Like why am I fucking laid here miserable unable to sleep bc some pyjamas fit me in a masculine way, I actually want to fucking die

It's just so hard to believe that literally anyone views me as a woman when the people who I believed do slip up and show me that they actually don't

PURITANIST ANTI PORN PUSSIES AND TWITTER IS FULL OF PEDOS!!! IS THERE NOWHERE TO POST NORMAL FUCKING PORN ANYMORE?

1.7k. whatever

I feel so so so fucking worthless when my posts hit 60 fucking likes, I have 3k followers on my main and no one is seeing my posts, I truly do not understand what's going on

I genuinely cannot fucking keep up with algorithms and I keep feeling like I'm so exhausted and burnt out, every other artist around me outputs 10x what I put out, I cannot physically keep up, and it's meaning I'm falling behind like crazy it's making me want to quit

Also "sfw kink" gets 100x the traction and interaction of anything that gets labelled nsfw here, makes me wanna blow my fucking brains out

Like obviously I'm happy to be an adult, I'm happy to control my own life, I'm happy to be free of anyone's control or decisions. But sometimes I miss when my life was just whatever movie I was putting on, a tub of Lego and my tea was my dad's cooking

Suicide ideation doesn't begin to cover it, I don't want to die, but it's hard to believe it's not inevitable. It's hard to believe that some crazed maniac egged on by the wannabe Hitler's in the big fancy chairs won't see me on the street and decide its the right thing to do, that its my day to die

To worry every day that you're a government decision away from being rounded up into camps, from being labelled a violent extremist by a newspaper read by millions

Sometimes I worry these aren't healthy but no one fucking reads them anyway, any time I'm scared or upset everyone just gives me the same fucking responses, about how they're sorry and that it sucks, or that everything will be fine

They have no idea how it feels to face annihilation every day

Worth living and salvaging in this mess. There fucking has to be, because if not what is it all for?

Much energy and time on being disciplined and keeping myself distracted that I'm exhausted all the time. I'm taking time away from worrying and moping and being scared to work and exhaust myself, and I keep working myself til I'm sick. There has to be more to life than this, there has to be a life

Hate. All I fucking want is to live quietly and draw. That's all I fucking want and all I've ever wanted, but now I'm being politicized by the most influential man on the planet, and everyone here just follows what they do. This country is miserable, my life is fucking miserable. I'm spending so

Every day there's a new war, the president of the United States is declaring every transgender person a terrorist, they've "found a solution" to autism, the UK has law banning me from changing rooms, toilets, pools etc... every glimmer of hope I feel is smothered by this disgusting flow of violent

Like is that not a fucking NSFW artist drawing an animal in a fetish situation???? Is that not a fucking fetishist then reposting that artwork because of their FETISH??? HAVE WORDS LOST MEANING????????? OR DO WE JUST NOT FUCKING CARE

Every fucking month some new big artist draws damn near beastiality and everyone is just fucking fine with it? And if you call it out people block you and unfollow you, like what the fuck is going on!!!!! Are we blind!!!!!!!