randumshitposter.bsky.social
@randumshitposter.bsky.social
Imagine getting to hang out with Sheryl Crow in a bar one day and showing her all your cool match burning tricks and then later you found out she wrote a song about you and you’re all pumped up and excited and put it on and she straight up calls you “plain ugly to me” 😭😭😭
December 24, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Imagine getting to hang out with Sheryl Crow in a bar one day and showing her all your cool match burning tricks and then later you found out she wrote a song about you and you’re all pumped up and excited and put it on and she straight up calls you “plain ugly to me” 😭😭😭
Shrek👏knows👏where👏the👏clit👏is👏
December 10, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Shrek👏knows👏where👏the👏clit👏is👏
My father always said “Boy, one day you’re gonna have to get stabbed by a deaf grease truck driver that you have been assaulting and cornering in an Indianapolis alleyway. But that’s part of what being a man is all about.”
Never knew what that really meant before now.
Never knew what that really meant before now.
October 6, 2025 at 9:40 PM
My father always said “Boy, one day you’re gonna have to get stabbed by a deaf grease truck driver that you have been assaulting and cornering in an Indianapolis alleyway. But that’s part of what being a man is all about.”
Never knew what that really meant before now.
Never knew what that really meant before now.
I’m such a hoe knight I went to Camelot and Camealot 💦
July 16, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I’m such a hoe knight I went to Camelot and Camealot 💦
When I die I hope I get reincarnated as a golden retriever that gets to lick peanut butter of my owners genitals
June 24, 2025 at 10:20 PM
When I die I hope I get reincarnated as a golden retriever that gets to lick peanut butter of my owners genitals
I’ve cummed my entire body weight in cum since I started cumming
I know this because it congealed itself back together in the sewer pipes
It then formed my exact cum double in man form and tried to fight me
I won
Obviously
I know this because it congealed itself back together in the sewer pipes
It then formed my exact cum double in man form and tried to fight me
I won
Obviously
May 29, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I’ve cummed my entire body weight in cum since I started cumming
I know this because it congealed itself back together in the sewer pipes
It then formed my exact cum double in man form and tried to fight me
I won
Obviously
I know this because it congealed itself back together in the sewer pipes
It then formed my exact cum double in man form and tried to fight me
I won
Obviously
The last time Halliburton dropped a bomb that big was in Iraq
May 22, 2025 at 3:24 AM
The last time Halliburton dropped a bomb that big was in Iraq
Watching a beautiful woman eat a delicious looking meal only to turn around and turn it into a huge steaming pile of crap is honestly shlocking and disturbing ITS TIME FOR THE PATRIARCHY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!
May 12, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Watching a beautiful woman eat a delicious looking meal only to turn around and turn it into a huge steaming pile of crap is honestly shlocking and disturbing ITS TIME FOR THE PATRIARCHY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!
There’s a non zero chance the pope prayed for god to help the White Sox win the 2005 World Series and god said okay sure
May 10, 2025 at 1:37 AM
There’s a non zero chance the pope prayed for god to help the White Sox win the 2005 World Series and god said okay sure
Me: shit bro I was mixing lsd, mdma, mushrooms, k, coke, all night long baby know what im sayin?!
Literally God aka Alpha/Omega: oh shit for real?! Nice bro!
Me: ya then I came so hard my heart exploded
God: oh man lol, ya saw that, too funny, anyway ima send you back as a armadillo, huge cocks
Literally God aka Alpha/Omega: oh shit for real?! Nice bro!
Me: ya then I came so hard my heart exploded
God: oh man lol, ya saw that, too funny, anyway ima send you back as a armadillo, huge cocks
May 8, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Me: shit bro I was mixing lsd, mdma, mushrooms, k, coke, all night long baby know what im sayin?!
Literally God aka Alpha/Omega: oh shit for real?! Nice bro!
Me: ya then I came so hard my heart exploded
God: oh man lol, ya saw that, too funny, anyway ima send you back as a armadillo, huge cocks
Literally God aka Alpha/Omega: oh shit for real?! Nice bro!
Me: ya then I came so hard my heart exploded
God: oh man lol, ya saw that, too funny, anyway ima send you back as a armadillo, huge cocks
I bet I’d love heroin and I’d be really good at it
March 31, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I bet I’d love heroin and I’d be really good at it
Currently getting escorted off of Disney premises cause I “sexually harassed” a cast member
But Mrs incredible’s ass was 100% foam so that shouldn’t even count!
BULLSHIT
But Mrs incredible’s ass was 100% foam so that shouldn’t even count!
BULLSHIT
March 25, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Currently getting escorted off of Disney premises cause I “sexually harassed” a cast member
But Mrs incredible’s ass was 100% foam so that shouldn’t even count!
BULLSHIT
But Mrs incredible’s ass was 100% foam so that shouldn’t even count!
