Red Delicious Apple Facts
@reddelapplehate.bsky.social
Partly this account is to talk shit about the physical manifestation of soul crushing disappointment that is the Red Delicious Apple.
Partly to post things that make me laugh. Unfortunately I find me funny. So here we are.
Partly to post things that make me laugh. Unfortunately I find me funny. So here we are.
Pinned
Customer: “Where can I find the fresh local tomatoes?”
I look out the window at a foot of snow.
Me: “August.”
I look out the window at a foot of snow.
Me: “August.”
You’re multi-annual reminder to not be a dick this holiday season.
I’d give anything for human decency to become common decency again.
Until then.
If I see you yelling at store employees over stupid shit. Someone is going to be holding a phone and yelling worldstar real fucking fast like it’s 09.
I’d give anything for human decency to become common decency again.
Until then.
If I see you yelling at store employees over stupid shit. Someone is going to be holding a phone and yelling worldstar real fucking fast like it’s 09.
December 23, 2025 at 4:27 AM
You’re multi-annual reminder to not be a dick this holiday season.
I’d give anything for human decency to become common decency again.
Until then.
If I see you yelling at store employees over stupid shit. Someone is going to be holding a phone and yelling worldstar real fucking fast like it’s 09.
I’d give anything for human decency to become common decency again.
Until then.
If I see you yelling at store employees over stupid shit. Someone is going to be holding a phone and yelling worldstar real fucking fast like it’s 09.
December 21, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Micah. Take my ACL. Take both in case you need a spare. Take whatever you need.
I’d probably stay away from the kidneys and liver, but everything other than that is pretty solid.
Go Pack Go!
I’d probably stay away from the kidneys and liver, but everything other than that is pretty solid.
Go Pack Go!
December 17, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Micah. Take my ACL. Take both in case you need a spare. Take whatever you need.
I’d probably stay away from the kidneys and liver, but everything other than that is pretty solid.
Go Pack Go!
I’d probably stay away from the kidneys and liver, but everything other than that is pretty solid.
Go Pack Go!
Before I get lost in my work day. Go Pack Go!
My sister is a Broncos fan. You gotta get this W for me.
My sister is a Broncos fan. You gotta get this W for me.
December 14, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Before I get lost in my work day. Go Pack Go!
My sister is a Broncos fan. You gotta get this W for me.
My sister is a Broncos fan. You gotta get this W for me.
Medical professionals in charge of writing prescriptions. If hallucinations are a side effect. Give a motherfucker a heads up ok? Because me seeing bright orbs in my bedroom is not a common occurrence for me.
College was a long time ago…if you know what I mean.
College was a long time ago…if you know what I mean.
December 9, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Medical professionals in charge of writing prescriptions. If hallucinations are a side effect. Give a motherfucker a heads up ok? Because me seeing bright orbs in my bedroom is not a common occurrence for me.
College was a long time ago…if you know what I mean.
College was a long time ago…if you know what I mean.
Today I regret to report that I no longer manage a produce department. So I can no longer supply my local community with apples.
I’ve transferred to a different department.
But don’t you worry, I’ll still be here hating red delicious apples.
I’ve transferred to a different department.
But don’t you worry, I’ll still be here hating red delicious apples.
December 7, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Today I regret to report that I no longer manage a produce department. So I can no longer supply my local community with apples.
I’ve transferred to a different department.
But don’t you worry, I’ll still be here hating red delicious apples.
I’ve transferred to a different department.
But don’t you worry, I’ll still be here hating red delicious apples.
What is a hill I’m willing to die on?
I will never dry the inside of the basket for my air fryer. I always pour out the rinse. Dry the outside and then stick it in my air fryer and turn it on for 3 minutes.
Actually, in retrospect that is a poor environmental practice.
OK, you win. I’ll stop.
I will never dry the inside of the basket for my air fryer. I always pour out the rinse. Dry the outside and then stick it in my air fryer and turn it on for 3 minutes.
Actually, in retrospect that is a poor environmental practice.
OK, you win. I’ll stop.
December 4, 2025 at 10:48 PM
What is a hill I’m willing to die on?
I will never dry the inside of the basket for my air fryer. I always pour out the rinse. Dry the outside and then stick it in my air fryer and turn it on for 3 minutes.
