they are so entertaining …

I can’t tell anyone because it leads to bigger problems and that’s all it’s ever led to i cant killmtself because im too scared of what’ll happen all i ever do is distract myself with my interests that i start losing interest in constantly and waste so much of my time and energy I already don’t have

I can’t do anything

all of it. WHAT is the point of being able to see manipulation and red flags when the people who taught me are the ones repeating the behavior and then lying to me about it. what is this going to teach me

Anything I speak to them directly about whether it’s calmly when we’re sitting together to “resolve” something or it’s in a heated argument never gets anywhere. im always the one that needs to learn a lesson at the end of the day while they say things that make me feel crazy like im just imagining

to about this because I can’t trust any of my relatives, my friends are kind but they can’t do anything, I can’t do anything, I can’t get out, I can’t stop this it’s never ending and I dont know what the fuck im supposed to do anymore

(and consequently contributed to more conflict) is SLEEPING IN THE HOUSE. THAT WE MOVED TO. TO HAVE DISTANCE FROM HIM. My mom brushes off EVERYTHING I say and then goes on spiels about everything she’s sacrificed to protect us. I have NEVER felt protected by her. EVER. I don’t have anyone to talk

being crossed” that are STILL being crossed that are REPETITIONS of my dad’s behavior that she FINALLY CALLED THE COPS OVER. and this piece of shit is acting like some mature, emotionally intelligent man who’s “better” just because he had a better financial situation and was able to “solve” conflict

her. We move from place to place and it’s the second divorce for “our safety and peace” and we’re still dealing with the same issues over and over. He’s STILL coming to the house even after all the bullshit we talked about with how even though “we love and respect what he did for us, there are lines

I can’t “take a break” from my own house. My mom teaches me about cutting off toxic people and then reinforces the same toxicity. I can’t go anywhere because my dad doesn’t have a house right now and he was a huge part of the problem. Even if I make it out for college I’ll still need to depend on-

I lowkey am in an almost constant state of confusion

on it boss /silly

ok this is kind of funny he goes “i didn’t slap your face i hit you in the back of your head 🤓” ermmm gotcha moment!

instead of going back and forth with him you could umm. kick him out of the house? you could umm. do something? instead of telling me to calm down and leave?

he won’t leave the house and shut up YOU DONT LIVE HERE!!!! NEWS FLASH!!!!

the teacher wasn’t kidding abt it getting better with time

I’m. So proud of myself. I wasn’t even nervous to get on the stage like it felt normal

if you dumb down your problems and ignore them or separate them from yourself maybe they will go away eventually 💭💭