Harry Monkfish
@reliquatessen.bsky.social
They said 'Just Do It' so I did it. Now what?
Pinned
Harry Monkfish
@reliquatessen.bsky.social
· Nov 20
Any TV series is better with Una Paloma Blanca as a theme song. Get doved up!
Reposted by Harry Monkfish
Die Hard is an Easter Movie.
December 9, 2024 at 7:35 AM
Die Hard is an Easter Movie.
Saw someone wearing a hoody that said 'TO THE PERSON BEHIND ME - THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE WITH YOU IN IT". You don't know me. Fuck you!
December 26, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Saw someone wearing a hoody that said 'TO THE PERSON BEHIND ME - THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE WITH YOU IN IT". You don't know me. Fuck you!
I saw Mommy kissing Santa in the woodshed.
December 26, 2025 at 8:12 AM
I saw Mommy kissing Santa in the woodshed.
I've just eaten half a raw carrot with a glass of milk. I don't think it's a truly winning combination.
December 25, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I've just eaten half a raw carrot with a glass of milk. I don't think it's a truly winning combination.
If you lose a tooth on Christmas Eve the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas may get into a stand off. Or the fairy drinks a brandy and leaves a sackful of teeth behind as she woops up the chimney.
December 23, 2025 at 9:01 PM
If you lose a tooth on Christmas Eve the Tooth Fairy and Father Christmas may get into a stand off. Or the fairy drinks a brandy and leaves a sackful of teeth behind as she woops up the chimney.
We never had the Tooth Fairy in our house as a child, as it was considered an irreligious tradition. We'd just find a Jack Chick tract under the pillow about how losing teeth is sinful.
December 23, 2025 at 8:58 PM
We never had the Tooth Fairy in our house as a child, as it was considered an irreligious tradition. We'd just find a Jack Chick tract under the pillow about how losing teeth is sinful.
Reposted by Harry Monkfish
Season's Greetings :-)
December 23, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Season's Greetings :-)
Bad news - they're building a Wicker Candyman in the village and it looks just like you.
December 23, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Bad news - they're building a Wicker Candyman in the village and it looks just like you.
Montol bonfire, Penzance, Winter Solstice 2025
December 22, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Montol bonfire, Penzance, Winter Solstice 2025
This is a vintage item now and fetching crazy prices on the eBay.
The top gift for this Christmas season: Big Tam-agotchi.
December 21, 2025 at 9:48 AM
This is a vintage item now and fetching crazy prices on the eBay.
Reposted by Harry Monkfish
"Does the snowman bring the snow, or does the snow bring the snowman? I don't know...."
December 6, 2024 at 9:27 AM
"Does the snowman bring the snow, or does the snow bring the snowman? I don't know...."
Reposted by Harry Monkfish
Advert Lucky Dip: Dec 1896: Mustard ad from Colman's (more at @OldUKPrintAds.bsky.social)
«COLMAN'S MUSTARD.»
«COLMAN'S MUSTARD.»
December 19, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Advert Lucky Dip: Dec 1896: Mustard ad from Colman's (more at @OldUKPrintAds.bsky.social)
«COLMAN'S MUSTARD.»
«COLMAN'S MUSTARD.»
There's no issue in modern UK society with male violence, it's just that women are falling behind in the race - a Violence Gap if you like. This is sarcasm by the way.
December 18, 2025 at 8:30 PM
There's no issue in modern UK society with male violence, it's just that women are falling behind in the race - a Violence Gap if you like. This is sarcasm by the way.
Reposted by Harry Monkfish
Any TV series is better with Una Paloma Blanca as a theme song. Get doved up!
November 20, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Any TV series is better with Una Paloma Blanca as a theme song. Get doved up!
Advance warning to all the children - this Christmas Santa's outsourced production to China and a lot of stuff's coming via Temu.
December 18, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Advance warning to all the children - this Christmas Santa's outsourced production to China and a lot of stuff's coming via Temu.
draw me like one of your
December 16, 2025 at 4:18 PM
draw me like one of your
Lewis was Morse's side piece.
December 12, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Lewis was Morse's side piece.
Give a man a hammer and he will hammer in the morning. Give a man two hammers and he will hire two other men to do the hammering for him. Give a man three hammers and he will start an ebay shop.
December 12, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Give a man a hammer and he will hammer in the morning. Give a man two hammers and he will hire two other men to do the hammering for him. Give a man three hammers and he will start an ebay shop.
I like Donald Duck but I canardly understand him.
December 12, 2025 at 5:37 AM
I like Donald Duck but I canardly understand him.
Reposted by Harry Monkfish
Nigel Farage is bringing them over because he thinks they will deliver white babies.
White storks to make historic return to London in 2026 www.theguardian.com/environment/...
White storks to make historic return to London in 2026 www.theguardian.com/environment/...
White storks to make historic return to London in 2026
Species extinct as breeding birds in Britain since 1416 to be reintroduced in Barking and Dagenham as part of rewilding effort
www.theguardian.com
December 8, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Nigel Farage is bringing them over because he thinks they will deliver white babies.
White storks to make historic return to London in 2026 www.theguardian.com/environment/...
White storks to make historic return to London in 2026 www.theguardian.com/environment/...
(growling) "Now you know why they call me Harry 'Gun Cop U-turn' Callaghan... every goddamn gun cop U-turn in this city, I get it."
Newspaper headlines: Heathrow 'pepper spray attack' and 'Harry gun cop U-turn'
Newspaper headlines: Heathrow 'pepper spray attack' and 'Harry gun cop U-turn'
A pepper spray incident at Heathrow Airport and a Home Office review of Prince Harry's UK protection leads Monday's papers.
www.bbc.com
December 8, 2025 at 4:39 AM
(growling) "Now you know why they call me Harry 'Gun Cop U-turn' Callaghan... every goddamn gun cop U-turn in this city, I get it."
Difficult to spend time in a Wetherspoons without getting Havana Syndrome.
November 29, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Difficult to spend time in a Wetherspoons without getting Havana Syndrome.
I think my late father realised, late in life, that it basically wasn't worth the candle, and frankly I'm beginning to share that perspective.
November 23, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I think my late father realised, late in life, that it basically wasn't worth the candle, and frankly I'm beginning to share that perspective.