Probosu
@probosu.bsky.social
Not so private private thoughts on a dead app
My mistake will haunt me forever
November 18, 2025 at 3:53 PM
My mistake will haunt me forever
When the voice in my head sounds just like yours, will you ever fade away along with the ache in my chest?
August 22, 2025 at 7:12 AM
When the voice in my head sounds just like yours, will you ever fade away along with the ache in my chest?
I don't have time or space to cope, to breathe. So much expectations, so much pressure, so much that I can't bear. I'm tired.
August 4, 2025 at 6:32 PM
I don't have time or space to cope, to breathe. So much expectations, so much pressure, so much that I can't bear. I'm tired.
At least you're happier that's all that matters. I think I'll find mine someday too. I hope so.
August 4, 2025 at 6:14 PM
At least you're happier that's all that matters. I think I'll find mine someday too. I hope so.
Why couldn't we work things out then? Why must the decisions we make be so cruel?
August 4, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Why couldn't we work things out then? Why must the decisions we make be so cruel?
I realised I can never look at anything Japanese without the thought of you. I can never look at fireworks and not think of you. I can never imagine travelling there without you. Practically things I grew up with I've always wanted to share with you. Now I can't. And I hate it.
August 4, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I realised I can never look at anything Japanese without the thought of you. I can never look at fireworks and not think of you. I can never imagine travelling there without you. Practically things I grew up with I've always wanted to share with you. Now I can't. And I hate it.
I miss you calling me mimi
June 14, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I miss you calling me mimi
Why the fuck are you so fucking mean to me?? Am I so easy to be rude to? To be mean to? Am I not deserving of a proper conversation? I'm so confused. I'm so hurt
May 26, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Why the fuck are you so fucking mean to me?? Am I so easy to be rude to? To be mean to? Am I not deserving of a proper conversation? I'm so confused. I'm so hurt
You've changed, not for the better unfortunately. But I hope this path you decide to embark on makes you happy.
May 17, 2025 at 12:52 PM
You've changed, not for the better unfortunately. But I hope this path you decide to embark on makes you happy.
I can't keep wishing things were different or went differently every single time you enter my mind. I just can't. It's unhealthy. It's not good. I dislike this path I'm going down but yet I can't change things now. Why is it so damn hard??
May 17, 2025 at 9:39 AM
I can't keep wishing things were different or went differently every single time you enter my mind. I just can't. It's unhealthy. It's not good. I dislike this path I'm going down but yet I can't change things now. Why is it so damn hard??
How ironic that I have to be activated for work to report to a school that you've fetched me from. I think at the time, that made me fall for you even more. Oh boy oh no
May 12, 2025 at 10:53 PM
How ironic that I have to be activated for work to report to a school that you've fetched me from. I think at the time, that made me fall for you even more. Oh boy oh no
What a coincidence it was today that I walked past a flower bush that smelt exactly like you. The memories it unlocked and resurfaced was just simply overwhelming. I genuinely felt like crying right then and there..
May 8, 2025 at 6:03 PM
What a coincidence it was today that I walked past a flower bush that smelt exactly like you. The memories it unlocked and resurfaced was just simply overwhelming. I genuinely felt like crying right then and there..
Have I grown? Yes. Is it with the people that I wish I grew with? No. Is it unfortunate? Truly. Is there any way around this? I believe so. I hope so. I don't wanna live a lie anymore. I need a therapist to speak to. I NEED TO CRY WITHOUT RESTRAINT BUT HOW. THERE'S SO MUCH WEIGHT ON ME, STOPPING ME.
May 7, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Have I grown? Yes. Is it with the people that I wish I grew with? No. Is it unfortunate? Truly. Is there any way around this? I believe so. I hope so. I don't wanna live a lie anymore. I need a therapist to speak to. I NEED TO CRY WITHOUT RESTRAINT BUT HOW. THERE'S SO MUCH WEIGHT ON ME, STOPPING ME.
