Ron Sequitur ꙮ
@ronsequitur.bsky.social
A fax machine is just a surprise printer.
Reskeets mean I love you.
LINKS
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Decent Skeetcents: https://tinyurl.com/DecentSkeetcents
Ron's Favstar: https://tinyurl.com/RonsFavstar
Reskeets mean I love you.
LINKS
------
Decent Skeetcents: https://tinyurl.com/DecentSkeetcents
Ron's Favstar: https://tinyurl.com/RonsFavstar
Pinned
Ron Sequitur ꙮ
@ronsequitur.bsky.social
· Jul 22
Take me down to the pair of mice city,
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
New phone, who are you?
December 24, 2025 at 3:39 AM
New phone, who are you?
The Bears are playing like a team that is unaccustomed to playing meaningful games in December.
December 21, 2025 at 2:50 AM
The Bears are playing like a team that is unaccustomed to playing meaningful games in December.
The guy who wrote the "By Mennen" jingle would be rolling over in his deodorant shaped casket, which was stipulated by the company when they signed him, at the thought of a 12 team college football playoff
December 14, 2025 at 3:47 AM
The guy who wrote the "By Mennen" jingle would be rolling over in his deodorant shaped casket, which was stipulated by the company when they signed him, at the thought of a 12 team college football playoff
RECORD PRODUCER: Great take guys!
SOUND GUY: Seriously, this is a hit.
[long pause]
BILLY JOEL: Do you guys like the motorcycle sounds
SOUND GUY: Seriously, this is a hit.
[long pause]
BILLY JOEL: Do you guys like the motorcycle sounds
December 13, 2025 at 3:25 PM
RECORD PRODUCER: Great take guys!
SOUND GUY: Seriously, this is a hit.
[long pause]
BILLY JOEL: Do you guys like the motorcycle sounds
SOUND GUY: Seriously, this is a hit.
[long pause]
BILLY JOEL: Do you guys like the motorcycle sounds
On the first day of Christmas
I found a bag of pee
I don't want to talk about
The pee
I found a bag of pee
I don't want to talk about
The pee
December 10, 2025 at 10:41 PM
On the first day of Christmas
I found a bag of pee
I don't want to talk about
The pee
I found a bag of pee
I don't want to talk about
The pee
James Garfield died on Sept. 19, 1881, which was a Monday.
Garfield hating Mondays is a pretty old grudge.
Garfield hating Mondays is a pretty old grudge.
December 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
James Garfield died on Sept. 19, 1881, which was a Monday.
Garfield hating Mondays is a pretty old grudge.
Garfield hating Mondays is a pretty old grudge.
Oh hey, are we supposed to keep posting all the time? I don't know.... can you just look at some of my old stuff and share it with everyone? I kinda did all my best stuff already.
December 5, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Oh hey, are we supposed to keep posting all the time? I don't know.... can you just look at some of my old stuff and share it with everyone? I kinda did all my best stuff already.
And Kellen Lewis was high on cocaine.
PAT good. No. 2 Indiana leads Purdue 42-3, 3:52 left.
Fernando Mendoza's 38 total touchdowns have now tied Indiana's single-season record (Kellen Lewis, 2007). #iufb
Fernando Mendoza's 38 total touchdowns have now tied Indiana's single-season record (Kellen Lewis, 2007). #iufb
November 29, 2025 at 3:08 PM
And Kellen Lewis was high on cocaine.
Reposted by Ron Sequitur ꙮ
Not many people like winter, but it's one of my favorite seasons. Easily in my Top 5.
November 26, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Not many people like winter, but it's one of my favorite seasons. Easily in my Top 5.
Not many people like winter, but it's one of my favorite seasons. Easily in my Top 5.
November 26, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Not many people like winter, but it's one of my favorite seasons. Easily in my Top 5.
Life Hack: Don't swallow cuff links.
November 25, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Life Hack: Don't swallow cuff links.
Shaving is like a hug for your face - a karate hug with blades, and some bleeding.
November 25, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Shaving is like a hug for your face - a karate hug with blades, and some bleeding.
