If they hadn’t hanged Guiteau in 1882, doubtless he would still be yammering on about “removing“ Garfield & how it wasn‘t really murder because “the Deity” told him to do it.
February 16, 2026 at 10:20 PM
If they hadn’t hanged Guiteau in 1882, doubtless he would still be yammering on about “removing“ Garfield & how it wasn‘t really murder because “the Deity” told him to do it.
New DNA results!
“Likely to drink less caffeine than average.”
Wait.
What?
“Likely to drink less caffeine than average.”
Wait.
What?
February 16, 2026 at 4:15 AM
New DNA results!
“Likely to drink less caffeine than average.”
Wait.
What?
“Likely to drink less caffeine than average.”
Wait.
What?
Seven people in the movie theater this afternoon.
Still more than Melania.
Still more than Melania.
February 15, 2026 at 5:21 AM
Seven people in the movie theater this afternoon.
Still more than Melania.
Still more than Melania.
Fishing Legos out of my coffee. As one does.
February 14, 2026 at 7:27 PM
Fishing Legos out of my coffee. As one does.
“If I had a bigger bucket, I could put out fires more quickly.”
“If you didn’t let the children play with matches, there wouldn’t be so many fires.”
“Well, that’s a stupid idea.”
“If you didn’t let the children play with matches, there wouldn’t be so many fires.”
“Well, that’s a stupid idea.”
February 12, 2026 at 10:09 PM
“If I had a bigger bucket, I could put out fires more quickly.”
“If you didn’t let the children play with matches, there wouldn’t be so many fires.”
“Well, that’s a stupid idea.”
“If you didn’t let the children play with matches, there wouldn’t be so many fires.”
“Well, that’s a stupid idea.”
Out of the 17,576 possible three-letter acronyms, how many have appeared in drug ads as the name of a disease?
February 12, 2026 at 4:33 AM
Out of the 17,576 possible three-letter acronyms, how many have appeared in drug ads as the name of a disease?
Somebody's already working on a new programming language consisting of AI prompts for vibe coding.
February 7, 2026 at 6:33 PM
Somebody's already working on a new programming language consisting of AI prompts for vibe coding.
Carrier informs me that my phone won't work in Bhutan.
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
February 7, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Carrier informs me that my phone won't work in Bhutan.
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
When an angry person on the internet asks an angry question, how does one tell whether they really want an answer?
(Trick question. Angry people don’t want answers.)
(Trick question. Angry people don’t want answers.)
February 7, 2026 at 3:30 AM
When an angry person on the internet asks an angry question, how does one tell whether they really want an answer?
(Trick question. Angry people don’t want answers.)
(Trick question. Angry people don’t want answers.)
“It really doesn’t matter who comes out on top
Who gets the chop
No one’s way of life is threatened by a flop
But we’re gonna smash their bastard
Make him wanna change his name…”
Who gets the chop
No one’s way of life is threatened by a flop
But we’re gonna smash their bastard
Make him wanna change his name…”
February 7, 2026 at 3:08 AM
“It really doesn’t matter who comes out on top
Who gets the chop
No one’s way of life is threatened by a flop
But we’re gonna smash their bastard
Make him wanna change his name…”
Who gets the chop
No one’s way of life is threatened by a flop
But we’re gonna smash their bastard
Make him wanna change his name…”
Had to look up "cave canem" just now.
So embarrassing.
So embarrassing.
February 5, 2026 at 11:47 PM
Had to look up "cave canem" just now.
So embarrassing.
So embarrassing.
Over on instagram, AI-generated simulacra of young ladies weep that creating an OnlyFans account has destroyed their (simulated) lives.
Wonder who's generating these, and why.
Wonder who's generating these, and why.
February 4, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Over on instagram, AI-generated simulacra of young ladies weep that creating an OnlyFans account has destroyed their (simulated) lives.
Wonder who's generating these, and why.
Wonder who's generating these, and why.
People online say, “America deserves better.”
Do we?
Do we?
February 1, 2026 at 4:41 AM
People online say, “America deserves better.”
Do we?
Do we?
“I read your reply, and my first thought was: Do we work for the same company?”
January 30, 2026 at 3:51 AM
“I read your reply, and my first thought was: Do we work for the same company?”
Thinking that if the Hitting Yourself in the Head With a Hammer Challenge ever got loose on the internet, the death toll would be astronomical.
January 29, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Thinking that if the Hitting Yourself in the Head With a Hammer Challenge ever got loose on the internet, the death toll would be astronomical.
Accidentally de-enchanted my crossbow.
So embarrassing.
So embarrassing.
January 25, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Accidentally de-enchanted my crossbow.
So embarrassing.
So embarrassing.
Headlines that caught my attention, a continuing series:
“A Crotch-Enlarging Scandal Has Hit the Winter Olympics“
“A Crotch-Enlarging Scandal Has Hit the Winter Olympics“
January 25, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Headlines that caught my attention, a continuing series:
“A Crotch-Enlarging Scandal Has Hit the Winter Olympics“
“A Crotch-Enlarging Scandal Has Hit the Winter Olympics“
This show, “Pluribus.”
Its reputation exceeds it.
Its reputation exceeds it.
January 23, 2026 at 4:39 AM
This show, “Pluribus.”
Its reputation exceeds it.
Its reputation exceeds it.
“They’re using the language of desire to tell lies.”
January 21, 2026 at 10:25 PM
“They’re using the language of desire to tell lies.”
Through repeated exposure, I have developed an immunity to coffee.
January 21, 2026 at 6:41 PM
Through repeated exposure, I have developed an immunity to coffee.
“There is here an interesting philosophical relation of the Ruliad to Leibniz’s system of monads.”
Oh, hell. Monads too?
Oh, hell. Monads too?
January 21, 2026 at 3:54 AM
“There is here an interesting philosophical relation of the Ruliad to Leibniz’s system of monads.”
Oh, hell. Monads too?
Oh, hell. Monads too?
Have long since reached the age where any doctor appointment could lead to a consultation with a specialist & a conversation that begins, “I’m very sorry, but…”
January 20, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Have long since reached the age where any doctor appointment could lead to a consultation with a specialist & a conversation that begins, “I’m very sorry, but…”
Mildly amused that Intuit is still shipping Intel binaries for macOS, two and a half years after Apple shipped its last Intel Mac.
Seems they've forgotten the PowerPC-to-Intel debacle twenty years ago.
Seems they've forgotten the PowerPC-to-Intel debacle twenty years ago.
January 17, 2026 at 5:52 PM
Mildly amused that Intuit is still shipping Intel binaries for macOS, two and a half years after Apple shipped its last Intel Mac.
Seems they've forgotten the PowerPC-to-Intel debacle twenty years ago.
Seems they've forgotten the PowerPC-to-Intel debacle twenty years ago.
The questions:
"Is that a good idea?"
...and:
"Should that be illegal?"
... don't always have the same answer.
"Is that a good idea?"
...and:
"Should that be illegal?"
... don't always have the same answer.
January 17, 2026 at 2:22 PM
The questions:
"Is that a good idea?"
...and:
"Should that be illegal?"
... don't always have the same answer.
"Is that a good idea?"
...and:
"Should that be illegal?"
... don't always have the same answer.
Wondering whether Scott Adams qualifies as a milkshake duck.
January 13, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Wondering whether Scott Adams qualifies as a milkshake duck.