@purpletrauma.bsky.social
Todays thoughts: thinking too much lately. I think there's little more for me to do until my next therapy session. Maybe draw something lighter than human figure. Continue the book a bit; it's currently only asking me to play with line quality by doing different kinds of squiggles right now.
February 1, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Todays thoughts: thinking too much lately. I think there's little more for me to do until my next therapy session. Maybe draw something lighter than human figure. Continue the book a bit; it's currently only asking me to play with line quality by doing different kinds of squiggles right now.
Today's thoughts: Since AI sounded correct, I decided to ask it to come up with topics I could research myself. It gave me mostly journal-published terms that are relevant but not directly usable. Tried to refine results further, it gave official sounding fake terms spitting back things I said. Sigh
January 30, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Today's thoughts: Since AI sounded correct, I decided to ask it to come up with topics I could research myself. It gave me mostly journal-published terms that are relevant but not directly usable. Tried to refine results further, it gave official sounding fake terms spitting back things I said. Sigh
Yeah, I'm trying too hard and not sure what to do about it. I think this is a more pervasive problem than just with art... fuck, I'm gonna be puzzling over this for awhile. Nobody to ask, except AI, for all the waste of time that would be.
January 30, 2026 at 1:35 AM
Yeah, I'm trying too hard and not sure what to do about it. I think this is a more pervasive problem than just with art... fuck, I'm gonna be puzzling over this for awhile. Nobody to ask, except AI, for all the waste of time that would be.
Today's thoughts: I burned myself out on two contour drawings and less than an hour of drawing between them. I was so tense I'd be snapping any pencil I'd use, and scored the paper badly with the pen. This.. is an issue.
January 29, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Today's thoughts: I burned myself out on two contour drawings and less than an hour of drawing between them. I was so tense I'd be snapping any pencil I'd use, and scored the paper badly with the pen. This.. is an issue.
Today's thoughts: I need to just start studying human anatomy in order to step my art to the next stage... I am stressing about it and procrastinating out of insecurity.
January 28, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Today's thoughts: I need to just start studying human anatomy in order to step my art to the next stage... I am stressing about it and procrastinating out of insecurity.
Okay, this is bothering me. I did more advanced shape exercises, some line quality exercises and they were.. easy.. why was this so easy? And what the heck do I do next? I'm still only capable of freehanding from the get-go, and human figure is still a leap too far. Continue the bok I guess.
January 27, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Okay, this is bothering me. I did more advanced shape exercises, some line quality exercises and they were.. easy.. why was this so easy? And what the heck do I do next? I'm still only capable of freehanding from the get-go, and human figure is still a leap too far. Continue the bok I guess.
Today's thoughts: spiraled over nothing yesterday. Just reached the point where the practice exercises start to feel challenging, so my mind screamed "You're doing it wrong" and all my insecurities responded. Funny thing is not being challenged also makes me feel like I'm failing.. this is an issue.
January 25, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Today's thoughts: spiraled over nothing yesterday. Just reached the point where the practice exercises start to feel challenging, so my mind screamed "You're doing it wrong" and all my insecurities responded. Funny thing is not being challenged also makes me feel like I'm failing.. this is an issue.
Today's idle thoughts: I began doubting the practice I am doing and whether I am progressing until I spiraled. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Wish I had someone to ask to help focus me. Pretty sure any skilled artist will just point me back to doing the stuff that led to this.
January 24, 2026 at 10:47 PM
Today's idle thoughts: I began doubting the practice I am doing and whether I am progressing until I spiraled. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Wish I had someone to ask to help focus me. Pretty sure any skilled artist will just point me back to doing the stuff that led to this.
Today's idle thoughts: I developed my art fundamentals to an excessive degree but never had the confidence to continue... now that I'm pushing forward more, I'm basically going to go from stick figures and wonky proportioned still lifes to professional level practically overnight aren't I?
January 23, 2026 at 7:12 PM
Today's idle thoughts: I developed my art fundamentals to an excessive degree but never had the confidence to continue... now that I'm pushing forward more, I'm basically going to go from stick figures and wonky proportioned still lifes to professional level practically overnight aren't I?
Today's idle thoughts: my therapist keeps bringing up how anger is natural and I shouldn't tear myself up about feeling it, despite reporting no anger or anger issues... I think she's expecting something to come out in the future.. hrm...
January 23, 2026 at 5:20 AM
Today's idle thoughts: my therapist keeps bringing up how anger is natural and I shouldn't tear myself up about feeling it, despite reporting no anger or anger issues... I think she's expecting something to come out in the future.. hrm...
Been feeling an almost daily emotional discomfort I can't identify. Is it loneliness? Is it that I hate where I live? Is it a need? Is it a want? Dissatisfaction? Something is chaffing me, and I don't know what. Haven't been able to think of something I want to draw. Going back to boxes.
January 21, 2026 at 4:37 PM
Been feeling an almost daily emotional discomfort I can't identify. Is it loneliness? Is it that I hate where I live? Is it a need? Is it a want? Dissatisfaction? Something is chaffing me, and I don't know what. Haven't been able to think of something I want to draw. Going back to boxes.
