I cant get this guy out of my head, it feels like I dream about them every night. I figured if I stopped posting for a bit I could get my mind off of everything but it's only gotten worse.

I got fired for ditching work, though I dont remember ever leaving, and my jaw hasnt been sitting right lately

Been going on hikes every day since Kenzie left and the weird things have been happening, I haven't been able to find anything that justifies the feelings I've been having, but it ain't like there's a shrink in my town who can throw pills at me until I go away.

Been a little while, things have been happening and posting hasn't been on my mind.

I keep losing large chunks of time, can't sleep, have been running on coffee and cigarettes. Closing my eyes has me finding myself in the forest, something in the woods is calling to me and keeps dragging me back.

Still thinking about what happened earlier, feels like I'm losing my mind, or just having bad nightmares as my life gets worse.

Still snagged myself some treats on the way back to my apartment, happy Halloween to me I guess.

I opened my eyes to see the road through the forest in front of me, last I remember was trying to fall asleep to some music by the river. I feel scrapes and scratches I don't remember.

I never felt alone in the forest, but something just seems.. so different, I feel less welcome.

Visions of a grey room, he had no face, veiled in shadow. I could tell he was smiling, a part of me replaced by something that doesn't belong.

My best and only friend just left for bigger and better things in the city west of here, leaving me by myself in a dying small town. The only other person I talk to that isn't where I work is my dealer, and the less time I spend in his trailer the better.

Today's a hiking kinda day..

Every time I close my eyes I see the forest again, the endless shadows cast in the moonlight, the dim shimmer of the leaves in the breeze. There's a spot I go to pretty frequently to be by myself, to get high and listen to the river flow all night long, guess you could call it my happy place.

The neighborhood around my apartment has been really quiet tonight, was walking home from her place and decided to take the long way so I could smoke, realized I don't hear the usual noises. No neighbors fighting, the junkie behind the dumpsters is missing too.

Not unusual, just eerily quiet..

I asked Kenzie what happened last night and she didn't remember much either, just that she woke up on the floor after we both passed out.

Chalk it up to sleep walking? Drunk sleep walking??? With her moving away tomorrow I guess I'm just stressed out, then again.. what else is new?

I have a phobia of alarm clocks, or alarms in general.

When my folks were still around, when I was growing up, they'd leave for work before I was even awake for school. They often only hit snooze and were out the door before it went off again. Often did I wake up to that distant beeping in the dark

Woke up in the woods today, the dampness of the dirt and leaves did little to help the soreness in my muscles from the double shift I pulled yesterday.

I must've drank too much with Kenzie, I don't recall hiking out here at all.

Phones at 1% though, will post more thoughts when I get home and nap.