I'm done here too. Screaming my pain into the public void bc I never learned to journal. Shameful, pathetic, also pointless. Everything is pointless. I'm just gonna crawl back into the hole I was in for years and make sure only I have to deal with me. I get why I'm alone I fucking hate myself too.
August 29, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I'm done here too. Screaming my pain into the public void bc I never learned to journal. Shameful, pathetic, also pointless. Everything is pointless. I'm just gonna crawl back into the hole I was in for years and make sure only I have to deal with me. I get why I'm alone I fucking hate myself too.
Aside from my 3 partners while I still have them, I'm done with people. Full anti-social fuck people. Done with the socials, discords, raves, clubs, metas, polycules, everyone. When I do finally kick the bucket no one will know or care. Its better I'm forgotten rather than a crazy unloveable bitch.
August 29, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Aside from my 3 partners while I still have them, I'm done with people. Full anti-social fuck people. Done with the socials, discords, raves, clubs, metas, polycules, everyone. When I do finally kick the bucket no one will know or care. Its better I'm forgotten rather than a crazy unloveable bitch.
I won't try anything stupid bc I tried offing myself a lot in my early 20s and nothing worked. Weirdly invincible. Left alive while rotting in pain from a broken body and the same mental agony as I always have. None of my disabilities seem to be offing me yet either. Fucking annoying. I hate living.
August 29, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I won't try anything stupid bc I tried offing myself a lot in my early 20s and nothing worked. Weirdly invincible. Left alive while rotting in pain from a broken body and the same mental agony as I always have. None of my disabilities seem to be offing me yet either. Fucking annoying. I hate living.
Belated TWs but whoever's following should just leave rn, I'm venting fucked up shit, not the first time won't be the last
August 29, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Belated TWs but whoever's following should just leave rn, I'm venting fucked up shit, not the first time won't be the last
Craving the most unspeakable atrocious dehumanizing abusive treatment right now. Just spit and piss on me cut me beat me make me cry make me feel as worthless and fucked up as i am. Just leave me in an alley somewhere.
August 29, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Craving the most unspeakable atrocious dehumanizing abusive treatment right now. Just spit and piss on me cut me beat me make me cry make me feel as worthless and fucked up as i am. Just leave me in an alley somewhere.
10 down this month, ready to go down to hell
August 29, 2025 at 1:12 AM
10 down this month, ready to go down to hell
Its funny how I think I can starve myself to death when I was literally down to 63 pounds as a teenager and still didn't die. I died overdosing on meds instead. Don't know why the fuck they revived me, I should've stayed dead. Maybe I did.
August 29, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Its funny how I think I can starve myself to death when I was literally down to 63 pounds as a teenager and still didn't die. I died overdosing on meds instead. Don't know why the fuck they revived me, I should've stayed dead. Maybe I did.
I asked to talk two weeks ago but I guess you can't read fuck you
August 28, 2025 at 11:16 PM
I asked to talk two weeks ago but I guess you can't read fuck you
I want to redact myself lol
In minecraft
In minecraft
August 28, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I want to redact myself lol
In minecraft
In minecraft
At least I'm functioning enough not to be a problem for people and can be personable in the moment. But I am entrenched in feelings of agony and futility and I am on a thin and frayed tightrope mentally. Kinda only alive bc I haven't died yet but I'm sure not making much effort anymore.
August 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
At least I'm functioning enough not to be a problem for people and can be personable in the moment. But I am entrenched in feelings of agony and futility and I am on a thin and frayed tightrope mentally. Kinda only alive bc I haven't died yet but I'm sure not making much effort anymore.
Got that barely able to move or leave the bed depression this week. Got out of bed, turned on twitch only to see the shooting news. Shouldn't have left the bed. Fuck life.
August 28, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Got that barely able to move or leave the bed depression this week. Got out of bed, turned on twitch only to see the shooting news. Shouldn't have left the bed. Fuck life.
Had my urethra cherry popped for an exam and its got me pissing razorblades
Definitely not my kink 😭
Definitely not my kink 😭
August 27, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Had my urethra cherry popped for an exam and its got me pissing razorblades
Definitely not my kink 😭
Definitely not my kink 😭
August 23, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I will ride until my legs literally give out 🩷
August 18, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I will ride until my legs literally give out 🩷
Finishing up this page in my new modern fantasy coloring book today on a low energy stream
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
August 16, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Finishing up this page in my new modern fantasy coloring book today on a low energy stream
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Reposted by Who cares
Gonna eat some sushi and play some fortnite and maybe try the battlefield beta later or play something else. Who knows.
Come chat!
Twitch.tv/stellargwynn
Come chat!
Twitch.tv/stellargwynn
August 16, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Gonna eat some sushi and play some fortnite and maybe try the battlefield beta later or play something else. Who knows.
Come chat!
Twitch.tv/stellargwynn
Come chat!
Twitch.tv/stellargwynn
I fucking hate my brain. Always have always will. Sick of inhabiting it.
August 14, 2025 at 9:13 AM
I fucking hate my brain. Always have always will. Sick of inhabiting it.
Reposted by Who cares
Struggling to sleep, too much worry
August 12, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Struggling to sleep, too much worry
The struggle to get any food in has been so bad lately. Been passing out for entire REM cycles in the middle of the day and still feel like ass, been getting the shakes etc. still barely able to get a meals worth in. Sometimes I care, other times it's whatever. Losing grip on giving any fucks.
August 11, 2025 at 6:25 AM
The struggle to get any food in has been so bad lately. Been passing out for entire REM cycles in the middle of the day and still feel like ass, been getting the shakes etc. still barely able to get a meals worth in. Sometimes I care, other times it's whatever. Losing grip on giving any fucks.
Omggg y'all I didn't make it to affiliate yet but Twitch is letting me put in custom emotes and rewards eeeeeee 🩷
That's basically been my main goal since I started
Let the chaos fucking ensue!!!
twitch.tv/rydenthewind
That's basically been my main goal since I started
Let the chaos fucking ensue!!!
twitch.tv/rydenthewind
August 8, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Omggg y'all I didn't make it to affiliate yet but Twitch is letting me put in custom emotes and rewards eeeeeee 🩷
That's basically been my main goal since I started
Let the chaos fucking ensue!!!
twitch.tv/rydenthewind
That's basically been my main goal since I started
Let the chaos fucking ensue!!!
twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Gonna try to color away my depression with pretty gay fae
Feel free to put me on in the background
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Feel free to put me on in the background
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
August 8, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Gonna try to color away my depression with pretty gay fae
Feel free to put me on in the background
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Feel free to put me on in the background
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Goblin cleanup pt 2, and I've got yet another cute maid fit 🩷
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
August 3, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Goblin cleanup pt 2, and I've got yet another cute maid fit 🩷
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Twitch.tv/rydenthewind
Finally got myself to finish breakfast at 11:30pm. Just one of those days the ARFID is so bad. Food I love is gross and swallowing is so hard. Im so depleted and need calories bad rn too. Fucking sucks
August 3, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Finally got myself to finish breakfast at 11:30pm. Just one of those days the ARFID is so bad. Food I love is gross and swallowing is so hard. Im so depleted and need calories bad rn too. Fucking sucks
Why TF was this in the kids toy section at the thrift store omg noooo 💀
July 31, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Why TF was this in the kids toy section at the thrift store omg noooo 💀