Actually, in retrospect that is a poor environmental practice.
OK, you win. I’ll stop.
I will never dry the inside of the basket for my air fryer. I always pour out the rinse. Dry the outside and then stick it in my air fryer and turn it on for 3 minutes.
Actually, in retrospect that is a poor environmental practice.
OK, you win. I’ll stop.
Eagles. I don’t say this often, but if you could win tonight so the Bears get knocked out of #1 in the NFC North that would be great.
November 28, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Eagles. I don’t say this often, but if you could win tonight so the Bears get knocked out of #1 in the NFC North that would be great.
I got home from getting a needle stuck in my ass at Roswell. Excited to watch Stranger Things S5 as my “reward” for being a big kid and taking my medicine.
It doesn’t come out until 8pm.
How can you do this to me @netflix.com ?
Having cancer is one thing, but this is a Greek fucking tragedy.
It doesn’t come out until 8pm.
How can you do this to me @netflix.com ?
Having cancer is one thing, but this is a Greek fucking tragedy.
Disappointment Disappointed GIF
ALT: Disappointment Disappointed GIF
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 1:58 PM
I got home from getting a needle stuck in my ass at Roswell. Excited to watch Stranger Things S5 as my “reward” for being a big kid and taking my medicine.
It doesn’t come out until 8pm.
How can you do this to me @netflix.com ?
Having cancer is one thing, but this is a Greek fucking tragedy.
It doesn’t come out until 8pm.
How can you do this to me @netflix.com ?
Having cancer is one thing, but this is a Greek fucking tragedy.
Fun fact.
The full quote is “The customer is always right in matters of taste.”
Meaning if a customer wants to spend money on something you find hideous don’t talk them out of it. Get paid.
It has never been “The customer is always right.”
The full quote is “The customer is always right in matters of taste.”
Meaning if a customer wants to spend money on something you find hideous don’t talk them out of it. Get paid.
It has never been “The customer is always right.”
November 26, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Fun fact.
The full quote is “The customer is always right in matters of taste.”
Meaning if a customer wants to spend money on something you find hideous don’t talk them out of it. Get paid.
It has never been “The customer is always right.”
The full quote is “The customer is always right in matters of taste.”
Meaning if a customer wants to spend money on something you find hideous don’t talk them out of it. Get paid.
It has never been “The customer is always right.”
Yesterday at the store I saw people hit people with their carts, scream at employees because a sale ended when it was advertised to end, and push past other people, amongst other aggressions.
Don’t blame the world for your poor planning preparing for thanksgiving.
It costs nothing to be nice.
Don’t blame the world for your poor planning preparing for thanksgiving.
It costs nothing to be nice.
November 26, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Yesterday at the store I saw people hit people with their carts, scream at employees because a sale ended when it was advertised to end, and push past other people, amongst other aggressions.
Don’t blame the world for your poor planning preparing for thanksgiving.
It costs nothing to be nice.
Don’t blame the world for your poor planning preparing for thanksgiving.
It costs nothing to be nice.
Managing produce during thanksgiving week is brutal. Everything hurts from constant heavy lifting to get product in carts.
Still not as bad as when my wife takes us to Disney and wants to open and close every single park.
That is where true pain lies.
Still not as bad as when my wife takes us to Disney and wants to open and close every single park.
That is where true pain lies.
November 25, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Managing produce during thanksgiving week is brutal. Everything hurts from constant heavy lifting to get product in carts.
Still not as bad as when my wife takes us to Disney and wants to open and close every single park.
That is where true pain lies.
Still not as bad as when my wife takes us to Disney and wants to open and close every single park.
That is where true pain lies.
Can someone send this to Matt LaFleur?
I have a fool proof plan for beating the lions.
1. If it’s working. Keep doing it.
2. If it’s not working. Stop doing it.
3. Tell Micah and Rashan that I heard Goff was calling them “no talent hacks.” Not my words.
4. Remind Jordan that it’s Toyotathon.
I have a fool proof plan for beating the lions.
1. If it’s working. Keep doing it.
2. If it’s not working. Stop doing it.
3. Tell Micah and Rashan that I heard Goff was calling them “no talent hacks.” Not my words.
4. Remind Jordan that it’s Toyotathon.
November 25, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Can someone send this to Matt LaFleur?