♬ Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Bought a Purple Sports Car - Work at Arby's ♬
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Bought a Purple Sports Car - Work at Arby's ♬
November 25, 2025 at 2:46 AM
♬ Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Bought a Purple Sports Car - Work at Arby's ♬
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Midlife Crisis Mutant Turtles
Bought a Purple Sports Car - Work at Arby's ♬
"Thumbs Up!" for prostate exams. Folks,
November 25, 2025 at 2:22 AM
"Thumbs Up!" for prostate exams. Folks,
If tonight is your wedding night and you're nervous about doing the sex, try picturing your wife in her underwear.
November 25, 2025 at 2:10 AM
If tonight is your wedding night and you're nervous about doing the sex, try picturing your wife in her underwear.
The Trans-Siberian Orchestra should have been called Santa's Slay
November 23, 2025 at 1:00 PM
The Trans-Siberian Orchestra should have been called Santa's Slay
[First day on Madison Avenue]
ME: [setting up easel] [drinks fifth of bourbon] Boardroom by day... [flips poster around] ...Bedroom by night. [Long, Pregnant Pause]
Skittles: Taste the Rainbow
ME: [setting up easel] [drinks fifth of bourbon] Boardroom by day... [flips poster around] ...Bedroom by night. [Long, Pregnant Pause]
Skittles: Taste the Rainbow
November 23, 2025 at 4:34 AM
[First day on Madison Avenue]
ME: [setting up easel] [drinks fifth of bourbon] Boardroom by day... [flips poster around] ...Bedroom by night. [Long, Pregnant Pause]
Skittles: Taste the Rainbow
ME: [setting up easel] [drinks fifth of bourbon] Boardroom by day... [flips poster around] ...Bedroom by night. [Long, Pregnant Pause]
Skittles: Taste the Rainbow
I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Curry covered chili fries
Turned my poo to pee
Deep inside of me
Curry covered chili fries
Turned my poo to pee
November 21, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Curry covered chili fries
Turned my poo to pee
Deep inside of me
Curry covered chili fries
Turned my poo to pee
Birds are nature's mosquitos
November 21, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Birds are nature's mosquitos
The heart of the synapse is the tiny hot dog buns, which are used to catch microscopic meatballs before the mitochondria gobble them all up, the greedy bastards
November 21, 2025 at 3:46 PM
The heart of the synapse is the tiny hot dog buns, which are used to catch microscopic meatballs before the mitochondria gobble them all up, the greedy bastards
Kids today have no idea who Mike Tyson is or why he is hilarious
November 20, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Kids today have no idea who Mike Tyson is or why he is hilarious
Become ungovernable: Open the that Fun Dip and pour it all in your mouth at once, the stick is not in charge here.
November 19, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Become ungovernable: Open the that Fun Dip and pour it all in your mouth at once, the stick is not in charge here.
"These magic beans, they used to cost one cow, but now they cost two cows," Jack pointed out.
"That is not my fault," said the old man, "For I inherited a bad economy."
"I dunno," said Jack.
"What if, in a year, I could send you a check for 1/3 of a cow?"
Jack winced, for the old man had farted.
"That is not my fault," said the old man, "For I inherited a bad economy."
"I dunno," said Jack.
"What if, in a year, I could send you a check for 1/3 of a cow?"
Jack winced, for the old man had farted.
November 18, 2025 at 3:11 AM
"These magic beans, they used to cost one cow, but now they cost two cows," Jack pointed out.
"That is not my fault," said the old man, "For I inherited a bad economy."
"I dunno," said Jack.
"What if, in a year, I could send you a check for 1/3 of a cow?"
Jack winced, for the old man had farted.
"That is not my fault," said the old man, "For I inherited a bad economy."
"I dunno," said Jack.
"What if, in a year, I could send you a check for 1/3 of a cow?"
Jack winced, for the old man had farted.
Steal a medical supply every 2 minutes while you wait for the doctor to come in. Puke bags, rubber gloves, that fancy thermometer... don't forget to open drawers and cabinets, there might be a dope, backless gown in there.
November 16, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Steal a medical supply every 2 minutes while you wait for the doctor to come in. Puke bags, rubber gloves, that fancy thermometer... don't forget to open drawers and cabinets, there might be a dope, backless gown in there.