Russell
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russellwcrews.bsky.social
Russell
@russellwcrews.bsky.social
A lot of people don’t know I was the first man to get a team of horses up Bear Mountain.
If you don’t count the Cardinals, this is the first year a bird mascot has made the World Series since the Blue Jays in 1993.

(There are only 3 bird mascots and this stat is useless, but then again so is life.)

Play ball!
October 21, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I took a look at all of the most honored Americans with statues in our venerable Capitol and not one of them is Clint Black. Shame.
August 8, 2025 at 2:45 PM
How long does America really have to wait for Hollywood to reboot "Bones"?
July 19, 2025 at 3:21 PM
OK logging off Bluesky for the moment, don't want to spoil all the exciting ESPYS moments before I can get back home to the vcr!
July 17, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Is 42 too young to get Old Glory Robot Insurance?
July 13, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I thought it was a bold introduction to the new Superman that the film was 2 hours of Clark Kent studiously reporting on the Metropolis Diocese child abuse scandal.
July 11, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Now, I want you to be completely honest with both yourself and others: which song makes a group of people, including yourself, go from 0 to 100 faster?

1) Mr. Brightside (The Killers)
2) Man, I Feel Like a Woman (Shania Twain)
June 30, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Y'all, get over here! These Mormon wives are telling all of the secrets of their lives!
June 21, 2025 at 5:07 AM
One small criticism I have is these filmmakers really do a poor job of making Lex Luthor likable. It's like they want to *tell* you who to root for!
June 14, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Why doesn't Loungefly make their fun pop culture backpacks to fit 5'7" 270lb men. Asking for a friend.
June 3, 2025 at 3:10 AM
I completely understand the panic in my son's voice when he sat down on the potty just now and exclaimed "I FORGOT MY TABLET!"
May 30, 2025 at 7:16 PM
How do we get notified that we've been chosen by the government to join the secret arks that will save humanity in the event of a worldwide disaster?
May 23, 2025 at 5:11 AM
With his elevation to the papacy, Leo XIV finally qualifies for the company dental plan.
May 11, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Most Popes tend to agree: you never truly understand the power of the office until they give you the launch codes for the Vatican nuclear arsenal.
May 11, 2025 at 1:24 AM
You know, I don't think that lady from The Guilded Age would have started the Metropolitan Opera if she had known all of this was the result.
May 6, 2025 at 5:06 AM
The results of the public vote are in and the new pope will be Popey McPopeface.
April 26, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Of all the Kennedys with foreign objects in their heads, we’re stuck with the one who got brain-eating worms.
April 17, 2025 at 12:22 PM
You remember back in high school Spanish class when everyone got Spanish names but sometimes there weren’t direct equivalents so your buddy John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt had to go by Guillermo?
April 12, 2025 at 9:24 AM
The saddest I ever am is when I decide I’ve eaten enough handfuls of shredded cheese over the sink and put it back in the fridge. Why did I do that to myself?!?
April 11, 2025 at 2:10 AM
If Mozart was so goddamn great how come he didn’t write the piano part to “Layla”? Huh?!?
April 9, 2025 at 10:27 PM
It’s important to be motivated and keep things orderly in your life. For instance, it doesn’t matter what happened the day after Christmas, because we just got the tree back up in the attic this evening.
April 7, 2025 at 3:43 AM
While I was close to my grandparents, that doesn’t mean I want to live through a Great Depression to understand them better. They can stay misunderstood for the rest of time.
April 6, 2025 at 4:43 PM
I think I speak for the majority of Americans in the south when I say I wish we had even more pollen.
April 2, 2025 at 12:46 PM
When I think about the state of this country, heck, the world, I find solace in the fact that at least Leonardo DaVinci didn’t live long enough to see this.
March 26, 2025 at 10:36 PM
You ever look at a clump of dandelions that have had their seeds blown away and thought, “Where’s your god now, you impotent bastard?!”
March 17, 2025 at 11:03 PM