Richard Houghton
@rahoughto.bsky.social
Actor, screenwriter, producer, immersive video maker.
I’ve made a decent living holding meetings where people watch me type. It’s like a magic show, but slower and with more typos.
November 7, 2025 at 12:18 PM
I’ve made a decent living holding meetings where people watch me type. It’s like a magic show, but slower and with more typos.
Started a book on antimatter. Now my bookshelf is gone, my coffee’s gone, and I think I’m gone. Great read, though.
November 6, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Started a book on antimatter. Now my bookshelf is gone, my coffee’s gone, and I think I’m gone. Great read, though.
The wolf tried to fool the flock with a sheep disguise,
But the pigs took his house—those guys are so wise!
But the pigs took his house—those guys are so wise!
November 5, 2025 at 12:06 PM
The wolf tried to fool the flock with a sheep disguise,
But the pigs took his house—those guys are so wise!
But the pigs took his house—those guys are so wise!
Only chipmunks climb the corporate ladder; the rest of us are just trying to avoid the ER.
November 4, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Only chipmunks climb the corporate ladder; the rest of us are just trying to avoid the ER.
I only support policies that allow me not to do anything.
November 3, 2025 at 12:41 PM
I only support policies that allow me not to do anything.
When I was a young street thug, swiping credit cards had a different meaning.
November 2, 2025 at 1:10 PM
When I was a young street thug, swiping credit cards had a different meaning.
Why just lip gloss? Why not eye gloss? Or nose gloss? Or ear gloss?
November 1, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Why just lip gloss? Why not eye gloss? Or nose gloss? Or ear gloss?
I think our moat dragon is having a negative effect on trick-or-treaters. The good news is, fewer kids — the bad news is, more knights.
October 31, 2025 at 12:26 PM
I think our moat dragon is having a negative effect on trick-or-treaters. The good news is, fewer kids — the bad news is, more knights.
A dog is all it takes to turn an average day into an awesome one.
October 30, 2025 at 11:05 AM
A dog is all it takes to turn an average day into an awesome one.
Puppy breath is exactly the right temperature.
October 29, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Puppy breath is exactly the right temperature.
I became obsessed with wombats in the fifth grade. Sadly, the wombats didn't even know about me.
October 28, 2025 at 11:12 AM
I became obsessed with wombats in the fifth grade. Sadly, the wombats didn't even know about me.
When I was a kid, I tried to have my room reclassified as an oddities museum. Mom said no—mostly because of what was in the jars.
October 26, 2025 at 1:43 PM
When I was a kid, I tried to have my room reclassified as an oddities museum. Mom said no—mostly because of what was in the jars.
I support daily paid tater tot breaks. If you're allergic to tots, you can smoke.
October 25, 2025 at 1:45 PM
I support daily paid tater tot breaks. If you're allergic to tots, you can smoke.
“Let’s circle back” hits harder than any punch. That’s when I start looking for the nearest tap-out mat—or window.
October 24, 2025 at 12:33 PM
“Let’s circle back” hits harder than any punch. That’s when I start looking for the nearest tap-out mat—or window.
How do cows stay up to date on current events?
Cudcasts
Cudcasts
October 23, 2025 at 11:07 AM
How do cows stay up to date on current events?
Cudcasts
Cudcasts
The day before everyone quit they filled the candy machine with fresh fruit.
October 22, 2025 at 11:04 AM
The day before everyone quit they filled the candy machine with fresh fruit.
My perfect record of not eating another creature’s liver will stay unbroken—at least until I join the undead.
October 21, 2025 at 11:07 AM
My perfect record of not eating another creature’s liver will stay unbroken—at least until I join the undead.
My night terrors are causing havoc for my wife's sleep patterns. Nothing kills her sleep faster than a grown man screaming ‘HELP, THE GOATS!’ in his sleep.
October 20, 2025 at 12:19 PM
My night terrors are causing havoc for my wife's sleep patterns. Nothing kills her sleep faster than a grown man screaming ‘HELP, THE GOATS!’ in his sleep.
Iced coffee doesn’t do it anymore. Maybe boiling hot ice cream will remind me what feeling alive used to be like.
October 19, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Iced coffee doesn’t do it anymore. Maybe boiling hot ice cream will remind me what feeling alive used to be like.
Most of the extras from The Love Boat are in the necrotic corpse stage and trending toward dust.
October 18, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Most of the extras from The Love Boat are in the necrotic corpse stage and trending toward dust.
People always tell me that the snake is more afraid of me than I am of it. I doubt that snake just peed a little when he saw me.
October 17, 2025 at 12:17 PM
People always tell me that the snake is more afraid of me than I am of it. I doubt that snake just peed a little when he saw me.
I can’t be the only one who leans into turns—like my weight is the missing piece of engineering.
October 16, 2025 at 11:03 AM
I can’t be the only one who leans into turns—like my weight is the missing piece of engineering.
I’d make a great demotivational speaker—people would quit halfway through my presentation.
October 15, 2025 at 12:43 PM
I’d make a great demotivational speaker—people would quit halfway through my presentation.
I’ll take monarchs over oligarchs any day. One has absolute power, the other has pretty wings.
October 14, 2025 at 11:15 AM
I’ll take monarchs over oligarchs any day. One has absolute power, the other has pretty wings.
I just spent eight hours solving work problems in my dreams. I figure that entitles me to take tomorrow off as paid overtime.
October 13, 2025 at 12:39 PM
I just spent eight hours solving work problems in my dreams. I figure that entitles me to take tomorrow off as paid overtime.