David
@porchjuice.bsky.social
“Place in matter and in
flesh the least of the values,
for these are the things that hold death
and must pass away.”
https://culturaclub.bandcamp.com
flesh the least of the values,
for these are the things that hold death
and must pass away.”
https://culturaclub.bandcamp.com
Hello ice agent in the future reviewing my tweets for Anti American sentiment, how you like this scent *Farts* take that you scrub
January 13, 2026 at 11:27 PM
Hello ice agent in the future reviewing my tweets for Anti American sentiment, how you like this scent *Farts* take that you scrub
Penpal by Dan Auerback is a masterpiece of horror, felt like there was an anvil on my chest for the last 40 pages
January 11, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Penpal by Dan Auerback is a masterpiece of horror, felt like there was an anvil on my chest for the last 40 pages
I have songs I sing to each of my dogs and cats so they feel special when we hang out, and ive been heartbroken since learning my dear cat, porchcat, is deaf, and she wont ever hear her special porchcat song ever again 😭
January 11, 2026 at 1:44 AM
I have songs I sing to each of my dogs and cats so they feel special when we hang out, and ive been heartbroken since learning my dear cat, porchcat, is deaf, and she wont ever hear her special porchcat song ever again 😭
we need to find some chimps and give them fire stat, I dont think humans have much longer until we completely bungle this thing of ours and we need to make sure something is around to take up the watch
January 9, 2026 at 9:11 PM
we need to find some chimps and give them fire stat, I dont think humans have much longer until we completely bungle this thing of ours and we need to make sure something is around to take up the watch
Make the song cry type beat
January 8, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Make the song cry type beat
A little sumthn sumthn
January 7, 2026 at 2:30 AM
A little sumthn sumthn
Nostalgia is the sister of trauma
January 1, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Nostalgia is the sister of trauma
Being fat is alot like being a vampire in the sense that, at a certain point, a steak will kill your ass
January 1, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Being fat is alot like being a vampire in the sense that, at a certain point, a steak will kill your ass
Growing up fat is like being a vampire in that you develop a complicated relationship with mirrors.
January 1, 2026 at 5:50 PM
Growing up fat is like being a vampire in that you develop a complicated relationship with mirrors.
Sometimes I wonder how people can smoke even though it makes you feel bad outside of the ten minutes you’re actively smoking and they constantly talk about wanting to quit,
but then I remember Ive deleted and then reinstalled instagram on my phone a dozen times in the past month
but then I remember Ive deleted and then reinstalled instagram on my phone a dozen times in the past month
January 1, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Sometimes I wonder how people can smoke even though it makes you feel bad outside of the ten minutes you’re actively smoking and they constantly talk about wanting to quit,
but then I remember Ive deleted and then reinstalled instagram on my phone a dozen times in the past month
but then I remember Ive deleted and then reinstalled instagram on my phone a dozen times in the past month
Everlasting gobstoppers sounds like something a British detective would say after solving a mystery
December 31, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Everlasting gobstoppers sounds like something a British detective would say after solving a mystery
Normalize virtue signaling for dudes that are 5’ 11” but never rounded up to 6 feet when telling someone their height, like its right there, only a inch away, totally reasonable to round up, but they don’t because they are men of principle, quietly bearing the burdens of an honest life, unsung heros
December 28, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Normalize virtue signaling for dudes that are 5’ 11” but never rounded up to 6 feet when telling someone their height, like its right there, only a inch away, totally reasonable to round up, but they don’t because they are men of principle, quietly bearing the burdens of an honest life, unsung heros
Nat Cassidy’s book ‘Mary’ is a masterpiece, that is one cold book writing son of a gun
December 22, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Nat Cassidy’s book ‘Mary’ is a masterpiece, that is one cold book writing son of a gun
Fun thanksgiving fact, cranberries will fucking explode covering you in boiling cranberry viscera if you cook them too fast in apple cider
November 26, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Fun thanksgiving fact, cranberries will fucking explode covering you in boiling cranberry viscera if you cook them too fast in apple cider
Me when I use the word ‘pastiche’ wrong in a reddit comment after trying to sound smarter than I am in a snarky art sub
November 24, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Me when I use the word ‘pastiche’ wrong in a reddit comment after trying to sound smarter than I am in a snarky art sub
Where does the time go, literally, once we experience the present, and that moment passes, where does it go? Does the past accumulate? Does it happen all at once and our brain rationalizes it by interpreting it moment by moment? in todays ted talk ill be discussing if modern weed may be too stro-
November 21, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Where does the time go, literally, once we experience the present, and that moment passes, where does it go? Does the past accumulate? Does it happen all at once and our brain rationalizes it by interpreting it moment by moment? in todays ted talk ill be discussing if modern weed may be too stro-
I cant reckon wether the vast alienation and loneliness I experience is the product of my age and just the way it goes, or if I have made a terrible error embracing my solitude in the years previous. Everyone I meet I don’t understand, the geography of mine own heart is unknown to me
October 27, 2025 at 4:01 PM
I cant reckon wether the vast alienation and loneliness I experience is the product of my age and just the way it goes, or if I have made a terrible error embracing my solitude in the years previous. Everyone I meet I don’t understand, the geography of mine own heart is unknown to me
2012 social media: a place to tarry about with close friends confiding in each other and connecting.
