we’re trying to discuss smoking stats and now this girl asked us to thinking about autopsies serial kllers and the mortician industry?? omfg

I am regretful that I missed your final day, as someone who has been your friend since day 1. but in any situation, my studies have to come first. I have had many instances where I lost sight of that during my time as a student. I just can’t afford to lose sight of it again.

In my head, an exam always comes first and is entirely separate from a friendship. And I understand if these values of mine don’t resonate with you. I get it if this ends up being that final straw

If my gpa gets any lower I won’t have the funds to study here anymore. And that’s just what I live with on a daily basis.

I don’t think you’re not allowed to be hurt. I don’t think what i did wasn’t hurtful. I’m sorry my decision hurt you. But it was never a testament to our friendship

And that’s why I kept standing by my decision to miss your ceremony. I don’t have anyone here except a couple of friends and some relatives. I don’t have the luxury of falling back and missing your ceremony was not easy for me but if I had to make that decision again for you or anyone else I would

My exam may not have been a big enough reason to you, but my grades and my school has always been my life over everything, especially because I was away from home.

I’m sorry to play the international student card I try not to. but I had to realize that my situation is just different.

And the idea of dropping everything for an exam is not healthy or normal, I know that. It’s probably not necessary anywhere outside of India. but im under a lot of pressure as an international student. I don’t have the same luxuries of falling back and risking grades.

I know this isn’t India and in the end, I can’t help the way I hurt you when I had to blow you off. I think that disappointment is valid and I’d have felt that way too

But im telling you this because I hope it gives you an understanding of my thinking process.

out of the 3 months I was there bc she had exams and internships to get through. and it sucked that I couldn’t see her at all, but the community I grew up with prioritizes academic and professional success over anything and everything and thats the mindset i have always had. so it didn’t faze me

The only reason im here is because of my education. the culture I grew up with in India, i put off anything and everyone for an exam and i would expect my friends to do the same for their academics too
when i went back to India for the summer last year, i saw my best friend from high school 2 times

it was probably just an innocent hang out and now I’d be ruining it for them

if we made yall feel some way and now ur just returning that energy I’m sorry for ever losing sight of our friendship and causing u guys to want to distance yourselves

but right now I just can’t help but be really fucking hurt that u here for a what seems to be a while

bc right now I’ve been crying over yall being in f***** for the past 4 fucking hours so if we can make this boundary clear at least I’ll know what to expect

I know us leaving has hurt u guys and at the time I didn’t realize it was bad and now you guys have branched out and I’m happy for yall but

i know you guys have been the first ones to bring up a divide between the group ever since we transferred and that’s inevitable

if i fucked up in any way just let me know if this is a response to the divide since we transferred just say it we can work around it or set a boundary

and i just hear nothing out of yall or its dry responses

and i dont know what i did wrong

Im sorry if this is about me not responding about our trip and keeping yall waiting

and it’s usually impossible to get u guys here but now you’re 15 mins away and I haven’t heard a thing

if i did something wrong please just tell me

if you guys just have ur own plans it’s fine ik m***** can’t host like 6 separate people but I’ve been reaching out all week