I have a fool proof plan for beating the lions.
1. If it’s working. Keep doing it.
2. If it’s not working. Stop doing it.
3. Tell Micah and Rashan that I heard Goff was calling them “no talent hacks.” Not my words.
4. Remind Jordan that it’s Toyotathon.
I have a fool proof plan for beating the lions.
1. If it’s working. Keep doing it.
2. If it’s not working. Stop doing it.
3. Tell Micah and Rashan that I heard Goff was calling them “no talent hacks.” Not my words.
4. Remind Jordan that it’s Toyotathon.
Saw a customer wearing an Impeach Trump pin yesterday. I’ve never wanted to high five a customer so bad.
Not a single MAGA hat for a week. It’s been lovely.
Not a single MAGA hat for a week. It’s been lovely.
November 25, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Saw a customer wearing an Impeach Trump pin yesterday. I’ve never wanted to high five a customer so bad.
Not a single MAGA hat for a week. It’s been lovely.
Not a single MAGA hat for a week. It’s been lovely.
Here we go again.
Customer: Where can I get fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Well it’s November. So probably Central America I think.
Customer: That was a stupid question. Sorry. Where can I get good quality, but less fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Now we are talking. Follow me. I got you.
Customer: Where can I get fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Well it’s November. So probably Central America I think.
Customer: That was a stupid question. Sorry. Where can I get good quality, but less fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Now we are talking. Follow me. I got you.
November 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Here we go again.
Customer: Where can I get fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Well it’s November. So probably Central America I think.
Customer: That was a stupid question. Sorry. Where can I get good quality, but less fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Now we are talking. Follow me. I got you.
Customer: Where can I get fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Well it’s November. So probably Central America I think.
Customer: That was a stupid question. Sorry. Where can I get good quality, but less fresh corn on the cob?
Me: Now we are talking. Follow me. I got you.
To my neighbor mowing his lawn yesterday.
Bud. It’s late November. The grass is dead. You can pack it in now.
Bud. It’s late November. The grass is dead. You can pack it in now.
November 23, 2025 at 1:22 PM
To my neighbor mowing his lawn yesterday.
Bud. It’s late November. The grass is dead. You can pack it in now.
Bud. It’s late November. The grass is dead. You can pack it in now.
Dear Packers,
Please don’t lose to the Vikings today. We’ve had a rocky relationship this year. Some loses that shouldn’t have happened (I’m looking at you special teams). Let’s start fresh by sweeping the division for the rest of the year? Doesn’t that sound nice?
Go Pack Go!
Please don’t lose to the Vikings today. We’ve had a rocky relationship this year. Some loses that shouldn’t have happened (I’m looking at you special teams). Let’s start fresh by sweeping the division for the rest of the year? Doesn’t that sound nice?
Go Pack Go!
November 23, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Dear Packers,
Please don’t lose to the Vikings today. We’ve had a rocky relationship this year. Some loses that shouldn’t have happened (I’m looking at you special teams). Let’s start fresh by sweeping the division for the rest of the year? Doesn’t that sound nice?
Go Pack Go!
Please don’t lose to the Vikings today. We’ve had a rocky relationship this year. Some loses that shouldn’t have happened (I’m looking at you special teams). Let’s start fresh by sweeping the division for the rest of the year? Doesn’t that sound nice?
Go Pack Go!
Note to self.
When a nurse has to give an injection with a large needle in your ass. Don’t use that as an opportunity to make jokes. Because whether they laugh or not. There is still a needle in your ass.
For those wondering she did laugh. And the needle moved. I’ll be quiet next time.
When a nurse has to give an injection with a large needle in your ass. Don’t use that as an opportunity to make jokes. Because whether they laugh or not. There is still a needle in your ass.
For those wondering she did laugh. And the needle moved. I’ll be quiet next time.
November 2, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Note to self.
When a nurse has to give an injection with a large needle in your ass. Don’t use that as an opportunity to make jokes. Because whether they laugh or not. There is still a needle in your ass.
For those wondering she did laugh. And the needle moved. I’ll be quiet next time.
When a nurse has to give an injection with a large needle in your ass. Don’t use that as an opportunity to make jokes. Because whether they laugh or not. There is still a needle in your ass.
For those wondering she did laugh. And the needle moved. I’ll be quiet next time.
