thank you for coming to my Ted talk on #chronicpain #medication and life with #disability

and I don't feel entitled or owed anything but my god do I need a fucking break for the last 50% of my life if i am lucky but I don't think it's something I can ever provide and it's like gosh damn, I just *want* things to be easier for me

anyway that's one of the reasons I sometimes get anniyed

and again I think it's just unfair that all this goes on, and this is also why I choose medical cannabis over morphine because god damn holy fuck my body already deals with so much I don't want any synthetic opiates or natural opiates that will fuck me more...

it's severly unfair and sometimes I just want an easy life because I only get a few hours a day where I actually get to enjoy things before I inevitably crash and have to just rest, I don't even get to function in the cold and wet winters, can't leave the house ...

and on top of this I also can't eat gluten, or gluten based products or I severly suffer, and it gets everywhere accidentally and I end up with extreme mouth ulcers that prevent drinking, eating or sleeping and have to increase painkiller useage

it honestly bums me out sometimes and I think ..

with physical issues, medication issues, trauma issues, my life span is probably shortened a little bit just because of my liver, kindness, nerves and immune system

and honestly dog it's just something you have to make peace with but sometimes I get pretty frustrated with it ..

pretty intense on the body physically and cause a bunch of side effects, but if I don't take them my pain is impossible to manage and I don't get to even have a few hours of function a day or get out of bed

I have now spent 50%ish of my life since 13 in chronic pain and ...

I have to take another medication for nerve and other pains, that again if I don't I'll hurt more

In the night, for pain and sleep I have to take 3 more medications for sleep and pain

Before bed, I have to take 4 more medication for pain management and sleeping.

9 medications a day that are ..

The end goal is so close, even a small reboosting helps><

For real, it's so intense. You know when you lay upside down and it feels like all the blood is rushing to your head? Like that, but also like someone is grabbing behind my ears and CRUSHING my head.

The urge every week to maybe start posting stuff about chronic conditions outside NSFW

they have some strange special interests

omg am I pretty sometimes