i reaallly want 11 but theres no chance this plot will open up on my server

i don't even like gnshn anymore but i stillll love some ships. those r my wives idc

man yearn for ppl who want to be their friend because THEY want to be. who talk to me bc THEY'RE interested in it. not because they actually want my help w something or whatever. not because they're bored and have no one else to talk to

and it sucks because i do genuinely want to be friends with some people, but i also don't want to be the only one putting in the effort into becoming friends??

bc you'd. put in the effort for a friend. personally i do. if ur not interested in being my friend to Be My Friend or talking w me in general i rather it just said straight up so i can stop embarrassing myself trying to hold conversations with someone who dgaf

or am i just someone they go to message, if they even do at all (most of the time they don't lmfao), when they have nobody else to talk with? when it's convenient for them? when they have a question about modding? when they want my help with something?

and the fact is, there ARE a Lot of people i haven't spoken to in months because i stopped texting first. boy do i know how hard it can be starting convos. but i've rly been thinking, do these people Actually see me as a friend???

it's crazy how many ppl i'd never hear from if i didn't text first. i've been getting reaaally tired of Always Being The One To Start Conversations and almost every single time i do start them, i carry them like crazy. it rarely feels like the other person is interested aswell in talking

take a shot everytime mesonyx is woobified i'm out in 5 minutes

nothing feels quite as bad as watching this happen over and over again.

if i see a person shift their interests from him as a character to "how many positions can he be fucked in" i will have to stop any writing we do. when it's to the point where this is the only thing discussed that gets more than a dry ass response i'm not continuing it any further.

as i said, i like smut. this is no secret. a handful of my ocs get around, most don't. mesonyx is one of the few ocs i have who associate intimacy of any kind, esp sexual with negativity and very bad feelings bc of the nature of his trauma.

and don't get me wrong! smut is great and i love that shit. big fan of it. but you can easily tell when that's the only thing a person cares about.
there's nothing wrong with only wanting that in general either however comma you NEED to communicate this with your rp partners.