PTOTUS: President Trump of the United States
@ptotus.bsky.social
Daily Updates on President Donald Trump, President of Donald Trump's United States, a subsidiary of the Trump Corporation, Musk Industries, and ExxonMobil (Political satire protected under the First Amendment)
June 12, 2025 at 11:52 PM
The news that some of my administration officials are stockpiling toilet paper due to tariffs has sent some Americans into a panic, but don’t worry, my Secretary of Golden Toilets assures me you can use up to 4x less. #Tariffic #LetThemEatUrinalCake
May 6, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The news that some of my administration officials are stockpiling toilet paper due to tariffs has sent some Americans into a panic, but don’t worry, my Secretary of Golden Toilets assures me you can use up to 4x less. #Tariffic #LetThemEatUrinalCake
People are making such a big deal about me saying that I don’t necessarily have to uphold the Constitution as President. At my first inauguration I put my hand on the Bible at the swearing in, but this time I didn’t. Presidential loophole! #HadMyFingersCrossed
May 4, 2025 at 10:39 PM
People are making such a big deal about me saying that I don’t necessarily have to uphold the Constitution as President. At my first inauguration I put my hand on the Bible at the swearing in, but this time I didn’t. Presidential loophole! #HadMyFingersCrossed
Polls say I have the lowest 100-day presidential approval rating in 80 years. I was ranked as the 3rd worst president of all time but you reelected me anyway, so a minus 13 net approval doesn’t concern me: if I can get it to minus 25 you just might elect me a third time! #TheBestAtBeingTheWorst
April 30, 2025 at 1:24 PM
Polls say I have the lowest 100-day presidential approval rating in 80 years. I was ranked as the 3rd worst president of all time but you reelected me anyway, so a minus 13 net approval doesn’t concern me: if I can get it to minus 25 you just might elect me a third time! #TheBestAtBeingTheWorst
DOGE has done a great job: they have cut over 60,000 hard-working Federal employees and countless government services. Thanks to your sacrifices, we can fund my weekly golf trips and tax cuts for billionaires: government spending is higher than ever! #AuXterity #AmericanOligarchy
April 22, 2025 at 11:05 AM
DOGE has done a great job: they have cut over 60,000 hard-working Federal employees and countless government services. Thanks to your sacrifices, we can fund my weekly golf trips and tax cuts for billionaires: government spending is higher than ever! #AuXterity #AmericanOligarchy
According to my recent physical exam your Dear Leader is 6’3” (still growing at almost 80 years old) and 225lbs, exactly the same size as Chris Hemsworth. I’m the one on the left if you can’t tell: we’re practically twins! #MaybeFatThor
April 21, 2025 at 7:22 PM
According to my recent physical exam your Dear Leader is 6’3” (still growing at almost 80 years old) and 225lbs, exactly the same size as Chris Hemsworth. I’m the one on the left if you can’t tell: we’re practically twins! #MaybeFatThor
Good news: my AG tells me that if we subvert the Constitution just a tiny bit, I can deport ALL brown people with tattoos to El Salvador’s supermax prisons, even U.S. citizens! Subcontracting concentra… I mean, prisons, makes it feel much less “final solution.” #WhiteSupremacyBingo #EightDown
April 16, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Good news: my AG tells me that if we subvert the Constitution just a tiny bit, I can deport ALL brown people with tattoos to El Salvador’s supermax prisons, even U.S. citizens! Subcontracting concentra… I mean, prisons, makes it feel much less “final solution.” #WhiteSupremacyBingo #EightDown
I LOVE TARIFFS! This is my official US tariff formula: the top two terms are backwards, two others are constants that cancel each other out, it results in a 10% tariff on trade surplus countries and an island of only penguins, and was devised by economist Ron Varra, who is just Peter Navarro! #math
April 15, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I LOVE TARIFFS! This is my official US tariff formula: the top two terms are backwards, two others are constants that cancel each other out, it results in a 10% tariff on trade surplus countries and an island of only penguins, and was devised by economist Ron Varra, who is just Peter Navarro! #math
I need to remember to let DOGE know about the ad I made to thank me for all of my great work on immigration. Spending $200M of taxpayer money on an ad discouraging immigration to the U.S. and airing it only in U.S. was a stroke of genius! #ThanksKristi
April 2, 2025 at 11:30 AM
I need to remember to let DOGE know about the ad I made to thank me for all of my great work on immigration. Spending $200M of taxpayer money on an ad discouraging immigration to the U.S. and airing it only in U.S. was a stroke of genius! #ThanksKristi
This is Neri: he is a 25yo from Venezuela who was cleared by ICE. We deported him anyway, without a trial, to a maximum security prison in El Salvador where he will die without ever seeing the inside of a court room. Why? He has an autism awareness tattoo. #TrumpJustice #SixDown #ThisIsAmerica
