Richard Tyler Jordan
rtjbooks.bsky.social
Richard Tyler Jordan
@rtjbooks.bsky.social
Author of the Polly Pepper cozy mystery series, American expat writer living happy ever after in semi-rural England. Www.Richardtylerjordan.com
#cozyMysteries|#PollyPepper|#AmateurSleuths|#Castles|England
You all know I’m partial to sheep — their shifty little eyes and dramatic bleats speak to my soul — but the cows have been staging a slow, deliberate campaign to win me over. Daily staring contests, synchronized chewing, the occasional low moo of encouragement. I must admit, it’s working.🐄🐑🌿🇬🇧☕🌧️💚
August 27, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Les Waspérables! It started as a faint buzz… and turned into a full-blown waspocalypse. Hundreds of them found their way into the downstairs loo of our ancient stone cottage — and promptly dropped dead. Just died. En masse. No note, no manifesto. It was some kind of insect Jonestown!
August 23, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Spotted from the air! Our humble 17th-century cottage, snapped by dear friends with the eyesight of a peregrine falcon on approach to Bristol Airport. In a past chapter of my life, when I’d fly “home,” it was to Los Angeles. The aerial view would be six lanes of gridlock and a dozen police chases.
August 7, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Some people dream of yachts, others of fame. Me? I just wanted a little walled courtyard to sip wine by candlelight and pretend I’m in a Merchant Ivory film. The wild thing is… this is where I get to live! Ivy-covered stone, flickering candlelight, and the occasional spider with boundary issues.
August 1, 2025 at 10:20 AM
At nearby Thornbury Castle, they’re attempting a Henry VIII topiary. But actually it’s looking more likeDonald Trump disguised as a hedge to avoid culpabilty for all the calamity he’s wrought. Less Tudor Majesty, more Mar-a-Lawn meltdown. 👑🍊
#TopiaryFail #HedgeOfState #ThornburyCastle #RoyalShrubber
July 23, 2025 at 10:37 AM
Spotted on my recent Rhine River cruise: a German castle clinging dramatically to the side of a cliff, as if sheer altitude were a measure of importance. Impressive, yes—but I confess, I prefer the quiet confidence of English castles. But then, I’m biased." 🏰🌿🇬🇧
July 16, 2025 at 11:26 AM
This ceiling at Burghley House in Lincolnshire is a Baroque fever dream of judgment: a flaming hell-mouth yawns wide, damned souls spiral downward, and angels flap uselessly above the chaos.
July 9, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Behold, the stairway to the dungeon in my friend’s castle—because apparently, some people really are living my fantasy. Back in the day, prisoners were hauled down these steps by grim-faced gaolers, who presumably had no patience for whining about ‘unfair persecution.’
June 18, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Ah yes, Trinity College’s Long Room—arguably one of the most magnificent libraries in the world, featuring the entire planet as a decorative accent. Nothing says ‘humbling literary experience’ quite like browsing ancient books while a giant Earth hangs overhead.
June 4, 2025 at 9:16 AM
Castle or manor? Either way, I should be living there. As an American expat writer in England, I deserve an estate, housekeeper, secret passage, family curse. Instead, I live in a 500-year-old cottage I’d never trade. But who needs a castle when your home already includes a ghost and a mystery?
May 29, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Not religious, but I believe in the trinity of stained glass, hard pews, and old hypocrisy. As an American in England, I admire how these windows filter light while ignoring the sins. This place has likely seen more scheming than the Trump administration. Bless these judgmental windows.
May 21, 2025 at 9:15 AM
These worn books belonged to my great-grandfather—proof that a love of literature runs in the family. Why no ‘E’ in “Shakspeare”? 19th-century spelling was as messy as modern texting. As an American in England, I can only aspire to such literary chaos.
🔎📖 Cozy crime: richardtylerjordan.com
May 15, 2025 at 10:20 AM
“Great. He’s taking our picture.”
“Play it cool, Bessie. Maybe he’s a tourist.”
“Or worse… a food blogger.”
