Man, if this whole Epstein disaster ends up like the end of Fateful Findings, I feel like Neil Breen is going to ascend to heaven.

When you're around me, ya gotta look out for number one. And by "number one" I mean "my urine."

I see these posts with "never kill yourself" next to a good-looking sandwich and I'm thinking, "I can always eat the sandwich FIRST, stupid."

Somewhere this morning there's a CEO of a small, 5-person farm insurance company who's making it about him and wearing an improvised flak jacket of some muffin pans and soup pots.

Assisted Euthanasia Trends:

-Big slingshot pointed straight up
-Bucket overhead in doorway but full of gasoline and match strike mechanism
-Marathon into sea
-Slay Queen (get slain by a queen)

And number 1...

-The Empanadas Grande at Sir Delicioso's Bowel Obstruction Grille

I pee my pants just like everyone else--one leg at a time with my pants on the ground in front of me.