so anyway i'm really tired of having these kinda of interactions with my sister

me: *proceeds to start to brush teeth*
sister: *leaves bathroom angrily*
me: *oh my god i made it through that interaction without breaking down this is an epic moment i need to share this with people. wait but what if i'm the bad guy for talking back. wh- ??? how would that make me the bad guy.*

sister: you always do this! i say something and then suddenly it's the WORST thing! you make me the bad guy and it's always MY fault!
me: *don't freak out don't freak out don't freak out. staring at her with no words.*
mom: stop. *makes a gesture to me to come here*
me: i'm going to brush my teeth.

sister: i am already in a bad mood and you're making it worse!
me: i-
sister: there was no reason you needed to reply!
me: *already seeing where this is going, about to dig the hole deeper* yes. that's correct. there was no reason you needed to make that comment.

its the mental ilnes :(( and god thats a mood

no cus me too and i have a solution but it sounds very silly when i type it out. i tuck all my limbs under my covers and close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. because apparently the paranoia is cus theres Something Out There

its easier to handle the hallucinations when im busy but when im alone or im getting ready for bed or im already in distress its really hard

i know telling it to shut up is illogical but it made me feel better to shout that loudly

its very nonsensical things that are being said and like stuff that i cant make out like im inside a room next
to a cafeteria or something but theres Nobody Home

everything is dangerous and bad and the fucking benadryl makes me hallucinate and i cant tell which direction noises are coming from

i want it to stop i want it to stop i wish i never ever ever tried thags tupid fucking sweet i wish i had known or smelt it or something

i font know what to do i doont know what im doing im itcht im scared i can feel my heartbeat in every inch of my body

that's too damn bad cus i wanna spend time with you.

until then, im happy to sit with you.

not even a little bit bad. also i can suggest things if you WOULD like to lose weight

sighs.... gets in line for the guillotine.....

your existence is useful because u r my friend and i value that. u are being useful no matter what activity you're partaking in