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randyis.online
Randy Is (Too) Online
@randyis.online
360 followers 370 following 870 posts
"When in the course of human events" is right now.

He/Him
Fall River, MA
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randyis.online
December 24, 2025 at 5:12 AM
randyis.online
My Best Idea Ever - A Story in Two Images
Spice - A Female Raccoon A human hand is holding a tiny female Raccoon kit. She is adorable and I love her. I would kill six random strangers for Spice. She is somehow rated five stars. Sevstars seems more appropriate. She is Available and Ready to Go!! Available PayPal balance: $203.40 Well that's convenient as Hell, isn't it. Transfer? Add Money? No need!
December 22, 2025 at 11:13 PM
randyis.online
Feliz Navidiad
No eggnog
MORE KOOL-AID (Oh yeah!)
Lil Jon pouring red Kool-Aid into a fountain. The pitcher is, of course, a Kool-Aid pitcher. The actual Kool-Aid Man is off to the right, cheering him on. If you have not encountered the song "All I Really Want For Christmas" by Lil Jon featuring the Kool-Aid Man, stop doomscrolling Bluesky and search it up.
December 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
randyis.online
SouthCoast peeps,

Come support the BMC Durfee winter performance ensembles and get a burrito. AT THE SAME TIME!
DO GOOD WITH CHIPOTLE [Image of some cylinder that appears to be wrapped in aluminum foil. Probably a burrito, but there are no guarantees.] Chipotle fundraiser for B.M.C. Durfee High School Marching Band 25% of event sales get donated to the cause. SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20TH 4-8PM 575 Newton St. Fall River, MA 02721 Order online for pickup using code BKEYP6D or show this flyer in restaurant. [Chipotle Logo] Then the font gets tiny: For online orders to count towards the fundraiser, they must be placed for pickup only from the restaurant location of, and during the hours of the fundraiser. Delivery orders and gift cards do not qualify. $150 minimum event sales required to receive any donation.
December 12, 2025 at 8:04 PM
randyis.online
Screenshot from Twitter Josh @iwearaonesie Wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [Flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] Me: I'm having an affair.
December 4, 2025 at 6:36 PM
randyis.online
Facebook "report" function: What's going on? It's annoying or not interesting I'm in this photo and I don't like it I think it shouldn't be on Facebook It's spam The radio button to the left of "I'm in this photo and I don't like it " is selected.
December 1, 2025 at 7:28 PM
randyis.online
"Oof" meme. Older man making a grimacing face. Behind him a washing machine dial set to large. The dial is labeled "OUEF SIZE."
November 30, 2025 at 2:23 PM
randyis.online
Kraft Russian Roulette anybody?
Three boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. (Kraft Dinner for those celebrating Canadian Colombus Day today) A red box of Pizza Flavored, the traditional blue box of Cheese Flavored and a green box of Apple Pie. I only made the Pizza one today. Somehow, the box of Apple Pie flavor I made last week was less gross.
November 27, 2025 at 9:19 PM
randyis.online
I can't wait to see how re-electing three existing board members and adding three more who took donations from one of the incumbents's campaign funds will make this situation better over the next two years. 🍿
Herald News Now Fall River School System Deficit May Have Been Around $7M and Council Wants Answers
November 19, 2025 at 4:10 PM
randyis.online
Dont listen to @bencollins.bsky.social, this is the only acceptable Massachusetts Chinese-food-turned-sandwich
Fall River Chow Mein Sandwich Beef, onions, peppers and gravy with crispy Chow Mein noodles. Served on a white hamburger bun. Obviously.
November 19, 2025 at 1:02 AM
randyis.online
Whiteboard Puzzle Time!

Intentionally UNhelpful Hint: Square Numbers?
Whiteboard puzzle. What number is next in this sequence? 1, 3, 3, 2, 1, BLANK
November 18, 2025 at 4:04 PM
randyis.online
Here's something that the residents of Chicago, Detroit, New York and Naples can all agree on.

