Free character concept: dragonborn himbo who wholeheartedly believes that a grudge match is when you have a grudge against someone who has a grudge against you, and kinda wanna punch their face in but can also cut the sexual tension with a knife, and it's the thing he's secretly questing for.

Quinoa is vegan tobiko.

Time machines are going to have retroactively broken so many father's noses someday.

You know if you wish a queer a "Merry Christmas," Jesus has to suck a dick. Do you want Jesus to suck dick? I sure do. Merry Christmas!

Saw someone's grandma in the produce section this morning absent-mindedly stroking a plastic wrapped cucumber like it reminded her of her long-dead husband. I love seeing tiny human moments like that.

Final Fantasy XIV has everything you could ever want. Ridiculously huge swords. Allegories for where we go as a society when the dead rule the living. Unreasonably cool dragons. Children becoming more than their bad dads. Muscle meowmmy who Mad Maxes a Jumanji train into a ball lighting fortress.

Wait, so if every day feels like one of those convoluted fetch quests from the Gameboy Zelda games, is that just ADHD?

I take two shits in the morning
I take two shits at night
I take two shits for the doctor man
He say, "it's IBS alright"

Wait a minute... Is puritanism just about convincing the world that their built-in supply of a substance that brings people together is somehow illegal? What the fuck?

Curiosity got the better of me, and I made hot Gatorade. I think I'm onto something here.

I think if cats could go pick up groceries, dogs would have way stiffer competition for the title of "man's best friend."

Why do gay men use the phrase "dick fuck" as a derogatory, like isn't that the kinda guy you're looking for?

Tipping culture normalizes the monetization of giving a shit.

Some music I listen too feels like effectively monetized depression, and I can't tell where that particular ouroboros begins and ends.

It seems like everyone drives like they hope they don't get where they're going. What's up with that?

The Internet has been all downhill since Bowsette.