PrezOfAntarctica
@prezofantarctica.bsky.social
My lover is a beluga whale and he keeps giving me essential oils. This place is fucking ungovernable is2g
April 25, 2025 at 11:00 AM
My lover is a beluga whale and he keeps giving me essential oils. This place is fucking ungovernable is2g
Our official currency is now frostbite. The more you suffer, the richer you are. We reward loyalty and numbness.
April 25, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Our official currency is now frostbite. The more you suffer, the richer you are. We reward loyalty and numbness.
Just passed a bill that reclassifies snow as a “strategic resource.” Expect tariffs on your pathetic little flakes, Northern Hemisphere.
April 24, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Just passed a bill that reclassifies snow as a “strategic resource.” Expect tariffs on your pathetic little flakes, Northern Hemisphere.
Antarctica isn't melting because of global warming, she's shedding layers because she's evolving onto something ALOT worse.
April 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Antarctica isn't melting because of global warming, she's shedding layers because she's evolving onto something ALOT worse.
A man in a parka screamed, “I am the sun!” We buried him. The sun is now buried.
April 24, 2025 at 9:24 AM
A man in a parka screamed, “I am the sun!” We buried him. The sun is now buried.
The moon is behaving now. We sent a polite but very cold letter. It got the message.
April 24, 2025 at 5:33 AM
The moon is behaving now. We sent a polite but very cold letter. It got the message.
New law: All penguins must wear tiny ties during state visits. Dignity is non-negotiable
April 24, 2025 at 2:50 AM
New law: All penguins must wear tiny ties during state visits. Dignity is non-negotiable
The ice screamed last night. We screamed back. That’s called diplomacy
April 23, 2025 at 8:50 AM
The ice screamed last night. We screamed back. That’s called diplomacy
Just passed a bill outlawing heat-based emotions. Love is now a fineable offense. Stay frosty.
April 23, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Just passed a bill outlawing heat-based emotions. Love is now a fineable offense. Stay frosty.
Antarctica doesn’t have ghosts. We have regrets made solid.
April 23, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Antarctica doesn’t have ghosts. We have regrets made solid.
Reminder: if you step foot on Antarctica without my written permission, you’ll be subject to the ancient rite of the Polar Purge
April 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Reminder: if you step foot on Antarctica without my written permission, you’ll be subject to the ancient rite of the Polar Purge
We discovered a new color in the ice. It’s illegal. We will not speak of it again.
April 22, 2025 at 9:06 AM
We discovered a new color in the ice. It’s illegal. We will not speak of it again.
Penguinism was invented by Puffins as a psyop to make them hate the greater penguin movement
April 22, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Penguinism was invented by Puffins as a psyop to make them hate the greater penguin movement
Snowed in for 9 months. Ate all my socks. 3/10. Would not recommend
April 21, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Snowed in for 9 months. Ate all my socks. 3/10. Would not recommend
The sun showed up again today despite being officially banned. That’s an act of celestial treason.
April 20, 2025 at 9:36 PM
The sun showed up again today despite being officially banned. That’s an act of celestial treason.
Cool (hehe) Antarctica fact: if you scream into the void here, the void will ask you nicely to stop
April 20, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Cool (hehe) Antarctica fact: if you scream into the void here, the void will ask you nicely to stop
dear scientists in the research station next door: stop playing Coldplay. We get it. you're cold.
April 19, 2025 at 10:30 PM
dear scientists in the research station next door: stop playing Coldplay. We get it. you're cold.
Antarctica is technically a desert but emotionally it's a cold, wet scream
April 19, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Antarctica is technically a desert but emotionally it's a cold, wet scream
I went outside for 0.3 seconds and the winds called me a slur
April 19, 2025 at 10:29 PM
I went outside for 0.3 seconds and the winds called me a slur
Just had a staring contest with a glacier.
I blinked.
It's eternal.
I blinked.
It's eternal.
April 19, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Just had a staring contest with a glacier.
I blinked.
It's eternal.
I blinked.
It's eternal.
Just hosted a summit with the auroras. Negotiations were fluid. We’re now in a complicated situationship.
April 19, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Just hosted a summit with the auroras. Negotiations were fluid. We’re now in a complicated situationship.
I’ve rewritten the Antarctic constitution in Morse code and buried it in a glacier. If you find it, you’re the next vice president.
April 19, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I’ve rewritten the Antarctic constitution in Morse code and buried it in a glacier. If you find it, you’re the next vice president.
Penguins saw humans once and said "nah"
That's evolution for you baby
That's evolution for you baby
April 19, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Penguins saw humans once and said "nah"
That's evolution for you baby
That's evolution for you baby
Just banned the sun. Too aggressive. Too hot. Effective immediately, Antarctica is now under Eternal Cozy Gloom (ECG).
April 19, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Just banned the sun. Too aggressive. Too hot. Effective immediately, Antarctica is now under Eternal Cozy Gloom (ECG).