TL;DR Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is genuinely one of the worst aspects of ADHD

I know I'll probably never be 100% perfect at not spiraling but at the very least I'll learn how to curb it as best as possible. I don't consider myself to be much of a clingy person nor do I desire constant attention but again it really goes back to wanting to avoid conflict where it's not needed

I suppose the bottom is: The best thing that can really be done about it is to adopt better coping strategies, and I guess do something creative/productive to prevent your mind from obsessing over what kind of conversations you were having with your peers that suddenly got put on ice

But even despite knowing this, the aforementioned trauma responses can make it rather difficult at times to fight off the urge to spiral. The intensity of it (for me at least) sometimes depends on what kind of day I'm having, but it can also happen completely by random and its never fun

And unfortunately these defensive habits are carried into adulthood even where they are not needed. As previously mentioned, it is rarely the case that someone not getting back to you for an extended period of time following a "risky" message is due to them not wanting to speak with you afterwards

This all traces back to the subconscious desire of not wanting to be disliked or hated, which despite it being an unrealistic goal in the grand scheme of things, is ultimately a trauma response from a childhood history of rejection, ostracization, and in some cases, loneliness.

This will likely continue to be a problem for me as I do sadly have a recent history of getting burned by ex-friends over minor misunderstandings or disagreements that would end up being blown far out of proportion. This rarely happens but when it does its been known to kill my mental for months :<

Sometimes to the point where, as depicted above, I do something needlessly impulsive such as retracting statements which only makes the whole thing even more awkward than it already was (if it was to begin with)

Every time I try to tell myself "They probably got caught up with something that requires immediate attention" or "Maybe they just forgot to reply (I am also known for doing that at times) and every time my anxiety just isn't having it so oftentimes I'm just sat there for hours worried about nothing

I figured it would probably be something along those lines so appreciate it nonetheless, might look more into it later either by random or if my current team ever has the opportunity to play at a lan,, thank you!

Appreciate it 🙏🏽

What constitutes as a good reason would be something like accommodating for player disabilities, rather than a player simply being far more adjusted to handheld gameplay than pro controller and thus preferring the former, right?

Idk if there ever will be a new LUTI season for the foreseeable future but at the very least I wanna have this out there for new players and teams to look at so that they know what major pitfalls to avoid because there's quite a few

I can't even last scrolling on twitter for more than 5 minutes anymore without feeling depressed and bsky while leagues more tolerable still has its problems, I can't tell if its more the internet in general becoming more unpleasant or that I've just become older and disillusioned/jaded(?)

In the meantime I think over thanksgiving/winter break I'll try and work on that LUTI Documentary that I meant to finish a while ago because that's something I want to at least have done before the end of the year

That being said I'm probably not gonna be active again until late Nov-early Dec at which point I should have recovered but from that point I'd also need to worry about derusting and whatnot, but I'm gonna focus on one issue at a time. I do intend to come back eventually it just won't be for a while