BULLSHIT
Me when I see sport guy do bad: “pathetic”
Me when I see smart guy be dumb: “pathetic”
Me when I see porn guy make small cum: “pathetic”
Don’t ever look bad in front of me or else
Me when I see smart guy be dumb: “pathetic”
Me when I see porn guy make small cum: “pathetic”
Don’t ever look bad in front of me or else
March 18, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Me when I see sport guy do bad: “pathetic”
Me when I see smart guy be dumb: “pathetic”
Me when I see porn guy make small cum: “pathetic”
Don’t ever look bad in front of me or else
Me when I see smart guy be dumb: “pathetic”
Me when I see porn guy make small cum: “pathetic”
Don’t ever look bad in front of me or else
What if ladies could eat the cum that goes into their pussies like their uterus was a stomach in a pinch if they were really hungry…
February 21, 2025 at 6:55 AM
What if ladies could eat the cum that goes into their pussies like their uterus was a stomach in a pinch if they were really hungry…
I’ve been informed calling my ops fans “gay retards” isn’t helping the situation
February 20, 2025 at 11:51 PM
I’ve been informed calling my ops fans “gay retards” isn’t helping the situation
I opened my third eye and pulled back the vail of reality to view myself from a distance
My boner looks so small from up here
My boner looks so small from up here
February 4, 2025 at 1:57 PM
I opened my third eye and pulled back the vail of reality to view myself from a distance
My boner looks so small from up here
My boner looks so small from up here
I was watching a beautiful young woman pick her nose next to me at a red light
She didn’t know anyone was watching
But I was
It felt so voyeuristic and perverse
She really went deep
Finally she noticed me staring and panicking ran the red light
Don’t know what happened to the booger
She didn’t know anyone was watching
But I was
It felt so voyeuristic and perverse
She really went deep
Finally she noticed me staring and panicking ran the red light
Don’t know what happened to the booger
January 23, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I was watching a beautiful young woman pick her nose next to me at a red light
She didn’t know anyone was watching
But I was
It felt so voyeuristic and perverse
She really went deep
Finally she noticed me staring and panicking ran the red light
Don’t know what happened to the booger
She didn’t know anyone was watching
But I was
It felt so voyeuristic and perverse
She really went deep
Finally she noticed me staring and panicking ran the red light
Don’t know what happened to the booger
I’m shit maxing to my full potential now!
I am crushing BLOCKS of cheddar!
Doing FULL shits that take HOURS to push out!
ROCK HARD THE WHOLE TIME
When you shit max you should be cumming to!
Also fyi I am no longer associated with any piss maxing groups DO NOT ask about it you will be blocked!
I am crushing BLOCKS of cheddar!
Doing FULL shits that take HOURS to push out!
ROCK HARD THE WHOLE TIME
When you shit max you should be cumming to!
Also fyi I am no longer associated with any piss maxing groups DO NOT ask about it you will be blocked!
January 22, 2025 at 4:43 PM
I’m shit maxing to my full potential now!
I am crushing BLOCKS of cheddar!
Doing FULL shits that take HOURS to push out!
ROCK HARD THE WHOLE TIME
When you shit max you should be cumming to!
Also fyi I am no longer associated with any piss maxing groups DO NOT ask about it you will be blocked!
I am crushing BLOCKS of cheddar!
Doing FULL shits that take HOURS to push out!
ROCK HARD THE WHOLE TIME
When you shit max you should be cumming to!
Also fyi I am no longer associated with any piss maxing groups DO NOT ask about it you will be blocked!
Been saving all my cum in a bucket AS A JOKE to use in an elaborate prank..
but as the years have gone on I’ve become really attached to my cum bucket and I don’t think I can just throw it all away on an unsuspecting target…
Any advice would be great, it’s starting to smell BAD!
but as the years have gone on I’ve become really attached to my cum bucket and I don’t think I can just throw it all away on an unsuspecting target…
Any advice would be great, it’s starting to smell BAD!
January 17, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Been saving all my cum in a bucket AS A JOKE to use in an elaborate prank..
but as the years have gone on I’ve become really attached to my cum bucket and I don’t think I can just throw it all away on an unsuspecting target…
Any advice would be great, it’s starting to smell BAD!
but as the years have gone on I’ve become really attached to my cum bucket and I don’t think I can just throw it all away on an unsuspecting target…
Any advice would be great, it’s starting to smell BAD!
Call me puritanical but if my olives aren’t extra virgin then I’m not gonna fuck them!
January 10, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Call me puritanical but if my olives aren’t extra virgin then I’m not gonna fuck them!
I would literally just kick Nosferatu’s ass it would be so easy for me
December 30, 2024 at 4:07 AM
I would literally just kick Nosferatu’s ass it would be so easy for me
Elves are so stoic and pretentious like fuck off who the fuck do you think you fucking are you fucking fucks
December 26, 2024 at 6:50 AM
Elves are so stoic and pretentious like fuck off who the fuck do you think you fucking are you fucking fucks
Drew breeze got that scar from eating pussy
December 26, 2024 at 12:01 AM
Drew breeze got that scar from eating pussy
Santa Claus is cummin?!?
December 21, 2024 at 5:56 AM
Santa Claus is cummin?!?
When the Americans take over Canada will we all be forced to wear our shoes inside our homes?
December 11, 2024 at 11:05 PM
When the Americans take over Canada will we all be forced to wear our shoes inside our homes?