offended to find out there isn't some cretaceous doctor yakub bolting tricerotops heads onto pliosaur bodies for shits and giggles

yeah sure hellen keller truthers why the fuck not

I think my most sincere metaphysical belief is that there's a god of comedy who doesn't get directly involved very often but you should still really be careful about getting his attention

making healthcare more efficient by accelerating people's epilepsy medicine into their skulls at hypersonic speeds

he's gonna demand trial by duel or something

I beat someone to death with a can of cranberry sauce one time so this is actually more complicated than they're making it out to be

calling this a false flag is like saying getting hit by a car crossing the highway is a false flag lol

the spirit of thanksgiving will make it happen

I think hearing about this was the moment I stopped thinking "I should probably catch up on that show when I get a chance"

Paramedic stripping your clothes off while a cop bends your arm at an impossible angle and you're like man well at least this can't get any worse and then you hear helicopter blades getting louder