Yikes indeed. There’s no other word for it, and just one yike would never be powerful enough

Oh shit! A baby Daniel Kaluuya

The Stack Of Toast gauge has been slid into the canon of my Standards and Limits going forward. Many thanks, Kerry x

I’ve lost the bloody torch

The obvious next connector is a vape. That’s just hanging around my neck on a piece of black macrame cord atm, like some sort of amateur StrapCarrier. As is my house key. On a different string from the vape, of course. I’m just starting out but I’ve done my research and read my histories ; )

Just endured another kitchenaid mixer full of saliva, by pulling my headphones away from my ears. I accidentally put them back on a bit early as there were a couple of wet encores, but after the last, I heard a goat bleat in the distance, and I’m sure he said “thank fuck” in Spanish. I swear

(It was cleaned before I put it in my Playtex Pocket. I first found it last week and have been pulling chicks with it ever since)

That’s from my dad btw. He’s retiring next month, so expect more #TextsFromGary