Touching congealed chicken stock with my bare hands just to feel alive.

Why is my immune system attacking the microplastics in my balls, instead of the actual sickness plaguing me.

How to motivate oneself to relearn everything from scratch?
Total Ego death, but the wisdom stays. Midlife crisis, but less expensive.

My presence enables lifestyle improvements through mystic ways.

[Clogging my in-laws' toilet so hard, they have to buy a new one. They also decided to upgrade to a fancy Japanese model, to accommodate my powerful white ass]

The door-vampires *are* in fact bad at Jenga.

I'm fondly looking backwards to earlier this week, when I covered my phone in molten cheese.

Substance abuse is just real life distortion; add a nice beat and jam.

I am aware of too many things.

They have three eyes.

Time to turn on the grayscale filter again.