March 28, 2025 at 10:44 PM
This is Neri: he is a 25yo from Venezuela who was cleared by ICE. We deported him anyway, without a trial, to a maximum security prison in El Salvador where he will die without ever seeing the inside of a court room. Why? He has an autism awareness tattoo. #TrumpJustice #SixDown #ThisIsAmerica
If you have brown skin and tattoos (even a butterfly or a heart), we will assume you are a criminal immigrant and deport you to CECOT prison in El Salvador WITHOUT A TRIAL to rot with 70 gang members in a cell until you die #TrumpJustice #GenevaConvention #WhiteGestapo #ThisIsAmerica #SixDown
March 27, 2025 at 11:24 AM
If you have brown skin and tattoos (even a butterfly or a heart), we will assume you are a criminal immigrant and deport you to CECOT prison in El Salvador WITHOUT A TRIAL to rot with 70 gang members in a cell until you die #TrumpJustice #GenevaConvention #WhiteGestapo #ThisIsAmerica #SixDown
Introducing Cadbury/Eggland’s Best White House Easter Egg Roll! Sponsorships range from $75,000-$200,000 and include branding opportunities, a meet and greet with me, and 150 tickets for friends, employees, or foreign interests. “Egg Roll” is still too ethnic… #CashIsRisen #PayToPlay #AmericaForSale
March 23, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Introducing Cadbury/Eggland’s Best White House Easter Egg Roll! Sponsorships range from $75,000-$200,000 and include branding opportunities, a meet and greet with me, and 150 tickets for friends, employees, or foreign interests. “Egg Roll” is still too ethnic… #CashIsRisen #PayToPlay #AmericaForSale
We will continue to remove any references to women, people of color, and LGBTQ individuals, including the Navajo code talkers, Vietnam war hero Charles C. Rogers, even the plane that dropped the bomb (Enola Gay). From now on American history is white history! #EnolaTooGay #WhiteHistory
March 22, 2025 at 12:16 PM
We will continue to remove any references to women, people of color, and LGBTQ individuals, including the Navajo code talkers, Vietnam war hero Charles C. Rogers, even the plane that dropped the bomb (Enola Gay). From now on American history is white history! #EnolaTooGay #WhiteHistory
Don’t miss my appearance on “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” I won’t spoil the answer for you, but by signing an order to dismantle and terminate the Education Department, I am ensuring that no American voters will be! #LetsFindOut #KickedInTheEd
March 20, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Don’t miss my appearance on “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” I won’t spoil the answer for you, but by signing an order to dismantle and terminate the Education Department, I am ensuring that no American voters will be! #LetsFindOut #KickedInTheEd
During my campaign I vowed to be a “protector of women… whether they like it or not.” My strategy? Erasing their existence from all Federal websites and documents along with 200 words including “female, black, disability, equality, Native American, race, racism, and women!” #1984 #GaslightAmerica
March 20, 2025 at 9:21 AM
During my campaign I vowed to be a “protector of women… whether they like it or not.” My strategy? Erasing their existence from all Federal websites and documents along with 200 words including “female, black, disability, equality, Native American, race, racism, and women!” #1984 #GaslightAmerica
Canada's our ally, but tariffs are more fun (remember The Great Depression?) Canada must pay for the 0.5% of fentanyl that comes across the border (and ignore the American guns that are used in 90% of their violent crimes). “Whoever signed the USMCA agreement is an idiot!” #BlameCanada #StopTheSteel
March 15, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Canada's our ally, but tariffs are more fun (remember The Great Depression?) Canada must pay for the 0.5% of fentanyl that comes across the border (and ignore the American guns that are used in 90% of their violent crimes). “Whoever signed the USMCA agreement is an idiot!” #BlameCanada #StopTheSteel
When Elon bought the presidency for $288m, he also got me as a spokesman for his companies: here I am hawking Teslers for him on the White House lawn. My 2hr speeches are now sponsored by The Boring Company and Melania is the spokeswoman for Twitter (as my future X). #AmericaForSale #Elon&TheFelon
March 14, 2025 at 12:12 PM
When Elon bought the presidency for $288m, he also got me as a spokesman for his companies: here I am hawking Teslers for him on the White House lawn. My 2hr speeches are now sponsored by The Boring Company and Melania is the spokeswoman for Twitter (as my future X). #AmericaForSale #Elon&TheFelon
I agree: Senator Mark Kelly is a traitor to Mother Russia! #RussiaFirst #BackinTheUSSR
March 10, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I agree: Senator Mark Kelly is a traitor to Mother Russia! #RussiaFirst #BackinTheUSSR
Elon, get your Martian A.I. under control: that’s an order, directly from your Comrade in Chief... I mean, Commander in Chief!
