Reached a new low of millennial today - couldn't partake in my usual wanky craft beers cos I was bloated from moussaka and my tummy hurt 🥺

According to my Uber driver, New Delhi has four seasons:
Too hot
Too cold
Too wet
Autumn

This is your sign to clean your damn vacuum, I just pulled out what can only be described as a large length of felt made entirely of dog hair 🤢

Cat femboys are OUT
Young Keanu Reeves in a Playboy bunny outfit is IN

Watching Americans making Old Fashioneds by muddling fruit is making my eye twitch

Me when someone asks me about one of my autistic special interests