I need to continue my cleanse and not break it. Can't believe I just fucking spiralled right before work. This is not good for me even in the slightest. Did I make a mistake? I believe I did. I want to cry. I want to disappear. I want to just have a pause on life, have a rewind, not continue anymore
May 7, 2025 at 10:54 PM
I need to continue my cleanse and not break it. Can't believe I just fucking spiralled right before work. This is not good for me even in the slightest. Did I make a mistake? I believe I did. I want to cry. I want to disappear. I want to just have a pause on life, have a rewind, not continue anymore
I feel like I put in the majority of the effort in my relationships early on till I'm burnt out cuz I'm bad at communicating with my exes about the way I feel. I hope I can do better. I regret so much in my past relationships honestly..
May 6, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I feel like I put in the majority of the effort in my relationships early on till I'm burnt out cuz I'm bad at communicating with my exes about the way I feel. I hope I can do better. I regret so much in my past relationships honestly..
She said "I should thank your exes" while I was drying her hair today. I got curious and asked why she said that and she responded: "cuz you know how to take care of me so well." Honestly tho, I know I do, but then who takes care of me?
May 6, 2025 at 6:04 PM
She said "I should thank your exes" while I was drying her hair today. I got curious and asked why she said that and she responded: "cuz you know how to take care of me so well." Honestly tho, I know I do, but then who takes care of me?
What the fuck is up with people without a sense of urgency? Why do I deal with people that have a lack of timing? How disrespectful
April 30, 2025 at 10:35 AM
What the fuck is up with people without a sense of urgency? Why do I deal with people that have a lack of timing? How disrespectful
May you receive the love you deserve from the very start. May you heal from the wounds I have inflicted. May you experience the ethereal joy that is to love and be loved fiercely and fearlessly. Without fear, without doubt. May you grow to be better like I know I have.
April 26, 2025 at 6:23 PM
May you receive the love you deserve from the very start. May you heal from the wounds I have inflicted. May you experience the ethereal joy that is to love and be loved fiercely and fearlessly. Without fear, without doubt. May you grow to be better like I know I have.
Maybe you were, I wouldn't've doubted it. But yet we held each other each back from the growth that we needed to become better people. I hope I would be able to experience a love like the one I've received from you once again. I know I may be undeserving of it but I can only hope and pray for it so.
April 26, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Maybe you were, I wouldn't've doubted it. But yet we held each other each back from the growth that we needed to become better people. I hope I would be able to experience a love like the one I've received from you once again. I know I may be undeserving of it but I can only hope and pray for it so.
I'd hate to rely on the you in my head to get through all of this. At least I know the you in my head can't be disappointed by me, can't be hurt by me, can't be misunderstood by me. Someone else said you were the only one in my history to truly have loved me.
April 26, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I'd hate to rely on the you in my head to get through all of this. At least I know the you in my head can't be disappointed by me, can't be hurt by me, can't be misunderstood by me. Someone else said you were the only one in my history to truly have loved me.
I wish I was better. I wish we were better. Maybe this whole debacle wouldn't've occured in the first place if we did; if I did. I'm just wondering how everything is going to play out. Will I hurt again or will I stonewall against you again? I genuinely wonder.
April 26, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I wish I was better. I wish we were better. Maybe this whole debacle wouldn't've occured in the first place if we did; if I did. I'm just wondering how everything is going to play out. Will I hurt again or will I stonewall against you again? I genuinely wonder.
You had to cross this hurdle at first while I escaped in the refuge of others to avoid facing this. You mentioned that I never faced the consequences of my actions but unironically I did. In silence. Alone. How could I dare have anyone to help me through the mistakes that put me there??
April 26, 2025 at 6:12 PM
You had to cross this hurdle at first while I escaped in the refuge of others to avoid facing this. You mentioned that I never faced the consequences of my actions but unironically I did. In silence. Alone. How could I dare have anyone to help me through the mistakes that put me there??
I cried today. Although it was cuz of a rewatch of "your lie in April", it felt as if I have some level of closure. Losing the blonde girl, moving on with life. I didn't think I'd cry but yet I did, somewhat therapeutic yet somewhat relieved. I need to move on, I need to. The journey has just begun.
April 26, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I cried today. Although it was cuz of a rewatch of "your lie in April", it felt as if I have some level of closure. Losing the blonde girl, moving on with life. I didn't think I'd cry but yet I did, somewhat therapeutic yet somewhat relieved. I need to move on, I need to. The journey has just begun.
Why is being considerate so difficult and upsetting
April 24, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Why is being considerate so difficult and upsetting