Quintin Forbes
@quintin4bees.bsky.social
Q, yes, just Q. No, not Hugh, Q.
My Christmas cake has had so much brandy it's a fire hazard.
December 18, 2025 at 11:12 AM
My Christmas cake has had so much brandy it's a fire hazard.
Have you seen the price of alpaca sweaters? Where do alpacas get that kind of money?
December 13, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Have you seen the price of alpaca sweaters? Where do alpacas get that kind of money?
Q: What was born at Christmas and is also delicious on a cracker?
A: Baby Cheeses.
A: Baby Cheeses.
December 11, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Q: What was born at Christmas and is also delicious on a cracker?
A: Baby Cheeses.
A: Baby Cheeses.
As we enter the Christmas period, bear in mind that visitors my not want their cockles warmed.
December 11, 2025 at 1:35 PM
As we enter the Christmas period, bear in mind that visitors my not want their cockles warmed.
"That creepy guy that was in No Country for Old Men was making a racket in my pub last night."
"Javier Bardem?"
"No but I told him to pipe down."
"Javier Bardem?"
"No but I told him to pipe down."
December 8, 2025 at 8:58 PM
"That creepy guy that was in No Country for Old Men was making a racket in my pub last night."
"Javier Bardem?"
"No but I told him to pipe down."
"Javier Bardem?"
"No but I told him to pipe down."
What's the point in even having a cat if you don't use TikTok?
December 8, 2025 at 4:01 PM
What's the point in even having a cat if you don't use TikTok?
If you're out walking after dark, remember to wear something reflective. If you don't have a high vis jacket try a picture of a thoughtful monkey.
December 5, 2025 at 8:56 PM
If you're out walking after dark, remember to wear something reflective. If you don't have a high vis jacket try a picture of a thoughtful monkey.
A spiiiiiiiider has 8 i's
December 4, 2025 at 12:57 PM
A spiiiiiiiider has 8 i's
Last night I dreamt I was a giant bee. I'm still buzzin'
December 3, 2025 at 9:40 AM
Last night I dreamt I was a giant bee. I'm still buzzin'
Arthuritis (n) (med): an inflammation of the Arthur.
November 25, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Arthuritis (n) (med): an inflammation of the Arthur.
There are never enough opportunities in life to deploy the word 'Glands'.
November 24, 2025 at 1:51 PM
There are never enough opportunities in life to deploy the word 'Glands'.
Reposted by Quintin Forbes
I went drinking with a rabbit once, really let my hare down.
November 23, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I went drinking with a rabbit once, really let my hare down.
I went drinking with a rabbit once, really let my hare down.
November 23, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I went drinking with a rabbit once, really let my hare down.
There were a lot of songs about masturbation in the 70s. Bands would just go in the studio and knock one out.
November 20, 2025 at 11:43 PM
There were a lot of songs about masturbation in the 70s. Bands would just go in the studio and knock one out.
Reposted by Quintin Forbes
Hearing a crazy rumour about Clinton and Trump. I wonder if they saw it coming.
November 15, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Hearing a crazy rumour about Clinton and Trump. I wonder if they saw it coming.
Hearing a crazy rumour about Clinton and Trump. I wonder if they saw it coming.
November 15, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Hearing a crazy rumour about Clinton and Trump. I wonder if they saw it coming.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, why did He put your bum hole where you can't see it?
November 6, 2025 at 7:49 AM
If cleanliness is next to godliness, why did He put your bum hole where you can't see it?
My dog will attack if you criticise his violin playing but his Bach is worse than his bite.
November 5, 2025 at 5:08 PM
My dog will attack if you criticise his violin playing but his Bach is worse than his bite.
Fake chicken was invented before fake egg. Vegan evolution is way easier
October 29, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Fake chicken was invented before fake egg. Vegan evolution is way easier
There's never been a better time for an alien invasion.
October 29, 2025 at 9:34 PM
There's never been a better time for an alien invasion.
Reposted by Quintin Forbes
You never know which existential crisis will be your last.
October 23, 2025 at 10:12 PM
You never know which existential crisis will be your last.
You never know which existential crisis will be your last.
October 23, 2025 at 10:12 PM
You never know which existential crisis will be your last.
Text messages are the new brown envelope.
October 22, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Text messages are the new brown envelope.
There's a couple called Peter and Lee doing up a house in Homes Under the Hammer and they still haven't played Welcome Home. An opportunity missed.
October 17, 2025 at 10:41 AM
There's a couple called Peter and Lee doing up a house in Homes Under the Hammer and they still haven't played Welcome Home. An opportunity missed.