Fuck this sign.
Highway sign Welcome to Connecticut Home of tbr Pizza Capital of the United States Governor Ned Lamont
November 9, 2025 at 5:27 PM
randyis.online
Don't mind me. Just getting the last remainder of the bitter out of my system.
Panel from a Jack Chick Tract. Top of panel: "Most people rejected his message." Character on the left, entirely in shadows is saying "Fall River's schools are not a war zone and we can make them better if we all work together." The shadowy character is speaking to an angry crowd of men dressed in clothes from 'biblical times.' One angry man tells him to "shut up!"
November 6, 2025 at 3:34 PM
randyis.online
The candy bowl from our work Halloween display.

"You Got To Our House Too Late."

AKA, "Fuck it. The IT Department doesn't have time for your little office politics Halloween contest."
A cheap plastic bucket of Hannah Barbera "sugar sticks," No-brand sour gumballs, Orange and black wrapped mystery taffy, Pik-o-Stix and Market Basket brand raisins. The table also has two cheap plastic chains on an orange tablecloth. There are two empty plastic bags of "good" candy. No good candy is to be found. A white card says that we are out Trick-Or-Treating with our families and to only take one. Nobody took any. There is a CD Boombox. It was playing Monster Mash on repeat. The CD sounded like it was skipping.
October 31, 2025 at 9:59 PM
randyis.online
The Gerthounds' final record across Kelly's four years as head coach: 64-54, capped by a school-best 23-win season in 1987.
October 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
randyis.online
Nazi punks fuck off.
Yankee Stadium holding a moment of silence the day of the death of a Nazi influencer, for some reason. Two uniformed Yankee players and an unidentified man in black sweatclothes are standing on the field. As a 40+ year Yankee fan, fuck this team with a rusty statue of David Ortiz.
October 9, 2025 at 2:31 AM
randyis.online
Reported.
Reporting image messgae: What's going on? * It's annoying or not interesting * I'm in this photo and I don't like it * I think it should be on Facebook * It's spam The radio button for "I'm in this photo and I dont like it" is selected.
September 26, 2025 at 4:43 PM
randyis.online
Actually, you fucking putz, many of us do know what's going on AND who was one of the first mainstream media figures to normalize it.
A horrifically unfunny douchebag playfully ruffles the hair of a different unfunny douchebag. Nobody else laughed. A lot of people suffered.
September 19, 2025 at 6:09 PM
randyis.online
Pointing mannequin meme. Mannequin in the back is pointing at the closer mannequin who appears to be crying. "This motherfucker thinks we are having fair elections in 2026."
September 18, 2025 at 6:00 PM
randyis.online
"I can't belive they stuck us at "Tax-a-chusetts."
September 16, 2025 at 8:49 PM
randyis.online
Not funny, Yona.
Text message from one of my daughters: "I was thinking of having a Halloween costume like this..." Beneath, a picture of the most haunted creature to ever walk the face of the earth. Humpty Dumpty from 1970s/80s Sesame Street and Muppet News Flash. This abomination has giant, yet somehow also closed eyes that have witnessed uncountable horrors. Giant red lips and terrifyingly oversized teeth take up about 50% of the monstrosity's cursed visage and clearly yearn to snack on lost souls. Three-year old me was right to run from the room whenever this wretched abomination manifested itself on the screen of my television like Public Broadcasting's felt-covered version of Sadako Takahashi.
September 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
randyis.online
Doctor I trust more than RFK Jr.
Dr Faygo Genuine Dee-licious
September 7, 2025 at 5:14 PM
randyis.online
Screenshot from the Simpsons. Bart has just taken a taste of a chutney Squishee and is not enjoying it. "Off camera," Apu is excitedly telling him "You can really taste the chutney."
September 5, 2025 at 6:26 PM
randyis.online
Eh.

Close enough.
Guster (Ryan Miller, Adam Gardner. Brian Rosenworcel, Luke Reynolds and Joe Pisapia) performing "Jesus on the Rado" on the small stage (shown in the previous skeet) during their set at the On The Ocean festival in Portland, ME. August 9
August 10, 2025 at 1:16 AM
randyis.online
We're here, @brianrosenworcel.bsky.social. What time does the Thundergod autograph session begin?
Guster Presents: On The Ocean 2025. We are sitting directly behind what appears to be some sort of stage that hasn't been here in years past. Behind that, the main stage. The backdrop says Guster's On The Ocean Portland 2025. On the left a sun. On the right, the moon. Not to put any pressure on Brian, but Luke already took a picture with my wife and daughter.
August 9, 2025 at 9:27 PM