Jaybird
@rabbiraccoon.bsky.social
Oh fuck, just realized I had a spot for a bio. Wannabe writer, RPG aficionado, and lover of theater. I love a good story more than just about anything. Natalie Greene is my soul sister. Probably not gonna post nudes. He/him. Simpsonville, SC
"What? You'd prefer I'd have sex near your son, or above your son? I don't see what the big deal is about me having sex with your son"
Children's Hospital deserves to be remembered as the comedic goldmine it was
Children's Hospital deserves to be remembered as the comedic goldmine it was
January 28, 2026 at 5:12 AM
"What? You'd prefer I'd have sex near your son, or above your son? I don't see what the big deal is about me having sex with your son"
Children's Hospital deserves to be remembered as the comedic goldmine it was
Children's Hospital deserves to be remembered as the comedic goldmine it was
Oh, nevermind. She sent out the wrong schedule. I should have known better. It was a good thing that happened to me
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 17 YEARS I WILL NOT BE WORKING DURING A SNOWSTORM PRAISE BE TO YEVON
January 21, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Oh, nevermind. She sent out the wrong schedule. I should have known better. It was a good thing that happened to me
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 17 YEARS I WILL NOT BE WORKING DURING A SNOWSTORM PRAISE BE TO YEVON
January 21, 2026 at 8:09 PM
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 17 YEARS I WILL NOT BE WORKING DURING A SNOWSTORM PRAISE BE TO YEVON
Gonna start signing off my e-mails with this
January 16, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Gonna start signing off my e-mails with this
A friend of mine has never had baked mac and cheese before so I'm going to rock his world tonight (in a non-sexy way (well, maybe sexy if you like cheese THAT MUCH (which I'm sure someone does (not that there's anything wrong with that))))
January 12, 2026 at 9:21 PM
A friend of mine has never had baked mac and cheese before so I'm going to rock his world tonight (in a non-sexy way (well, maybe sexy if you like cheese THAT MUCH (which I'm sure someone does (not that there's anything wrong with that))))
Weird Factoid For the Day: The number one song on the charts during the Cuban Missile Crisis was The Monster Mash
January 4, 2026 at 4:34 AM
Weird Factoid For the Day: The number one song on the charts during the Cuban Missile Crisis was The Monster Mash
I just got screamed at for asking for a man's ID because "I BET [I] WOULDN'T ASK AN ILLEGAL FOR THAT". Such a normal time to be alive
January 4, 2026 at 2:36 AM
I just got screamed at for asking for a man's ID because "I BET [I] WOULDN'T ASK AN ILLEGAL FOR THAT". Such a normal time to be alive
My New Year's Resolution is to start attending wine tastings and blowing raspberries whenever someone swirls their glass, does the little sippy thing, talks about it's legs, or spits in the bucket
January 1, 2026 at 2:47 AM
My New Year's Resolution is to start attending wine tastings and blowing raspberries whenever someone swirls their glass, does the little sippy thing, talks about it's legs, or spits in the bucket
Apparently I'm not as mysterious as I thought because a tongue-in-cheek fantasy novel and a sexy horror story is about as close to an ideal present as I can get
December 31, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Apparently I'm not as mysterious as I thought because a tongue-in-cheek fantasy novel and a sexy horror story is about as close to an ideal present as I can get
At work and going through my first hangover in almost 20 years. If any of you ever wanted to kill me now's a great time
December 30, 2025 at 1:49 AM
At work and going through my first hangover in almost 20 years. If any of you ever wanted to kill me now's a great time
I just woke up from a dream where I went to a restaurant that was just chefs perfecting grilled cheese experiments and they put them on a buffet thing for you to grab next to a sign saying what made that grilled cheese different and not gonna lie, my subconscious is a goddamn genius
December 28, 2025 at 3:05 PM
I just woke up from a dream where I went to a restaurant that was just chefs perfecting grilled cheese experiments and they put them on a buffet thing for you to grab next to a sign saying what made that grilled cheese different and not gonna lie, my subconscious is a goddamn genius
For the record I also did not have an affair with Michelle Obama
December 27, 2025 at 10:54 PM
For the record I also did not have an affair with Michelle Obama
It's bullshit that Vecna got to telekinetically fix his broken ankle and I had to have fucking S U R G E R Y
December 27, 2025 at 7:01 AM
It's bullshit that Vecna got to telekinetically fix his broken ankle and I had to have fucking S U R G E R Y
No but really why are Jonathon and Murray still on Stranger Things? What do they do?
December 26, 2025 at 1:35 AM
No but really why are Jonathon and Murray still on Stranger Things? What do they do?
Christmas Day and I drove home with the windows down. Did I move back to Florida and nobody told me?
December 25, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Christmas Day and I drove home with the windows down. Did I move back to Florida and nobody told me?
I'm gonna save every Chinese restaurant thousands of dollars in 2026. Don't order menus. We all know what we want
December 25, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I'm gonna save every Chinese restaurant thousands of dollars in 2026. Don't order menus. We all know what we want
I hope Santa came down everyone's Christmussy and left something behind
December 25, 2025 at 10:54 AM
I hope Santa came down everyone's Christmussy and left something behind
Stumble is easily my favorite new show of the season
December 24, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Stumble is easily my favorite new show of the season
Merry Christmas, y'all
December 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Merry Christmas, y'all
I'm so glad to have Melissa Peterman on my TV again. And I'm even happier she got to play with Carol Kane and Christopher Lloyd this week
December 21, 2025 at 5:55 AM
I'm so glad to have Melissa Peterman on my TV again. And I'm even happier she got to play with Carol Kane and Christopher Lloyd this week
My commute home was a half hour longer because some jackasses decided to race/drift/whatever on the road to my house and held everyone up. I bet their dicks are ENORMOUS
December 21, 2025 at 5:39 AM
My commute home was a half hour longer because some jackasses decided to race/drift/whatever on the road to my house and held everyone up. I bet their dicks are ENORMOUS
Me when you're on fire and what if you meant to be on fire and I'm an idiot for assuming otherwise
December 19, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Me when you're on fire and what if you meant to be on fire and I'm an idiot for assuming otherwise
The people who got pissy about Liberals not hysterically sobbing and mourning Charlie Kirk are quick to defend the worst carrot of all time
December 15, 2025 at 11:51 PM
The people who got pissy about Liberals not hysterically sobbing and mourning Charlie Kirk are quick to defend the worst carrot of all time