“…and here is my library of Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference mince pies which they were flogging off at 35p a pop and don’t go off until May.”

“I have in my hand a Truth Social post from Mr Trump.”

Just saying, never seen them in the same room at the same time.

“Hurrah for the Blackshirts!”

“This Tariff will be due and payable until such time as a Deal is reached for the Complete and Total purchase of Naboo.”

Here’s all the alarms I have saved on my phone. Either I or Apple have fundamentally misunderstood something about how alarms are supposed to work and I don’t think it’s me.

Oh no

Oh no

“Common”? Not that I’d expect anything better from the T***graph but this kind of regressive shit is just inexcusable. There’s a word for people preoccupied with etiquette and their own class status which also begins with a c.