I’m finally back to work. It warms my cold dead heart to see how many red delicious apples we’ve been shrinking out due to being forced to carry them, but few people buying them. They are donated and used in compost to grow ACTUAL food. We waste nothing.
Fuck Red Delicious Apples.
Fuck Red Delicious Apples.
October 29, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I’m finally back to work. It warms my cold dead heart to see how many red delicious apples we’ve been shrinking out due to being forced to carry them, but few people buying them. They are donated and used in compost to grow ACTUAL food. We waste nothing.
Fuck Red Delicious Apples.
Fuck Red Delicious Apples.
Trump is declining so fast I imagine Spirit Halloween executives have already hung a “Spirit Halloween Coming Soon” banner where his brain used to be.
October 29, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Trump is declining so fast I imagine Spirit Halloween executives have already hung a “Spirit Halloween Coming Soon” banner where his brain used to be.
Green Bay Packers that was a game for the ages last night. I never doubted you.
I’m sorry. That is a lie. Even after taking a Xanax (unrelated issue) I still couldn’t watch the game. But cheered at notifications until I fell asleep.
A Rod and I are the same age, but that being said…
I’m sorry. That is a lie. Even after taking a Xanax (unrelated issue) I still couldn’t watch the game. But cheered at notifications until I fell asleep.
A Rod and I are the same age, but that being said…
a spongebob meme that says " how many times do we need to teach you this lesson old man ? "
ALT: a spongebob meme that says " how many times do we need to teach you this lesson old man ? "
media.tenor.com
October 27, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Green Bay Packers that was a game for the ages last night. I never doubted you.
I’m sorry. That is a lie. Even after taking a Xanax (unrelated issue) I still couldn’t watch the game. But cheered at notifications until I fell asleep.
A Rod and I are the same age, but that being said…
I’m sorry. That is a lie. Even after taking a Xanax (unrelated issue) I still couldn’t watch the game. But cheered at notifications until I fell asleep.
A Rod and I are the same age, but that being said…
Now I can just watch Weird Al’s The Saga Begins, and this back to back. And never have to watch the Phantom Menace again!
Good things do happen sometimes!
youtu.be/Ne7fbb9c-BU?...
Good things do happen sometimes!
youtu.be/Ne7fbb9c-BU?...
Duel of the Fates but it's Bomboclat Maulman
YouTube video by Sithani
youtu.be
October 17, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Now I can just watch Weird Al’s The Saga Begins, and this back to back. And never have to watch the Phantom Menace again!
Good things do happen sometimes!
youtu.be/Ne7fbb9c-BU?...
Good things do happen sometimes!
youtu.be/Ne7fbb9c-BU?...
I’ve had ear worms stuck in my head for days before. But I’ve had the Kpop Demon Hunter song Golden stuck in my head since the Bad Bunny SNL sketch.
I’m beginning to contemplate drastic measures. Like flying to Orlando and riding It’s a Small World 100 times in a row.
I’m losing it, man.
I’m beginning to contemplate drastic measures. Like flying to Orlando and riding It’s a Small World 100 times in a row.
I’m losing it, man.
October 14, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I’ve had ear worms stuck in my head for days before. But I’ve had the Kpop Demon Hunter song Golden stuck in my head since the Bad Bunny SNL sketch.
I’m beginning to contemplate drastic measures. Like flying to Orlando and riding It’s a Small World 100 times in a row.
I’m losing it, man.
I’m beginning to contemplate drastic measures. Like flying to Orlando and riding It’s a Small World 100 times in a row.
I’m losing it, man.
What is happening in the NFL? I’m always happy to see the Eagles lose. But how are there so many upsets this year?
October 10, 2025 at 12:18 PM
What is happening in the NFL? I’m always happy to see the Eagles lose. But how are there so many upsets this year?
Did no one learn anything during Covid? I just witnessed three people not wash their hands after using the bathroom. In a Cancer Hospital no less.
We need to start shaming a lack of basic hygiene.
We need to start shaming a lack of basic hygiene.
October 8, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Did no one learn anything during Covid? I just witnessed three people not wash their hands after using the bathroom. In a Cancer Hospital no less.
We need to start shaming a lack of basic hygiene.
We need to start shaming a lack of basic hygiene.