I was still a kid.

& faint. I couldn’t have
been making any sense. I also had a concussion from earlier. The DJ followed us & she mentioned going upstairs too.

Filling me in on a lot of things & all she did was lie. I knew that she’d begun to make me feel super uncomfortable & I had this growing intuition that kept telling me that I should hate her & I had to find out why. That’s was the source of so much of this….

When I was in the hospital in 2022, all I could remember was her gatekeeping me & telling me that she was a good mother - as if taking advantage of my, at times, comatose state. I checked out of the hospital with amnesia & happy to see her when she came to pick me up. I had to rely on her for

My main memories of her were her making me bring her food, eating, drinking, & smoking on the couch or in her bedroom. She once didn’t move from the daybed in the front room for an entire year. I’d even wake up from napping on the floor beside her, to her manipulating herself, exposed, & facing me.

Ruined my relationships. It’s why she ruined my academics, it’s why she ruined my career(s). She was angry that she made me hyperindependant & wanted me dependent on her because her fear was having no one to take care of her in old age. She also wanted to sit around and be spoiled.

Arguments. Used as a manipulation tactic. Much of my childhood memories of her were me cooking, cleaning, maintenancing the house, mowing the lawn, training the pets. She treated me like her “husband”…I’d even fix my first car in the driveway. She was jealous of my love interests. It’s why she

& only minorities in stores, no more moves to corporate. My parking space disappeared. No more cushy outings. No more expensed lunches. I’ve worked hard my whole life so that I never had to ask my mother for anything. Anything. Because whenever I did, it would sour, badly. Held over my head in

My one good job was telecommunications with Verizon where my mother had a “friend” that would spy on my store in the financial district. It was my first heated parking space. I didn’t have to get snowed or rained on, then the company changed upper management & suddenly we were slaves again

I couldn’t move…but I could hear her excited tippy-taps by my ear & then her being quickly picked up & someone tall snapping her neck. Then some one short stabbing her a bunch of times, then, they cut her head off, & she was taken to my bed after. That’s when I lost complete consciousness again.