 Rinse set is from time to time. youtu.be/RtNdQC4Rg5A?...
Mssingno - Think Of Me
YouTube video by Mssingno M1
youtu.be
November 7, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Genuinely cannot believe there's new Mssingno in the world and that it is, comfortingly, a Brandy flip. I still think about how great that Christmas Eve '16 Rinse set is from time to time. youtu.be/RtNdQC4Rg5A?...
Blue Ford Fusion with "YHWH" taped in silver onto the back bumper
November 6, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Blue Ford Fusion with "YHWH" taped in silver onto the back bumper
Was just reminded of how I told some guy dressed as Winnie the Pooh at a bar on Saturday that "You're not in the Hundred-Acre Wood anymore, you're in the jungle now." Completely forgot the context.
November 4, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Was just reminded of how I told some guy dressed as Winnie the Pooh at a bar on Saturday that "You're not in the Hundred-Acre Wood anymore, you're in the jungle now." Completely forgot the context.
From America's Game of the Week to "America's Game of the Week"
November 2, 2025 at 9:41 PM
From America's Game of the Week to "America's Game of the Week"
Who the hell is this Steelers coach with the biggest wad of gum in his mouth I've ever seen?
November 2, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Who the hell is this Steelers coach with the biggest wad of gum in his mouth I've ever seen?
Just called out a guy on his Michael Schumacher Halloween costume for wearing a Pirelli hat when he should've had a Goodyear or Bridgestone hat.
November 2, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Just called out a guy on his Michael Schumacher Halloween costume for wearing a Pirelli hat when he should've had a Goodyear or Bridgestone hat.
You have entered a space not of time or sound or mind. What you have entered ... is The Patrick Zone.
November 2, 2025 at 3:41 AM
You have entered a space not of time or sound or mind. What you have entered ... is The Patrick Zone.
Whole bar's stressed and I'm out here asking about co-pays on dental for these guys
November 2, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Whole bar's stressed and I'm out here asking about co-pays on dental for these guys
YOU'RE OFF THE CASE WROBLESKI
November 2, 2025 at 1:06 AM
YOU'RE OFF THE CASE WROBLESKI
Awoke from a dream in which I was on a Russian oligarch's yacht where everyone around me was being called out in French but when the announcer got to me and couldn't ID me, I got up and started dancing obnoxiously to Ninajirachi and Daine's "It's You"
October 31, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Awoke from a dream in which I was on a Russian oligarch's yacht where everyone around me was being called out in French but when the announcer got to me and couldn't ID me, I got up and started dancing obnoxiously to Ninajirachi and Daine's "It's You"
It's gotten a lot harder for me writing about anything lately, but I managed some words for a quiet gem of the '00s and one of my favorite dance songs of the century. On the legacy of Stickydisc Recordings:
Babytalk, Watussi — Shaking Moving Dancing People: The Stickydisc Records Anthology (DFA)
Babytalk, Watussi - Babytalk - Keep On Move (Original Mix)
Somewhere amid the late-aughts haze that followed the imperial heights of their DFA Compilation #2 peak but before This Is Happening and the....
dustedmagazine.tumblr.com
October 29, 2025 at 6:30 PM
It's gotten a lot harder for me writing about anything lately, but I managed some words for a quiet gem of the '00s and one of my favorite dance songs of the century. On the legacy of Stickydisc Recordings:
Turns out that in Texas, they don't just call it Roadhouse.
October 25, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Turns out that in Texas, they don't just call it Roadhouse.
My friend and I assessing a family at tonight's show, please vote for the better pun:
Billy: The family that Beta Bands together Beta Stands together.
or
Me: The family that Beta Bands together Stayta Bands together.
Billy: The family that Beta Bands together Beta Stands together.
or
Me: The family that Beta Bands together Stayta Bands together.
October 24, 2025 at 6:23 AM
My friend and I assessing a family at tonight's show, please vote for the better pun:
Billy: The family that Beta Bands together Beta Stands together.
or
Me: The family that Beta Bands together Stayta Bands together.
Billy: The family that Beta Bands together Beta Stands together.
or
Me: The family that Beta Bands together Stayta Bands together.
There's no excuse for a misspelling on the first page of a Maggie Nelson book at this point. It's an unacceptable distraction that should never make it anywhere near print and everyone involved looks bad when it does.
October 22, 2025 at 9:41 PM
There's no excuse for a misspelling on the first page of a Maggie Nelson book at this point. It's an unacceptable distraction that should never make it anywhere near print and everyone involved looks bad when it does.
If you need a slab of good news amid the usual, Black Eyes has somehow returned after a 20-year hiatus looking like they never left. Lethal band, great new record I had to write about.
Black Eyes — Hostile Design (Dischord)
Black Eyes - Pestilence
Given the volatile nature of their original form and the subsequent pedigree of D.C.’s Black Eyes, suggesting a reunion at any point between their breakup ahead of 2004’s Cough...
dustedmagazine.tumblr.com
October 22, 2025 at 7:54 PM
If you need a slab of good news amid the usual, Black Eyes has somehow returned after a 20-year hiatus looking like they never left. Lethal band, great new record I had to write about.
What I learned tonight during the course of his performance is that every Petey USA song is about the Chicago Cubs except "The Milkman," which is about when the milkman bangs your wife.
October 22, 2025 at 3:06 AM
What I learned tonight during the course of his performance is that every Petey USA song is about the Chicago Cubs except "The Milkman," which is about when the milkman bangs your wife.
Kirby against Bieber is like watching "Face/Off" but it's ALCS Game 7.
October 21, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Kirby against Bieber is like watching "Face/Off" but it's ALCS Game 7.
Missed the best MotoGP race of the year for Indiana high school punk. Worth it, though.
October 19, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Missed the best MotoGP race of the year for Indiana high school punk. Worth it, though.
The "There Will Be Blood" of burlesque
October 18, 2025 at 8:23 PM
The "There Will Be Blood" of burlesque
"clowns and spiders coming out of people's mouths"
October 17, 2025 at 2:07 AM
"clowns and spiders coming out of people's mouths"
In Louisiana, it's geaux-karting.
October 12, 2025 at 5:24 PM
In Louisiana, it's geaux-karting.
People ask me why I don't get jet lag, and my answer is always the same: A lifetime of rooting for the Jets makes you too tired to care about timezones.
September 30, 2025 at 4:50 AM
People ask me why I don't get jet lag, and my answer is always the same: A lifetime of rooting for the Jets makes you too tired to care about timezones.