Five things I did last week …
1. Wake up
2. Brush my teeth
3. Sign autographs
4. Your mom
5. Donate my Elon Sux-mobile to NPR

oh, youre here from tik tok? (chuckle's lightly ) Is that like reddit for babies

You’ll probably see this screenshot floating around a lot but it really was wonderful to see Lynch put a scene in Twin Peaks: The Return where he has his character literally stare at the camera and say that you should either support trans people or die. I needed to hear that in 2017

Fuck Tuah

responding to all the dm bots with a gif of mc lovin saying "I have a boner" !!!!!! To own them !!!!

fund your fire and ems departments, defund the police

insects who prefer warmer weather? why the fuck are you so sensitive all of a sudden. your entire body has like 2 nerves in it. you are shit

Nosferatu watching Rent:
Benjamin WHAT the Third????🧛🏻‍♂️

voodoo doughnut employee: which doughnut do you want?

me:

Watching A Muppet Christmas Carol and I really need Steve Martin and Martin Short to do a Statler and Waldorf costume next Halloween

I'm not good at anything. I dont do anything. I dont know anything. But I know this: Certain forces are out of control

We're just innocent men

I made it bitches. Now let's destroy the patriarchy