2025 social media: screaming myself hoarse into the uncaring unthinking and unfeeling void as bots try to sell me on AI generated scone recipes
2025 social media: screaming myself hoarse into the uncaring unthinking and unfeeling void as bots try to sell me on AI generated scone recipes
October 27, 2025 at 3:54 PM
2012 social media: a place to tarry about with close friends confiding in each other and connecting.
2025 social media: screaming myself hoarse into the uncaring unthinking and unfeeling void as bots try to sell me on AI generated scone recipes
2025 social media: screaming myself hoarse into the uncaring unthinking and unfeeling void as bots try to sell me on AI generated scone recipes
If I was an AI I would be a Zack Fox Tweet Sommelier, you show me a Zack Fox/Booty Math tweet Id tell u if it was pre musk buyout or summer of 2013, pre Trump or post Trump, sober or yakked. Yet here I am, mortal and earthbound with only my corpus of Zack Fox tweets and a mortgage. Jesus Wept
October 27, 2025 at 3:52 PM
If I was an AI I would be a Zack Fox Tweet Sommelier, you show me a Zack Fox/Booty Math tweet Id tell u if it was pre musk buyout or summer of 2013, pre Trump or post Trump, sober or yakked. Yet here I am, mortal and earthbound with only my corpus of Zack Fox tweets and a mortgage. Jesus Wept
“I USED TO TALK TO A STOVE” is the greatest rap adlib of all time,
2chainz must’ve been smoking that intergalactic dark matter in the studio when he said that
2chainz must’ve been smoking that intergalactic dark matter in the studio when he said that
July 3, 2025 at 9:07 PM
“I USED TO TALK TO A STOVE” is the greatest rap adlib of all time,
2chainz must’ve been smoking that intergalactic dark matter in the studio when he said that
2chainz must’ve been smoking that intergalactic dark matter in the studio when he said that
Hideo really put his whole Kojimussy into Death Stranding 2
June 26, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Hideo really put his whole Kojimussy into Death Stranding 2
I woke at the sight of the sun and prayed for rain
May 27, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I woke at the sight of the sun and prayed for rain
I would pay enormous sums of money to watch Cormac McCarthy in a scrabble tournament, I keep a running list of words from his books I didn’t recognize and homeboy’s word stash was Bathypelagic fr.
Ex:
Stook,
Bight,
Scree,
Quirt,
Stob,
Vadose,
Discalced,
Celerity
Ex:
Stook,
Bight,
Scree,
Quirt,
Stob,
Vadose,
Discalced,
Celerity
May 8, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I would pay enormous sums of money to watch Cormac McCarthy in a scrabble tournament, I keep a running list of words from his books I didn’t recognize and homeboy’s word stash was Bathypelagic fr.
Ex:
Stook,
Bight,
Scree,
Quirt,
Stob,
Vadose,
Discalced,
Celerity
Ex:
Stook,
Bight,
Scree,
Quirt,
Stob,
Vadose,
Discalced,
Celerity
Lucius Tarquinius Superbus, the Ohio State University
May 3, 2025 at 7:41 AM
Lucius Tarquinius Superbus, the Ohio State University
Ancient roman names are such a trip, how tf does someone look at a new born baby and think “yep thats a Maximinius Thrax if I ever seen one”
May 3, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Ancient roman names are such a trip, how tf does someone look at a new born baby and think “yep thats a Maximinius Thrax if I ever seen one”