As an expat in rural England, I’ve clearly walked into something. That side-eye says I’d better move before they call their lawyer… or the butcher.
More cozy crime at: RichardTylerJordan.com
May 9, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Must I dream of a castle with a stone archway for my evening ride? As an American expat in historic England, I deserve an entrance befitting my taste. A moat would be grand to ward off Jehovah’s Witnesses, surprise visitors, and ‘quick survey’ interlopers. 🔎📖 More cozy crime: RichardTylerJordan.com!
May 1, 2025 at 12:17 PM
This little lamb had a rough start – snatched by a fox at breakfast. Luckily, neighbor farmers stepped in. Cozy mystery or countryside heist? Either way, it’s safe, and I swear I heard Anthony Hopkins whisper, “Have the lambs stopped screaming, Clarice?” More cozy crime at: Richardtylerjordan.com
April 23, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Out TODAY! Library Journal gave Murder and a Missing Manuscript a “paw-sitive” review (“A dandy, twisty mystery.”). The cat read it. Loved it. Gave it five stars. Schedule: cleared. Help him convince Meryl Streep to take his call. Grab the book at: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | richardtylerjordan.com
April 15, 2025 at 10:19 AM
I have a thing for old doors—go figure! This is MY front door, likely from the mid-1800s, when my 500-year-old cottage was last renovated. Feels like a Merchant Ivory film—still waiting for Emma Thompson, Anthony Hopkins, or someone with tea and scones! As an expat in England, this is my dream. 🙃✨☕
March 20, 2025 at 9:47 AM
One of my favorite stone bridges here in Southwest England. 🌿🌉 So romantic, so peaceful… ideal for a dreamy writer to get lost in thought, craft stories of love and intrigue, or plan the next twist in a Polly Pepper mystery. (Spoiler: I think someone’s definitely hiding something under that bridge.)
March 18, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Yes, those are cooked insects ready for tasting! I stopped at the Grub Kitchen in Wales, where “there’s something in my food” is a selling point! Ha! Seriously! 🦗🍽️ I came for curiosity, stayed for the bug burger and cricket cookies—which, to my surprise, were absolutely worth buzzing about. 🙃🐝
March 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Caught this massive unit buzzing around like it owned the place! 🐝🙃 I captured it humanely… after several minutes of shrieking and an interpretive dance of panic. A reminder that I live in semi-rural England, where wasps are apparently the size of helicopters!
March 13, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Just your friendly expat writer, wandering St. David’s Cathedral in Wales under the guise of “research” for my next Polly Pepper novel. 🕵️‍♀️📖 I came for history but stayed for murder mystery inspiration. (If these walls could talk, they’d spill secrets about randy monks—plus, all that itchy wool!) 🙃
March 13, 2025 at 12:02 AM
What is it about cruises that makes you think, “Yes, I do need a vibrant pop art portrait of Queen Elizabeth II”? Sea air? Cocktails? A lapse in judgment? I almost bought it—though in my 500-year-old cottage, it’d be as subtle as a disco ball at a medieval gala. (But honestly… still love it.)
March 12, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Exploring castle ruins (again/still), wondering what it’d take for central heating & decent Wi-Fi. 🏰💻 Asking for an expat American friend… who is me. Could I live here? No roof, drafty halls, questionable plumbing… 🏰 As a guy with a flair for the dramatic, I must say: tempting.
March 7, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Stumbled across the Queen of Crime (well… her bust) in a Torquay park, where the brilliant Mrs. Christie lived. I may have whispered, “Teach me your ways, Agatha.” But she just stared. 😅🔎✍️ Pretty sure she was politely ignoring my Polly Pepper cozy mysteries… or silently judging my life choices. 🙃📚💀
March 5, 2025 at 9:54 AM
Stopped by to practice my ‘Most Saintly Person of the Year’ speech. I lost. 😇🙃 Pretty sure daydreaming about cozy mystery murders in the pews didn’t help. Not religious, just an expat American writer who loves ancient stained glass and historic churches in Southwest England. 🔎💀✨
March 4, 2025 at 2:47 PM