It’s not your brain’s “fault”. Society is literally not set up with your neurotype in mind and systemic ableism makes your life harder than it needs to be. That’s not to say ADHD wouldn’t be disabling at all in an ideal world, but many of the related problems are man-made

The same principles apply. Is it fun, new, interesting, pleasurable? If not, you need to add dopamine or you won’t do it

Here’s a common example I give my clients

Let’s say you & your roommate are having conflict b/c you always forget to take out the trash in the evenings

Attach the task to another person’s routine: your roommate coming home can be a natural reminder to take out the trash

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3) Reward yourself with more dopamine

You did it. Congrats!

Now, don’t skimp on your reward. As long as it’s safe & you can afford it, do it

Ideally the reward should be better than the bribe

Do you want alone time, rest, a certain meal, going out, quality time w/ people etc?

Some optional suggestions:

Play a special playlist so the music gives you a boost, make a snack bowl so your fave snacks keep you going, take dance breaks to release energy, turn the task into a game, do it with someone you like or do it while on the phone with someone you like

2) Make tasks fun, new, interesting, pleasurable, challenging in a good way

Fun/interesting things, pleasure, & light problem solving create dopamine, something ADHD folks are naturally low on (& it’s needed for motivation, focus etc)

You gotta attach dopamine to boring things

the problem of saying “ok I’ll do the thing & reward myself after” and the you find yourself just giving yourself the reward early & never doing the task

That’s because you need extra dopamine to even start a task b/c that’s just how your ADHD neurotype works

Something I’ve been helping my ADHD clients with attach dopamine to tasks:

My Before-During-After system

I could explain this in more detail on my blog/on video if y’all want

1) Bribe yourself with dopamine before the activity/task. Sweeten the deal for yourself.

This part is the hack to

Every “What wrong with the youth these days?” conversation needs to include a bullet point on the agenda focused on “Why are the older adults so mean to the youth?”

If this is how younger people are getting treated on average, I’m so disgusted

No wonder a lot of them will try to solve problems amongst themselves instead of getting advice from older folks if this is how older folks are engaging with them

Big yikes

I wear a mask everywhere & people can’t see my face and get a better sense of my age so they assume I’m a younger Black man and boy do I get treated like shit

I say things & some people will tune it out because they think I’m so much younger & they basically admit to it later

Chapter 15!

Covers the concept of biological rudeness as a way to explain misunderstandings & regular relationship conflicts from a somatic perspective AND how to repair a relationship after a misunderstanding/conflict using basic somatic strategies

queeringpsychology.com/2025/08/02/s...

Yeah and it’s breaking my heart every day

These are linked bsky.app/profile/prem...