Rubberraven
@rubberraven.bsky.social
Autistic bisexual rubberist with BPD and bipolar type 1.
Trying to lead my authentic life while navigating my mental health challenges.
This is my space to vent and be genuine about my feelings and experiences.
Trying to lead my authentic life while navigating my mental health challenges.
This is my space to vent and be genuine about my feelings and experiences.
Have had completely zero motivation to do anything all afternoon/evening.
Everything is irritating me, and I'm bored all at the same time.
Maybe only having 4hrs sleep is the problem?
I guess we'll never know...
Everything is irritating me, and I'm bored all at the same time.
Maybe only having 4hrs sleep is the problem?
I guess we'll never know...
December 15, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Have had completely zero motivation to do anything all afternoon/evening.
Everything is irritating me, and I'm bored all at the same time.
Maybe only having 4hrs sleep is the problem?
I guess we'll never know...
Everything is irritating me, and I'm bored all at the same time.
Maybe only having 4hrs sleep is the problem?
I guess we'll never know...
Feeling very flat.
December 15, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Feeling very flat.
Logged into laptop. Wish I hadn't.
Closed laptop. Will deal with that tomorrow.
Closed laptop. Will deal with that tomorrow.
December 15, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Logged into laptop. Wish I hadn't.
Closed laptop. Will deal with that tomorrow.
Closed laptop. Will deal with that tomorrow.
I'm meant to log in to my laptop and do some work because I had to leave work early for my appointment.
I really have zero motivation now. I'm going to check my email, send an email, and log off for today. I'm totally not feeling it rn.
I really have zero motivation now. I'm going to check my email, send an email, and log off for today. I'm totally not feeling it rn.
December 15, 2025 at 5:53 AM
I'm meant to log in to my laptop and do some work because I had to leave work early for my appointment.
I really have zero motivation now. I'm going to check my email, send an email, and log off for today. I'm totally not feeling it rn.
I really have zero motivation now. I'm going to check my email, send an email, and log off for today. I'm totally not feeling it rn.
Another successful visit to my psychiatrist!
She's happy with how I'm going. We acknowledged that during spring I've been having an elevated mood, although not enough to call it hypomania.
I said long term I'd like to look at reducing my seroquel because it makes me so drowsy.
She's happy with how I'm going. We acknowledged that during spring I've been having an elevated mood, although not enough to call it hypomania.
I said long term I'd like to look at reducing my seroquel because it makes me so drowsy.
December 15, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Another successful visit to my psychiatrist!
She's happy with how I'm going. We acknowledged that during spring I've been having an elevated mood, although not enough to call it hypomania.
I said long term I'd like to look at reducing my seroquel because it makes me so drowsy.
She's happy with how I'm going. We acknowledged that during spring I've been having an elevated mood, although not enough to call it hypomania.
I said long term I'd like to look at reducing my seroquel because it makes me so drowsy.
Seeing my psychiatrist today. I think everything will be fine. I've been pretty good.
I don't want to change meds at all, happy with where things are.
Wish me luck!
#bipolar
I don't want to change meds at all, happy with where things are.
Wish me luck!
#bipolar
December 15, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Seeing my psychiatrist today. I think everything will be fine. I've been pretty good.
I don't want to change meds at all, happy with where things are.
Wish me luck!
#bipolar
I don't want to change meds at all, happy with where things are.
Wish me luck!
#bipolar
Fuck I'm feeling so edgy tonight.
I should be asleep, but instead I'm wide awake feeling bad that I'm not asleep yet.
I should be asleep, but instead I'm wide awake feeling bad that I'm not asleep yet.
December 14, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Fuck I'm feeling so edgy tonight.
I should be asleep, but instead I'm wide awake feeling bad that I'm not asleep yet.
I should be asleep, but instead I'm wide awake feeling bad that I'm not asleep yet.
Busy day.
Went for a massive bike ride with my eldest to a cafe.
Then came home before heading off again to take the youngest to a bouncy castle place (awesome on my sore knees 🙃)
Dropped the darling wife off at highpoint meanwhile.
I just want to sit down now.
Went for a massive bike ride with my eldest to a cafe.
Then came home before heading off again to take the youngest to a bouncy castle place (awesome on my sore knees 🙃)
Dropped the darling wife off at highpoint meanwhile.
I just want to sit down now.
December 14, 2025 at 6:42 AM
Busy day.
Went for a massive bike ride with my eldest to a cafe.
Then came home before heading off again to take the youngest to a bouncy castle place (awesome on my sore knees 🙃)
Dropped the darling wife off at highpoint meanwhile.
I just want to sit down now.
Went for a massive bike ride with my eldest to a cafe.
Then came home before heading off again to take the youngest to a bouncy castle place (awesome on my sore knees 🙃)
Dropped the darling wife off at highpoint meanwhile.
I just want to sit down now.
Feeling calm today.
5hrs sleep wasn't too bad considering.
It's a warm day here today.
I did a lot of work this week on workflows and stuff to make work/emails/tasks less laborious.
Maybe thats why I'm feeling calmer.
5hrs sleep wasn't too bad considering.
It's a warm day here today.
I did a lot of work this week on workflows and stuff to make work/emails/tasks less laborious.
Maybe thats why I'm feeling calmer.
December 12, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Feeling calm today.
5hrs sleep wasn't too bad considering.
It's a warm day here today.
I did a lot of work this week on workflows and stuff to make work/emails/tasks less laborious.
Maybe thats why I'm feeling calmer.
5hrs sleep wasn't too bad considering.
It's a warm day here today.
I did a lot of work this week on workflows and stuff to make work/emails/tasks less laborious.
Maybe thats why I'm feeling calmer.