Brainstorming project progress: a mixture of "I should play this game and see if I like a moment enough to make a big deal out of drawing it.." and "I should draw the idea I think is terrible in order to both get it out of my head, and get myself started." Not certain about either idea, though.
January 18, 2026 at 10:41 PM
Brainstorming project progress: a mixture of "I should play this game and see if I like a moment enough to make a big deal out of drawing it.." and "I should draw the idea I think is terrible in order to both get it out of my head, and get myself started." Not certain about either idea, though.
Still fussing in my head. I feel doing a bunch of volumetric cylinders did help a bit.. also thinking maybe I need a project. Have some vague ideas for a setting knocking around, but not what to do with it. Hrm.
January 16, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Still fussing in my head. I feel doing a bunch of volumetric cylinders did help a bit.. also thinking maybe I need a project. Have some vague ideas for a setting knocking around, but not what to do with it. Hrm.
I have this thought periodically, but... I miss Dr. Quandary and some of those old games and wish someone with a vision would try to recapture what happened here.
January 15, 2026 at 4:04 PM
I have this thought periodically, but... I miss Dr. Quandary and some of those old games and wish someone with a vision would try to recapture what happened here.
Oop! First strong depression in awhile! Well, not quite. I don't feel emotion often, so when a rather simple and tame plot made me incredibly sad.. I got a bit obsessed over why. Trying to either figure it out, or get desensitized; whichever happens first. Spill your secrets to me, Figment 2! Why!?
January 12, 2026 at 1:46 AM
Oop! First strong depression in awhile! Well, not quite. I don't feel emotion often, so when a rather simple and tame plot made me incredibly sad.. I got a bit obsessed over why. Trying to either figure it out, or get desensitized; whichever happens first. Spill your secrets to me, Figment 2! Why!?
I continued fussing over what I need in art.. and concluded what will do me the most benefit is going back to 3D shapes. See, I learned to draw that 3x3 grid at even 45 degrees from the focal point as a mental symbol. I didn't learn to control the angle of the shapes before I decided I was done.
January 10, 2026 at 10:10 PM
I continued fussing over what I need in art.. and concluded what will do me the most benefit is going back to 3D shapes. See, I learned to draw that 3x3 grid at even 45 degrees from the focal point as a mental symbol. I didn't learn to control the angle of the shapes before I decided I was done.
Today's thoughts: I feel passion about expressing passion.. thus I have nothing to express with that energy, making all my effort to practice art a hundred times harder and a hundred times less effective.
January 8, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Today's thoughts: I feel passion about expressing passion.. thus I have nothing to express with that energy, making all my effort to practice art a hundred times harder and a hundred times less effective.
Feeling a total lack of confidence, decided to spend a bunch of today just practicing lines
January 7, 2026 at 5:55 PM
Feeling a total lack of confidence, decided to spend a bunch of today just practicing lines
Wound up not feeling up to drawing for the last ten days. Today, I fussed mentally over how I don't like my gesture drawings and started back up. Don't like any of today's practice at all, but I started up again, so there's that.
January 4, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Wound up not feeling up to drawing for the last ten days. Today, I fussed mentally over how I don't like my gesture drawings and started back up. Don't like any of today's practice at all, but I started up again, so there's that.
Haven't felt deep depression in awhile, but have been feeling a biting sadness for some reason. At least I'm keeping up with the drawing practice.
December 24, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Haven't felt deep depression in awhile, but have been feeling a biting sadness for some reason. At least I'm keeping up with the drawing practice.
Close to being done sorting out the recovery folders of images. Left me so delirious, I'm wondering if I should place the Beartato images under the "Monster Girl" folder.. it kinda fits. #Nedroid
December 19, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Close to being done sorting out the recovery folders of images. Left me so delirious, I'm wondering if I should place the Beartato images under the "Monster Girl" folder.. it kinda fits. #Nedroid
Been doing this stuff for a few days now. The goal was just to make it recognizeable and deal with locking up style anxiety, so I might be ready for stage 2.. my cubes and cylinders are still bothering me though.
December 19, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Been doing this stuff for a few days now. The goal was just to make it recognizeable and deal with locking up style anxiety, so I might be ready for stage 2.. my cubes and cylinders are still bothering me though.
The fact that the cubes are completely facing the viewer started bothering me; turns out all guides have you draw 3D cubes that way. I have more to figure out.. maybe I'll do a couple more days of these shapes before I move on..
December 18, 2025 at 5:10 PM
The fact that the cubes are completely facing the viewer started bothering me; turns out all guides have you draw 3D cubes that way. I have more to figure out.. maybe I'll do a couple more days of these shapes before I move on..
Part of my latest daily practice plan, this one designed to get past my anxieties locking me up. I think I'm ready for the next stage; the goal is to make recognizable results, not practiced perfection.
December 16, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Part of my latest daily practice plan, this one designed to get past my anxieties locking me up. I think I'm ready for the next stage; the goal is to make recognizable results, not practiced perfection.
I don't understand why I don't hate this little drawing.
December 14, 2025 at 6:30 PM
I don't understand why I don't hate this little drawing.