March 7, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Elon, get your Martian A.I. under control: that’s an order, directly from your Comrade in Chief... I mean, Commander in Chief!
Many have accused me of being a “monkey at the typewriter” when it comes to policy: tariffs on, off, and on again, but mostly just endlessly feeding the culture wars to divide the nation. But could a monkey bring you eggs for $15/doz and the $100,000 Dodge RAM? #NoShakespeare #Tariffic #GroceryGoon
March 7, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Many have accused me of being a “monkey at the typewriter” when it comes to policy: tariffs on, off, and on again, but mostly just endlessly feeding the culture wars to divide the nation. But could a monkey bring you eggs for $15/doz and the $100,000 Dodge RAM? #NoShakespeare #Tariffic #GroceryGoon
The U.S. will no longer be defending against Russian hackers: I have ordered U.S. cybersecurity to pause work and no longer report on any Russian threats. It's open season on American infrastructure and elections! Next up: handing the U.S. Treasury over to this nice Nigerian prince I met online...
March 4, 2025 at 1:34 AM
The U.S. will no longer be defending against Russian hackers: I have ordered U.S. cybersecurity to pause work and no longer report on any Russian threats. It's open season on American infrastructure and elections! Next up: handing the U.S. Treasury over to this nice Nigerian prince I met online...
Elon Musk wore a T-SHIRT in the oval office, brought his kid, and neglected to thank me for all I have done for him, so I gave him access to all your tax and social security info and permission to gut the Federal government and sell America off for parts. #DoubleStandards #auXterity #BackinTheUSSR
March 2, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Elon Musk wore a T-SHIRT in the oval office, brought his kid, and neglected to thank me for all I have done for him, so I gave him access to all your tax and social security info and permission to gut the Federal government and sell America off for parts. #DoubleStandards #auXterity #BackinTheUSSR
I have ordered the Federal government to shut down all 8,500 of the EV chargers they built and sell off 9,500 brand new fleet EVs for pennies on the dollar, replacing them with gas guzzlers, costing tax payers $250m upfront and an additional $20m per year in fuel costs. # ChinaFirst # BackToThePast
February 22, 2025 at 12:18 PM
I have ordered the Federal government to shut down all 8,500 of the EV chargers they built and sell off 9,500 brand new fleet EVs for pennies on the dollar, replacing them with gas guzzlers, costing tax payers $250m upfront and an additional $20m per year in fuel costs. # ChinaFirst # BackToThePast
This new way of "waving at the crowd" is really catching on! First Elon, now Steve: are you next? # NaziFirstTime
February 22, 2025 at 12:07 PM
This new way of "waving at the crowd" is really catching on! First Elon, now Steve: are you next? # NaziFirstTime
There is only one branch of government, there is only one law, there is no justice, there is only me now. # trumpVunitedstates
February 22, 2025 at 12:03 PM
There is only one branch of government, there is only one law, there is no justice, there is only me now. # trumpVunitedstates