My eldest had terrible trouble falling asleep last night. He was crying, beside himself.
Fell asleep eventually but I felt so bad for him.
Fell asleep eventually but I felt so bad for him.
December 11, 2025 at 10:33 PM
My eldest had terrible trouble falling asleep last night. He was crying, beside himself.
Fell asleep eventually but I felt so bad for him.
Fell asleep eventually but I felt so bad for him.
Got 5.5hrs sleep.
Woke up feeling like my brain is a clock with rusty gears and its crunching forward.
Traffic was shite and didn't get in until 7:30.
Feeling a bit buzzy brain.
Woke up feeling like my brain is a clock with rusty gears and its crunching forward.
Traffic was shite and didn't get in until 7:30.
Feeling a bit buzzy brain.
December 10, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Got 5.5hrs sleep.
Woke up feeling like my brain is a clock with rusty gears and its crunching forward.
Traffic was shite and didn't get in until 7:30.
Feeling a bit buzzy brain.
Woke up feeling like my brain is a clock with rusty gears and its crunching forward.
Traffic was shite and didn't get in until 7:30.
Feeling a bit buzzy brain.
Sooooooooo booooooorrrrrreeeeeedddddddd!!!!!!!!!
Translation: I'm annoyed, irritable and frustrated and want to take it out by having some S&M play but can't do that.
Translation: I'm annoyed, irritable and frustrated and want to take it out by having some S&M play but can't do that.
December 10, 2025 at 10:14 AM
Sooooooooo booooooorrrrrreeeeeedddddddd!!!!!!!!!
Translation: I'm annoyed, irritable and frustrated and want to take it out by having some S&M play but can't do that.
Translation: I'm annoyed, irritable and frustrated and want to take it out by having some S&M play but can't do that.
Home! About time!
I'm thinking takeaway for dinner tonight.
If the kids want McD the. I'll probably just have a shake. I've really gone off McD myself.
I'm thinking takeaway for dinner tonight.
If the kids want McD the. I'll probably just have a shake. I've really gone off McD myself.
December 10, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Home! About time!
I'm thinking takeaway for dinner tonight.
If the kids want McD the. I'll probably just have a shake. I've really gone off McD myself.
I'm thinking takeaway for dinner tonight.
If the kids want McD the. I'll probably just have a shake. I've really gone off McD myself.
Had energy to get stuff done until about 20mins ago and now I've just fallen in an unmotivational hole.
Maybe I should have an early lunch break to try and get focused again.
Maybe I should have an early lunch break to try and get focused again.
December 9, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Had energy to get stuff done until about 20mins ago and now I've just fallen in an unmotivational hole.
Maybe I should have an early lunch break to try and get focused again.
Maybe I should have an early lunch break to try and get focused again.
Got to go for a bike ride for 50mins.
Went pretty good.
Went pretty good.
December 9, 2025 at 8:54 AM
Got to go for a bike ride for 50mins.
Went pretty good.
Went pretty good.
Feeling really strongly like being in bondage atm. 🙁
December 9, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Feeling really strongly like being in bondage atm. 🙁
So tired.
I need an early night tonight I think.
I need an early night tonight I think.
December 8, 2025 at 12:53 AM
So tired.
I need an early night tonight I think.
I need an early night tonight I think.
Not feeling it today.
Don't want to work.
Don't want to work.
December 7, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Not feeling it today.
Don't want to work.
Don't want to work.
Fucking waste of a day.
Didn't get to do anything nice that I enjoyed all day and still had to drive for 3 hours and waste a tank of fuel.
Then got home too tired to cook anything so ordered dinner only to be called 30sec later to say they've run out of chicken parmas.
Didn't get to do anything nice that I enjoyed all day and still had to drive for 3 hours and waste a tank of fuel.
Then got home too tired to cook anything so ordered dinner only to be called 30sec later to say they've run out of chicken parmas.
December 7, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Fucking waste of a day.
Didn't get to do anything nice that I enjoyed all day and still had to drive for 3 hours and waste a tank of fuel.
Then got home too tired to cook anything so ordered dinner only to be called 30sec later to say they've run out of chicken parmas.
Didn't get to do anything nice that I enjoyed all day and still had to drive for 3 hours and waste a tank of fuel.
Then got home too tired to cook anything so ordered dinner only to be called 30sec later to say they've run out of chicken parmas.
Absolutely fucking awful trip.
What a shit day.
What a shit day.
December 7, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Absolutely fucking awful trip.
What a shit day.
What a shit day.
Went to Ballarat with the family to see a friend we haven't seen in years who's been living in Perth.
Youngest has decided that he hates everyone and everything and has thoroughly made the trip miserable.
Youngest has decided that he hates everyone and everything and has thoroughly made the trip miserable.
December 7, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Went to Ballarat with the family to see a friend we haven't seen in years who's been living in Perth.
Youngest has decided that he hates everyone and everything and has thoroughly made the trip miserable.
Youngest has decided that he hates everyone and everything and has thoroughly made the trip miserable.
Party was fun.
I sang I love rock & roll.
I sang I love rock & roll.
December 5, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Party was fun.
I sang I love rock & roll.
I sang I love rock & roll.
Work xmas party is ok. Food's nice. I'm getting stuck talking to 1 person though and I'm not socially skilled enough to know how to say "excuse me I want to go talk to other people now".
Maybe an extrovert will come and rescue me.
Maybe an extrovert will come and rescue me.
December 5, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Work xmas party is ok. Food's nice. I'm getting stuck talking to 1 person though and I'm not socially skilled enough to know how to say "excuse me I want to go talk to other people now".
Maybe an extrovert will come and rescue me.
Maybe an extrovert will come and rescue me.